Spokane_Girl wrote:
It got me to do things like the time when I refused to put my clothes away and stuff, my mom wouldn't let me do anything unless I did it. One time she turned the TV off when I was playing a video game and she wouldn't let me do anything until I took my clothes upstairs to my room. I got so tired of not having anything to do, I finally did it and my mom turned the TV back on. It was horrible when she wouldn't let me play my game or play with anything else unless I did what she wanted me to do but it did get me to do what she wanted me to do. It was teaching me responsibility. If my mom was always doing things for me, I would never learn to do them myself because I would be too dependant on her and who knows what would happen when I moved out and I was on my own. Sometimes I wonder if that's why some people are lazy because they never pick up after themselves so their home is always a mess because their mommies always did it for them and didn't make them do things on their own growing up.
When she took things away from me, it got me to not do it again because I didn't want to go through it again. I have always hated being punished and it amazes me when I hear some kids don't even care because they find other things to do while the ones who do care are miserable and depressed and the parents are like "He/she has to learn and he won't do it again." If people think there is a better way of punishing their kids than taking things away from them or taking away their privileges, then they can do it with their own kids because every parent is different.
Whenever my punishment would end, it was heaven and I would be really happy again.
I heard punishment is supposed to be hell and make you unhappy or else you wouldn't learn a thing. If someone sends you to your room as a punishment and you don't mind it because it keeps you away from your family and from socializing, it's not a punishment then is it so your parents would have to find another punishment that would actually work and it would have to be something you really like or enjoy doing, not something you wouldn't mind such as being sent to your room.
If a parent took something from their teen as a punishment and their child hardly uses it, it's not a punishment then because they won't care if it got taken from them because they won't miss it and it won't drive them crazy without it.
Your mother sounds like she really knows you and makes choices to help you succeed but not overwhelm you into giving up.
I tried to imagine what it would be like for my parents to take things away from me to change my behavior. I think I would like it because it might mean they cared about me.
As for my son, he causes his own consequences. If he doesn't put the dishes back that he surrounds his computer with, he runs out of dishes. So he's getting much better at it. If he sleeps too long, he misses out on something he had hoped to do. If he doesn't clean up his area, his older brother and his girl friend don't like hanging around so when he knows they're coming over, he really works at cleaning up. If he doesn't pick up his socks, he runs out of socks. If he doesn't keep things reasonably straightened up he loses things or breaks them because he stepped on them. So he's seeing why he needs to take care of himself and his surroundings.
He, kind of, lives on his own because I split the upstairs and downstairs. We, parents and my severely autistic daughter live downstairs with a separate kitchen.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
08 Jun 2009, 1:12 pm
