Sucidal ideation

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I respectfully disagree with the poster above. I have learned a lot by going to therapy: techniques to battle depression and anxiety. Medication has also helped me. Therapy and psych. meds are not a cure for the human condition, but they have kept me alive and continue to keep me alive. Not only that, I am functional. I used to be totally incapacitated by my mental illnesses.

I get where you are coming from I think. 'Professionals' can be helpful but I find on the internet too many people will spew out the "see a doctor/therapist/professional" line when a difficult question is being asked and they don't know how to reply. I think it is almost better not to bother replying to such a question rather than posting meaningless and patronising advice like this.

To answer the OP - I frequently feel suicidal as I cannot see much purpose in life at all. I think about methods and whatnot but the reality is it is not that easy to 'follow through' on these thoughts. I'm sure if I had a readily available method then there are many times already in my life I would have followed through on the thoughts.

In a strange way the suicidal thoughts and research is an escape from reality - almost like a fantasy world where I can drift off for a few hours away from the misery of reality.

"How do you guys manage to live a happy fulfilling life? What do you do for activities? How do you manage socializing with friends?"
I don't. I have few activities (my life is online) and I don't have any friends. Hence the suicidal thoughts....

Wish I knew bro. Wish I knew. I've been severely battling a bout of suicidal thoughts for a few months now. I've always been plagued with them because I'm so dissatisfied.

Almost xanny-boozed myself into oblivion about a year and a half ago. Wasn't as bad as you though. Thats f*cked bro.

If you figure it out let me know...

I hear it is quite hard to kill yourself with benzos even when alcohol is mixed in, but you had a lucky escape I guess... depending on your view point.

The OP guzzling antifreeze just sounds like a way to end up in hospital in horrific pain.