Losing your special interest

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I just... made the decision to stop. It hurt. I've felt somewhat lost since, but I haven't gone back. I occasionally dabble still, but nothing like I was. Now I stick to my revolving interests. It's been over a decade.

After I was diagnosed, it was actually considered a detriment that I dropped it. They'd never heard of just stopping, & they said I'd feel less chaotic internally if I found a way to get back to it. For my own sanity tho, I strongly resisted that. When people asked about my knowledge on something but didn't actually listen, it made me feel unwelcome & relatively worthless. Waiting a couple years until someone else confirmed my information & then following the advice or implementing a thing, just made it feel worse.

I remember one evening in early 2016 when I was watching Hogan's Heroes one night and Germany whispered in my ear, "Come along with me." I was telling myself that it wasn't supposed to be happening. I listened to that whisper and I'm glad that I did. I feel a lot more natural with Germany as a special interest than I ever did when I was into Swinging London and Carnaby Street.

Try and think about something else anything other than what you are interested in and get rid of any things that fuel your special interest.

Well, this was 6 years ago, so I hope you got somewhere with it. I hoped this might be some help, but realised i don't know what your problem even is and I was just kinda writing about myself, but it was helpful to me and who knows, it might be helpful to someone.

It could be a good sign that you are considering the harmful impact your 'special interest' is having on other parts of life. That sounds like a necessary first step to toning it down. Maybe that means you are reconsidering what you feel is most important in life.

That would be my tip anyway. Reconsider what you think is most important in life. I had an obsession for many years, that just annoyed friends and family, Made me frustrated, because people didn't understand things the way i do and made me resent people. We struggle to make and keep good relationships as it is, without obsessions causing more barriers.

For me, striving for connection is the most important thing in life. If you're making something else more important, then making a connection with someone might seem hopeless. If you don't have good self-esteem, making a connection with someone else might seem hopeless. I'm still struggling to kick out things that I know are hurting my self esteem, but I know how important it is to feel good about yourself. It gives you the spark you need, to interact with people. Even writing this down is giving me the confidence to keep trying and I urge you to do it.

Not knowing what your particular interest is, I'm not sure whether this is making any sense, but if it's a vice, like porn, gambling, drink, drugs, etc. know that it's not helping you. Every time you do it, it's harming you and making your life harder and stopping you getting the good things in life. Just do everything you can to stop it. no question. I can't say anything else about it.

If it's some other interest, that you really believe has some value, but is causing some conflict in your life. re-evaluate what is most important and make concessions. Can it really be right if it's hurting you, those you love or who love you?. Can you take what is helpful to the rest of your life and discard what is not? For me, I felt i had a spiritual awakening and developed this kind of messiah complex. what I learned over time, was this was my journey, not everyone elses. Use what I find to try to become a better person and let others be themselves.

That kinda leads me onto something else I wanted to say. If you want to make a connection with someone, you have to focus on them and not yourself. Show them, with your manner, your positivity and your smile that you value them and they make you happy. Respect that their lives, beliefs and perspectives have value and take an interest in them, even though they are different than yours, no, BECAUSE they are different than yours. You need to keep learning and growing. Thinking that you or your obsession are the only thing that's important, or you're always right, you know what's what and you've got it all worked out is a dead end in life and it's just lonely.

I'm no longer interested in Wolf Children or Gwen from Total Drama what am I going to do? Those things used to be really important to me. I wish I still liked those things but I find them both dull as dirt now

One thing I've found about special interests is that the intensity might fade or wax and wane, but they always leave an imprint. They can come back at any time and the affection I have for them remains for life. Each one I've had since I was a little kid still spark joy when I'm reminded of them, they're still me-things, they just don't take over my thoughts and drive me crazy anymore. The only way I know how to "get rid" of one is to let nature take its course and something else will replace it in time. I sometimes grieve the highs of a special interest's peak if it was an especially fun one but it's comforting knowing that I never truly go off it.

My old special interest from my early teens, tatu, are still my favourite band now. When I was a little kid I was obsessed with A Bug's Life and could recite the script from memory. I can't do that anymore but I'm always very excited to see merchandise in vintage shops and stuff.

Well, without David the special interests of marriage and parenting are kinda starting to fade away because he was the only man I desired to do that stuff with!! !

HOWEVER, if I start dating a new man at Day Program who is as good (or even better!) than David then I would be willing to try for the goal one more time!

It's not his fault that this happened to him but it messed up all of our plans!! !