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Have you told your friends you have asperger's syndrome?
Yes 34%  34%  [ 27 ]
Yes 34%  34%  [ 27 ]
No 16%  16%  [ 13 ]
No 16%  16%  [ 13 ]
Total votes : 80

earthmonkey
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27 Jun 2005, 8:05 pm

Yeah, I told my friends, but only after I'd known them enough so that I knew they were my friends and thus would not judge me harshly. It would feel rather strange to introduce myself by saying, "I have Asperger Syndrome, and by the way, my name is Melody." That would be hilarious, though I am glad that I have more sense than that. As far as bullying goes, I didn't really have any awareness about what AS is until maybe a year ago, even though I was diagnosed in the fourth grade and then only known that it had to do with social interaction. By ninth grade, I was in a highly flexible and accepting school, in which the only thing you could do to really alienate yourself would be to randomly attack people or something like that, but it was kind of interesting that in my health book, when we were doing mental and emotional health, the textbook had everything from schizophrenia to shyness, but it did not have autism even mentioned, but that was really off topic, so I think I'm done.



Tim_p
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27 Jun 2005, 8:46 pm

I wrote:
Friends?
Seriously though, no, I haven't told any of my few friends.


Prometheus wrote:
Friends? What friends?


Ok, I do have a few friends, but I am not going to tell them b/c I don't know for absoultely sure yet. . . .I am at 90% sure, but I would rather not tell anyone unless they are truly on a need-to-know basis, and I doubt that will ever happen.


Seems we have some things in common. :)



SpaceCase
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27 Jun 2005, 9:11 pm

I've told only 4 people so far..but if any one else asks,I'll tell 'em.


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ghotistix
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27 Jun 2005, 9:17 pm

I was once watching a Law and Order episode on TV with my brother and my best friend. Watching the murderer's over-the-top behaviorisms was making me increasingly nervous. At the end of the show, the investigators figured out the suspect had Asperger's Syndrome, informed him of it, and arrested him. The murderer was horrified by the diagnosis and wouldn't accept it, and as the credits rolled my brother commented that he was overreacting. So my best friend says "Well, how would you act if you just found out you had a horrible disease like that?"

I just sat there trying not to laugh. That's what made me decide it would be best to keep it quiet from anyone who doesn't directly ask me.



pizzaboss
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27 Jun 2005, 10:13 pm

I haven't told my friends I have AS.



Nomaken
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27 Jun 2005, 11:25 pm

I told them the minute i realized how many symptoms i had. I don't hold back on telling people crap. I told em i was an XXY male the second i found out too. I've got 2 infrequent signifigant conditions, woot!



strange_wraith
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27 Jun 2005, 11:33 pm

I made what I think was a mistake in the long run; I never told anyone at my high school about it. So I was there acting all odd and there was no real reason given for it. I think that in the long run, that didn't help me all that much. Now that I'm getting back togther with my friends in high school, I'm being open and honest about it. So far, it hasn't driven anyone away, but I also only really told one person. I guess I need to find more of my friends.


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GalileoAce
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27 Jun 2005, 11:34 pm

ghotistix wrote:
I was once watching a Law and Order episode on TV with my brother and my best friend. Watching the murderer's over-the-top behaviorisms was making me increasingly nervous. At the end of the show, the investigators figured out the suspect had Asperger's Syndrome, informed him of it, and arrested him. The murderer was horrified by the diagnosis and wouldn't accept it, and as the credits rolled my brother commented that he was overreacting. So my best friend says "Well, how would you act if you just found out you had a horrible disease like that?"

I just sat there trying not to laugh. That's what made me decide it would be best to keep it quiet from anyone who doesn't directly ask me.


I would've corrected the best friend almost instantly, "It's not a disease. Nor is it horrible."

hehe, of course then the friend would've asked, "How do you know?"


GA



rearden
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28 Jun 2005, 5:09 am

I have one friend who knows, because he helped me find out I have AS. We were reading the newspaper at a restaurant and came across an article about how a school was having an "autism awareness week" for an autistic student who transferred there. That's probably the LAST thing an autistic person would want and it likely traumatized the poor kid, but I digress. Anyway my friend said something like "If there's a mild version of autism, I bet anything you have it.. You're a computer genius, can memorize numbers better than anyone I've ever known, and have no social skills. It'd make so much sense."

So we started looking into it, I found out about AS, and all the symptoms matched me so well it was eerie. Especially the childhood symptoms like early reading ability (3, in my case), strange childhood obsessions and collections, poor social skills, etc. After that, I figured that if someone knows me well enough to notice that I'm different and ask about it, I'll share it with them. Otherwise, I have no interest in parading it around.



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28 Jun 2005, 6:33 am

Not really.

I've told a few people. I'd rather people didn't know to be honest - until I know them better.



duncvis
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28 Jun 2005, 9:15 am

I'm fairly open about it - it tends to provoke an 'oh.... now that makes sense' response in people who know me. As I have difficulty following conversations and reacting appropriately to stress, it usually has to come out sooner or later - if anyone reacts more negatively to me knowing I am autistic rather than simply acting like an arse, I don't care - that makes them socially challenged. :twisted:

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Feather
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28 Jun 2005, 10:38 am

My boyfriend knows - I didn't have to tell him, he asked me if I had it 8O

I broached the subject with my best friend (he is also my ex) once and he said 'don't be silly, I once met someone with that and although your brain obviously doesn't work the same way as most peoples, you're nowhere near as odd as he is' :? which was pretty unhelpful. I talked to him again about it more recently and we discussed how people have different difficulties, how they manifest in different ways, and how one can learn coping strategies in order to fit in better. We then spoke about some of the ways in which I was different, and how they manifested themselves in my behaviour. By the end of the conversation he was nodding and chipping in with stuff like 'oooh so that explains why you had trouble with this situation....' so it went well in the end, and he accepted what I told him.

I have told two other people and got a good, non-patronising, response from them. Both knew a fair bit about Asperger's and it went pretty smoothly.

Other than that, I keep it to myself. I know some ignorant people (one of whom asked my boyfriend, intending it as an insult, 'are you on the spectrum?' and then stated as fact that only boys could have Asperger's..... don't think I'll be broaching the subject with her any time soon :evil: )



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28 Jun 2005, 11:16 am

If someone asks directly, I might tell them, depending on how long I've known them, how good of a friend they are, etc. Otherwise, if I know the person, but not really well (as in an aquaintance from classes or something), then I'll just make a joke about not really being a people-person, so to speak. It's seemed to work out quite well in the past. Most of my friends already know that I'm a little strange, so it doesn't seem to bother them.


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ashkelon
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28 Jun 2005, 2:05 pm

After about a week to let it soak in, and talk with my family, and get a preliminary dx, I told the guys on my programming team. There was a collective sort of "Oh! Thaaaaaaaaaat's why you....." fill in the blank.

Which lead to the first socially friction-free work week in my entire life.

And damn that feels good.

It didn't change a thing about my anxiety and strangeness, but it did make it easier for them to be patient while I work through it. And almost immediately they began making sure I heard and saw what was going on, and began to regonize there was nothing personal in my hyperfocus (or inattentiveness depending where the focus is), and they began giving me space that was not avoidance.

I wish I'd known 30 years ago. Keeps all of us from having to guess, and none of us were doing a good job second guessing eachother.



larsenjw92286
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28 Jun 2005, 7:34 pm

I do not tell people I have Asperger's Syndrome unless I have known them for a very long time.


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lowfreq50
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29 Jun 2005, 12:29 am

A friend who's brother is autistic noticed how much I was like his brother. So, this made me start doing research on it. That's how I decided I am AS. I've only told him and one other friend. Then that first friend went and told EVERYONE. But no one seems to be bothered by it because they already figured I wasn't "right in the head."