My grandfather died

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Sorry to hear that.

Everyone does process grief in their own way. I’ve read the most about ASD in my family so I’m way more accepting of how some of them deal with deaths in the family than others - some get irritated etc. Acknowledging this, there are some sort of somewhat expected cultural norms surrounding death and grieving. Yours and your family’s and your wife’s may differ, but in general there are some social norms.

I doubt you’ll suddenly want to discuss things verbally with the gf, so, really IMO all you owe her is a simple explanation that you’re wired to internalize these things and just think them over and you simply don’t need or want to discuss them - your grief processing is your own, internalized. Thank her for her concern, though, and let her know it’s appreciated. As for ringing your family members, well, on the one hand maybe they haven’t called you, either.. but I do sort of agree with her, that if you Can & it doesn’t cause you too much distress, it’d be one of those nice social norm things to do.. even a quick call to say “Hey, I heard about grandpa’s passing. Just wanted to ask how you’re doing?” and keep it short and sweet. Might be nice for the phone call recipient And help keep peace with the gf.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Om Nom hugs. I'm sorry that your girlfriend is being difficult about all this.

Well I won this argument with her. I think I lost every other argument I've ever had with her but but I won this one.

When she saw that my mother wasn't in a fit of crying she insulted my mother for not grieving in the correct way (not to her face, just to me).

When she saw that my aunt wasn't in a fit of crying she insulted my mother for not grieving in the correct way (not to her face, just to me).

But when she saw that my whole family wasn't in a fit of crying then it finally clicked in her mind that not one of us is going to mourn in the Chinese way.

I tried to tell her before that western people aren't going to conform to Chinese customs. She doesn't think of them as Chinese customs, she thinks every country has those customs.

I tried to tell her but I guess seeing is believing.

^sounds like normal back and forth relationship stuff most ppl deal with.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.