Boundaries of acceptable conflict

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Let me share a secret with you: Others are just as convinced that you know what you're doing when you post content that triggers them.

Yes. When you post on a public forum, other members are entitled to respond with their opinions, as long as they're keeping to the general rules.

So the part about in a contemptuous, sarcastic, demeaning, insulting way, what <removed> himself calls flaming, is okay to do then?

Last edited by magz on 29 Dec 2020, 9:15 am, edited 1 time in total.: No names, please.

As long as one attacks what you say and not yourself, being contemptuous, sarcastic and demeaning is acceptable in world view discussions on WP. Yes, other social media may have different rules on it, WP has it regulated that way.

If one crosses that boundary and attacks the person not opinion, report.

To say that WP has different rules, is an understatement.

Especially what seems be different rules for different people. The minute I reciprocated I was told to stop.

No hard feelings though. I'm glad it's been clearly established how things work here.

"Reciprocation" of attacks is generally unwelcome here. You're not the only one asked not to do it.

The rules are the way they are. It's okay to attack opinions and content, it's not okay to attack persons. If you see others not keeping to these rules, don't engage, report. If you don't accept these rules, use social media with rules you accept.

So if I do the same thing they are doing to me, back to them, that's unwelcome. They can, but I can't?

No one can or all can.
If you see someone attacking you, report. If you see someone attacking your opinions - you can do the same (and prepare for more attacks on your opinions in response).
If you see someone attacking a straw man, best make your real opinion clear so everyone can see this is a straw man's opinion, not yours.

Well I've been on a lot of forums, both autism and NT, have talked with many moderators, have been and am currently a moderator myself, and to me WP in comparison is like some kind of alternate reality, that operates on a totally different set of rules as you say. I'll just have to muddle my way through it like a stranger in a strange land.

Reporting things isn't going to work because what I see as wrong won't be seen as wrong by the WP staff. And likewise I'll keep ending up doing what's seen as wrong by the WP staff, that wouldn't be seen as wrong by the staff on my other forums.

Last edited by Tempus Fugit on 29 Dec 2020, 11:02 am, edited 2 times in total.

Every forum i have been on always had this stuff happen. It's always entertaining to read but then it gets boring after a while because everyone has the inability to move on. Especially is there is always someone who wants to play the devil's advocate or wants to argue about stuff they agree with just for the challenge. This never goes well.

The opposite also happens -- I have been a member of websites where everyone else was in agreement with each other, and where those of us who either disagreed, presented fact-based research, or introduced new ideas were banned without appeal, explanation, or warning.  Those websites are referred to as "Echo Chambers".

There's been several people who call WP an echo chamber.

Here I moved one myself.

And yet I'm being bashed as an anti-masker, anti-epidemiologist tinfoil hat nutjob etc in lengthy rambling flame posts full of imaginary wrongs I've never actually committed. Which is supposed to be normal here I guess from what I can figure out what you're telling me.

You're being bashed or some straw man the "bashers" imagine is being bashed?

Well the word "you" is used quite a bit. Often written in caps as "YOU". "You this, you that". "You... you... you... And "you" as in me personally. But also that too.

Apparently it's okay to write defaming faction about other members as long as it's framed correctly.

Last edited by Tempus Fugit on 29 Dec 2020, 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree magz. Civil dialogue is something for people to work towards. I think magz is excellent at this. I wish I had her skills.

I stay out of PPR because of the difficulties people have in reining in their emotions about certain topics, myself included. I have "lost it" in PPR a couple of times and am embarrassed about those posts.

I would love to have actual discussions about controversial topics in which people listen to what others have to say. I rarely see that happen anywhere.

Tempus, I have spent time in my life working out what you are working on now, as far as understanding, in this thread. While it still riles me up, I try not to act on these instigations. What magz is trying to explain to you, I think (and I could be wrong), is that regardless of others' behaviors, you can control your behavior. It is the only thing you can control.

You have a choice not respond to instigations. Do you have the right to respond and be upset? Probably. Does it help you to respond with vitriol? Probably not.

Ignoring people goes a long way to reducing inflammatory posts against you. Taking time between reading and posting back is helpful. It really doesn't matter what goldfish or uncommon has to say about you. The people who know you understand what is going on.

Should WP mods be making an effort to "correct" the behavior of posters who may (or may not - I haven't read the threads) be bullying you? Probably. I would hope there would be some effort made to teach people how to communicate more respectfully. Will they? I have no idea because I am not involved, although I can tell by her efforts, magz is making a huge effort toward more civil discourse.

I don't think it is beneficial to compare WP to other forums, regardless of autism or NT. We can't make WP into something it isn't. We can try to improve the civility of discourse though.

In the end, autism is an impairment of social communication. It is difficult to realize that while "we" (editorially) think we can "see" what is going on with another person, "we" really can't. One of the most important things I have learned with some 20 years now of working with people with disabilities is that the variation in abilities is myriad and wondrous. One of the reasons I am good at my work is that I put a lot of effort into understanding the ability to connect and where that ability is impaired. And the big realization is that I am always learning.

Cheers to magz. Cheers to Tempus. Keep on talking.

There's several people I can get into a mature, respectable civil argument with on WP. They usually refrain from arguing, but I know if I got into an argument with them, that's how it would go.

As for the last several exchanges the flaming viterol has been one sided.

I have simply responded with things like "I never said that or indicated that. That is just something you made up" which is the fact of the matter.

I'm not pissed off by it, just perplexed by it. And perplexed that it's perfectly acceptable on WP. It's not even happening in PPR but rather in News and Current Events.

Quite toxic. But again, apparently toxic is alright, as long as it's framed the right way. I guess. I'm still confused.

As a moderator myself elsewhere, I would have asked them to tone it down and be more respectful and civil. And to stick to what the user actually said and not but words in their mouth, if that was happening on that forum. Or the Admin would have said similar if I they caught it before I did. Same with other forums I'm on.