For Women only. Did/do you like romantic gestures?

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Did/do you like romantic gestures?
Yes, I did, but not now. 13%  13%  [ 3 ]
Yes, I do. 48%  48%  [ 11 ]
No, it is creepy. 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
No, it is just annoying. 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
I am a man and I voted by accident. 22%  22%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 23

Whale_Tuune
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04 Nov 2020, 9:04 am

Depends on the gesture and the person doing it I suppose.


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04 Nov 2020, 3:28 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How would you define romantic?


A romantic gesture is a gesture which is intended to initiate a relationship that involves sexual intimacy if things go well.
Hopefully, both parties would understand where this gesture might lead.
(Not to be confused with a platonic gesture of appreciation.)

You could say the *intent* is the determining factor in defining a romantic gesture.

BTW, I have researched different types of relationships.
A "Romantic" relationship *necessitates* an inherent desire for an eventual sexual component.

The type of romantic gesture would be up to the individual. It could be as creative, or traditional, as they like.
The aim is to show interest and to pique interest in the other person.

Personally, I like the creative approach.
I remember sending a coloured letter & envelope, where I actually designed and drew my own postage stamp, as an example. 8)
It involved a unique approach with hands-on involvement.
It was appreciated. 8)

I was very young, at the time. These days I would simply give cash. :money: <joke> :mrgreen:



martianprincess
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05 Nov 2020, 2:00 pm

I love romantic gestures from a partner.
If I don't really know him and he's trying to win me over, I just feel embarrassed on his behalf.


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05 Nov 2020, 7:20 pm

martianprincess wrote:
I love romantic gestures from a partner.
If I don't really know him and he's trying to win me over, I just feel embarrassed on his behalf.


So, how do you initiate or want your romantic interest to initiate a new romantic relationship?
A romantic coffee, imbued with kisses? :scratch:

"Hey, you? :mrgreen:



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05 Nov 2020, 7:25 pm

I think, as a general rule, the gesture in question should be proportional to the progression of the relationship.

Personally I've never really experienced a romantic gesture. Except if you count a stalker I had once who kept getting me gifts such as toy sheep. I'm not entirely sure why, sheep aren't particularly special to me in any way. The gifts weren't for any occasion. Yet I felt awkward rejecting the gifts, especially around others. So, I accepted the gifts, even though I wasn't always sure what to do with them.

That's the problem with public displays such as this, it puts pressure on the person receiving the gesture to act positively. You don't want to cause a scene. It was later used against me, as my stalker claimed that I was leading him on by accepting his gifts and being his friend. Despite telling him early on that I was not interested and gay. Yet he seemed under the impression that if he kept liking all my posts, showing up with gifts when I was trying to do work, telling my friends I was interested in him, following me around and constantly re-asking me to date him that I'd give in eventually. I only kept being his friend as he told me about his mental health issues and I didn't want to make him worse which he indirectly implied breaking contact with him would lead to. Unfortunately a rather common manipulation tactic I'm afraid. I eventually decided to block all his accounts and I'd change walking routes just to avoid the guy. A few years later I saw a friend request from him; I shuddered and deleted it.

As for women, usually the only attention I get is for my physical appearance. I've been told that they would sleep with me (not directly to my face, but I have had friends report back to me that they have told them this...whether this is an accurate source or not is another question...) or that a woman otherwise thinks I'm cute. I've also had remarks from women that they'd like to date someone like me but not me to which I respond "Oh, OK" and move on. One time this happened in the context of "I wish I would fall for someone like you; someone not chaotic. You're like an anchor. I seem to be drawn to chaos instead but I wish I wasn't sometimes; I'm plenty chaos already".

However, hypothetically if a woman were interested, I'd prefer small gestures such as meeting for coffee or mentioning minor interests such as noticing a sticker or badge on a jacket or bag and asking about it. Some flirtatious banter is OK, particularly if both people involved are aware of the mutual interest. The relationship should feel like a natural development. Any confessions should be in private conversation. Granted, this isn't exactly my area.


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05 Nov 2020, 7:26 pm

Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How would you define romantic?


A romantic gesture is a gesture which is intended to initiate a relationship that involves sexual intimacy if things go well.
Hopefully, both parties would understand where this gesture might lead.
(Not to be confused with a platonic gesture of appreciation.)

You could say the *intent* is the determining factor in defining a romantic gesture.

BTW, I have researched different types of relationships.
A "Romantic" relationship *necessitates* an inherent desire for an eventual sexual component.

The type of romantic gesture would be up to the individual. It could be as creative, or traditional, as they like.
The aim is to show interest and to pique interest in the other person.

Personally, I like the creative approach.
I remember sending a coloured letter & envelope, where I actually designed and drew my own postage stamp, as an example. 8)
It involved a unique approach with hands-on involvement.
It was appreciated. 8)

I was very young, at the time. These days I would simply give cash. :money: <joke> :mrgreen:


Once upon a time, a dance partner sent me a card by mail that was filled with tiny sparkly hearts and stars. We never quite got connected, but there were a lot of near misses.


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martianprincess
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05 Nov 2020, 7:36 pm

Pepe wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
I love romantic gestures from a partner.
If I don't really know him and he's trying to win me over, I just feel embarrassed on his behalf.


So, how do you initiate or want your romantic interest to initiate a new romantic relationship?
A romantic coffee, imbued with kisses? :scratch:

"Hey, you? :mrgreen:


If we've been dating awhile he can just ask me if I want to be his girlfriend. :lol:
After that, I love adoration! He can do whatever he wants then. Haha


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AuroraBorealisGazer
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05 Nov 2020, 7:44 pm

Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How would you define romantic?


A romantic gesture is a gesture which is intended to initiate a relationship that involves sexual intimacy if things go well.
Hopefully, both parties would understand where this gesture might lead.
(Not to be confused with a platonic gesture of appreciation.)

You could say the *intent* is the determining factor in defining a romantic gesture.

BTW, I have researched different types of relationships.
A "Romantic" relationship *necessitates* an inherent desire for an eventual sexual component.

The type of romantic gesture would be up to the individual. It could be as creative, or traditional, as they like.
The aim is to show interest and to pique interest in the other person.

Personally, I like the creative approach.
I remember sending a coloured letter & envelope, where I actually designed and drew my own postage stamp, as an example. 8)
It involved a unique approach with hands-on involvement.
It was appreciated. 8)

I was very young, at the time. These days I would simply give cash. :money: <joke> :mrgreen:


Okay I see now. The intent of gain is a larger part of the definition than I realized. So perhaps some of the things I've thought of as romantic are more gestures of love than romancing, since the intention is different.

I like actions that demonstrate affection, and I prefer ones that are unique or personal. Such as the creative example you cited, which required creativity and a lot of thought and time to complete.



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06 Nov 2020, 2:44 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How would you define romantic?


A romantic gesture is a gesture which is intended to initiate a relationship that involves sexual intimacy if things go well.
Hopefully, both parties would understand where this gesture might lead.
(Not to be confused with a platonic gesture of appreciation.)

You could say the *intent* is the determining factor in defining a romantic gesture.

BTW, I have researched different types of relationships.
A "Romantic" relationship *necessitates* an inherent desire for an eventual sexual component.

The type of romantic gesture would be up to the individual. It could be as creative, or traditional, as they like.
The aim is to show interest and to pique interest in the other person.

Personally, I like the creative approach.
I remember sending a coloured letter & envelope, where I actually designed and drew my own postage stamp, as an example. 8)
It involved a unique approach with hands-on involvement.
It was appreciated. 8)

I was very young, at the time. These days I would simply give cash. :money: <joke> :mrgreen:


Okay I see now. The intent of gain is a larger part of the definition than I realized. So perhaps some of the things I've thought of as romantic are more gestures of love than romancing, since the intention is different.

I like actions that demonstrate affection, and I prefer ones that are unique or personal. Such as the creative example you cited, which required creativity and a lot of thought and time to complete.


Nice one indeed, and thoughtful.


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Pepe
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06 Nov 2020, 5:35 am

blazingstar wrote:
Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How would you define romantic?


A romantic gesture is a gesture which is intended to initiate a relationship that involves sexual intimacy if things go well.
Hopefully, both parties would understand where this gesture might lead.
(Not to be confused with a platonic gesture of appreciation.)

You could say the *intent* is the determining factor in defining a romantic gesture.

BTW, I have researched different types of relationships.
A "Romantic" relationship *necessitates* an inherent desire for an eventual sexual component.

The type of romantic gesture would be up to the individual. It could be as creative, or traditional, as they like.
The aim is to show interest and to pique interest in the other person.

Personally, I like the creative approach.
I remember sending a coloured letter & envelope, where I actually designed and drew my own postage stamp, as an example. 8)
It involved a unique approach with hands-on involvement.
It was appreciated. 8)

I was very young, at the time. These days I would simply give cash. :money: <joke> :mrgreen:


Once upon a time, a dance partner sent me a card by mail that was filled with tiny sparkly hearts and stars. We never quite got connected, but there were a lot of near misses.


*THAT* is what I am talking about, people. :mrgreen:
Playful, childlike (not childish) creativity.

Do people prefer to indulge in youthful playful naivete when someone initiates a potential romantic relationship?
Or is it a take no prisoners approach? :scratch:

Unicorns, rainbows, and wide-eyed smiles, :D
Or,
A tango and a dark red rose between the teeth with a fierce look of passion? 8)

Name your poison. :skull: :mrgreen:



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06 Nov 2020, 6:14 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:

Okay I see now. The intent of gain is a larger part of the definition than I realized. So perhaps some of the things I've thought of as romantic are more gestures of love than romancing, since the intention is different.

I like actions that demonstrate affection, and I prefer ones that are unique or personal. Such as the creative example you cited, which required creativity and a lot of thought and time to complete.


Well, the ultimate name of the game of "Romance" is to engage in sexual intimacy.
All these courtship behaviours are the result of the evolutionary process.

Quote:
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond.


And what is the purpose of the bonding process, utilising oxytocin?
Ultimately, to provide a more effective environment to raise offsprings, usually.

By definition, not opinion, a romantic relationship is inherently sexual, in nature.
So yes, there is a desire for gain.
From the evolutionary POV, the gain goes beyond the euphoria of orgasmic release to procreation. 8O



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06 Nov 2020, 6:21 am

martianprincess wrote:
Pepe wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
I love romantic gestures from a partner.
If I don't really know him and he's trying to win me over, I just feel embarrassed on his behalf.


So, how do you initiate or want your romantic interest to initiate a new romantic relationship?
A romantic coffee, imbued with kisses? :scratch:

"Hey, you? :mrgreen:


If we've been dating awhile he can just ask me if I want to be his girlfriend. :lol:
After that, I love adoration! He can do whatever he wants then. Haha


What, no grovelling?
You are easy to please. :mrgreen:



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06 Nov 2020, 6:31 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
I think, as a general rule, the gesture in question should be proportional to the progression of the relationship.


This has been mentioned a number of times.
Presumably, culminating in a 35K engagement ring. :mrgreen:

Lost_dragon wrote:
However, hypothetically if a woman were interested, I'd prefer small gestures such as meeting for coffee or mentioning minor interests such as noticing a sticker or badge on a jacket or bag and asking about it. Some flirtatious banter is OK, particularly if both people involved are aware of the mutual interest.


Thank you for your input. :wink:



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06 Nov 2020, 1:48 pm

The post you linked is specifically about harassment. The romantic gestures are merely incidental to the harassment.

After person A has expressed disinterest in person B, person B's repeated romantic gestures towards person A constitute harassment.

So this thread is apparently based on a misunderstanding.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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06 Nov 2020, 4:56 pm

Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:

Okay I see now. The intent of gain is a larger part of the definition than I realized. So perhaps some of the things I've thought of as romantic are more gestures of love than romancing, since the intention is different.

I like actions that demonstrate affection, and I prefer ones that are unique or personal. Such as the creative example you cited, which required creativity and a lot of thought and time to complete.


Well, the ultimate name of the game of "Romance" is to engage in sexual intimacy.
All these courtship behaviours are the result of the evolutionary process.

Quote:
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond.


And what is the purpose of the bonding process, utilising oxytocin?
Ultimately, to provide a more effective environment to raise offsprings, usually.

By definition, not opinion, a romantic relationship is inherently sexual, in nature.
So yes, there is a desire for gain.
From the evolutionary POV, the gain goes beyond the euphoria of orgasmic release to procreation. 8O


I can appreciate the logic behind it :)



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07 Nov 2020, 1:28 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Pepe wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:

Okay I see now. The intent of gain is a larger part of the definition than I realized. So perhaps some of the things I've thought of as romantic are more gestures of love than romancing, since the intention is different.

I like actions that demonstrate affection, and I prefer ones that are unique or personal. Such as the creative example you cited, which required creativity and a lot of thought and time to complete.


Well, the ultimate name of the game of "Romance" is to engage in sexual intimacy.
All these courtship behaviours are the result of the evolutionary process.

Quote:
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond.


And what is the purpose of the bonding process, utilising oxytocin?
Ultimately, to provide a more effective environment to raise offsprings, usually.

By definition, not opinion, a romantic relationship is inherently sexual, in nature.
So yes, there is a desire for gain.
From the evolutionary POV, the gain goes beyond the euphoria of orgasmic release to procreation. 8O


I can appreciate the logic behind it :)


The "problem" is, how does one incorporate non-mating couples into the equation?
Well, simply by broadening our object perspective.

What does that mean?
Ask me, if you dare. 8)