Aspergers and Narcissistic Abuse

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I have fell victim to abuse from narcissistic individuals before, both in my family and outside. Once you can sort them out, protecting oneself from them becomes a priority. I no longer see part of my extended family just to get away from them.

Currently, I have to deal with a boss who definitely shows the dark triad personality traits. He is a special type of bully that hides behind his power so you never get a chance to defend yourself from his subtle (and not so subtle) attacks. He likes to stack the deck in his favor regardless if it is legal or not. In a way, he is the perfect politician. Dark triad members are the worst to have to deal with.

Everyone on the spectrum really needs to be weary of those individuals in that category. They are our kryptonite.

I am a victim of a narcissist, 10 years now - it’s hell!

I was a victim of a narcissistic parter for 10 years. I got out but had to leave my child behind to do it. Communication with my child is better now after years of not being good at all. Very painful experience!! !

Looking back I find it amazing that I couldn't see the problems from the beginning. But then narcissists are good at manipulating and seeming like something other than themselves. They can certainly see us from a mile away. They pick on those they know they can use. They are looking for a "perfect mirror" to see themselves as they wish they were: perfect. We fill that role well.

so there must have been the odd sock puppet around these parts over the years?

I have suffered from narcissistic abuse for 3 years.

Our solitary nature allows us to see through exploitation, especially if we have prior knowledge of manipulation tactics (in fact I suffered from abuse **knowingly**). On the other hand, most of us have a low self-esteem and want to be normal, and narcissists can abuse by labelling our behavior as "insane".

I reasonable came up with a theory -- maybe it's not a disease but an evolutionary strategy. Exploitative, free-riding individuals exists in all species with a social structure, in small amounts.

I'm somewhat bemused by the way some see a connection between Narcissism and autism. That some centres add NPD to their "autism" spectrum, just emphasises how absurd the idea of a spectrum is. I you look at criteria for either Autism (historic meaning) and Kanner autism, compared to NPD, and you find that, by almost every measure, they are at opposite ends of the bell curve, with all of humanity in between. To put them both in the same basket is absurd!

I note to that most people seem to think that NPD involves a low empathy, which would be the only common factor if it was true. This, though is down to the common misunderstanding of what the word empathy means; though they often appear together in the same person, it need not be so, as empathy has nothing to do with sympathy or compassion. It's all about the ability to read and identify with how people are feeling, which is why real NPDs (your typical internet troll) like sadists, contrary to what most suppose, have high empathy; it is the mechanism by which they enjoy the harm and suffering they do!

Low empathy as is found in most autisitcs (by whichever definition) is what makes them so straight and honest, not being naturally inclined to read between the lines. Most herd humans agree the world would be a better place if all behaved like that, if you pin them down, but then they go straight back to "communicating" by hints and evasions. It also means being less covetous of other peoples' property, which explains in part why they are underrepresented in the prison population.

Was that last point news to many of you? It was common knowledge when I first took a look at this stuff, circa 35 years ago, but I doubt you'd find much if you googled for it today; much of what is good about being autistic is been steadily buried (Mention that Einstein was autistic on sites like Quora, and it gets deleted!). He may be 40 years late, but Big Brother isn't far away...

"cognitive empathy" and "affectionate empathy"? Which one does Big Brother have?