Heard any good jokes lately?

Post Reply New Topic

"I can't sleep in this storm," complained my wife.
I said "try counting fence panels jumping over the sheep."

An atheist resident on a small island in the Highlands of Scotland, obtained planning permission to build a pub next door to the Presbyterian church.

This enraged the congregation, so every evening they gathered to pray that the good Lord in His wisdom and mercy would never permit the pub to open.

The night before the grand opening, the pub was struck by a bolt of lightning and burned to the ground.

The owner of the bar sued the congregation, claiming the disaster was caused as a direct consequence of their prayers.

The members of the church denied any responsibility.

In court, the sheriff summed up for the jury:

"It’s a very unusual case. It concerns an atheist, who believes in the power of prayer, and the members of a church congregation, who don’t."

cheesy, but i laughed anyway

In space, two aliens are talking to each other. The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons." The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves."

Humanity. There's your joke.

On this website, I think I come off friendly, and I sometime engage with other people.
However, if we were all together in a room, I would be hiding away in the corner of the room.
Then I realized that many of us might be hiding away in the corner of the room.
Then I realized there are not enough corners.
So what would be the perfect room for a convention of Aspies?
Possibly a large, complex maze.

The joke will be fully understandable only for my compatriots, I'm afraid

Why did Kinga https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinga_of_Poland become a saint?

Because Boleslaw https://culture.pl/en/article/8-peculia ... h-monikers was shy.

(Boleslaw the Shy and his wife Kinga took the lifelong vow of celibacy , hence his moniker.)

Q: How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan?

A: You take away their little tiny brooms.