I have agoraphobia. Anyone else?
I have Agoraphobia and Scopophobia. The only time my therapist did "exposure therapy" was to teach me skills for coping in real time when I had to go out. He went outside with me, and even into a shopping mall to see how I'd react.
I don't believe anyone can be helped or cured by CBT or cognitive tricks which are simply imparted to us on a therapy session, especially when we're ASD and we can't outsmart ourselves. It's hard enough just getting to the therapy session so our brains aren't fully engaged in what we're told. People with Scopophobia have the same type of mental block even if they're doing therapy on a Zoom video and not in person.
The anxiety / fear runs deep whether it's related to trauma or not. Some people don't have any known reason for Agoraphobia but they have it anyway, just like they might be scared of spiders or snakes for "no logical reason".
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
If you have agoraphobia and you are managing to go out and work and live your life (even though it is difficult) then you might be seen as a "functioning agoraphobic".
Yes, or a train-wreck waiting to happen.
We aren't functioning just because we do things out of necessity, while in panic mode.
That would be like calling someone with end-stage cancer "functional" if they're alive.
The world can't stop just because we're scared, especially if we have children to raise.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
You've got that right. I can manage without dying if I take someone with me, or I go in the dark.
Otherwise I dread it for weeks ahead of time and it takes me at least a week to recover and reset.
I have to go out tomorrow and I'm so stressed today I can't get anything done.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
If you have agoraphobia and you are managing to go out and work and live your life (even though it is difficult) then you might be seen as a "functioning agoraphobic".
My boyfriend drives me to work and picks me up, being so his shifts are at different times to mine. If he couldn't then I'd obviously have to force myself to walk but it'd take a lot of mental energy (ironically more than physical energy). Actually, when he worked at his old job and was unable to take me to work I went through a phase of booking a taxi because I just couldn't face the streets. But it cost too much money in the end.
Unlike Isabella, I also get agoraphobic in the dark, sometimes more so, especially late at night. It might be because I live in the city and the crime rate actually increases after dark in this city, because it's large and there are a lot of druggies and alcoholics here that sleep through the day and come alive at night, going in and out of bars and becoming aggressive.
I feel safe when I'm indoors.
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Female
Not agoraphobic.
I was dx'd with social anxiety in 2018, which turns out may actually be "avoidant personality disorder" and/or RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria). Plus ASD social deficits on top of that made me feel like a fish out of water all the time.
AVPD (avoidant personality disorder) is basically social anxiety on steroids..... a lot of people who have a social anxiety disorder diagnosis may actually have AVPD.
That said, I am somewhat more used to social situations now than I used to be..... thanks to working customer service, I guess. I still take criticism or any perceived rejection/judgement like a hammer to the knee.
Going in the vein of working customer service.... "exposure" has helped me some. It has to be gradual, it has to be baby steps. Too much at once def can just traumatize you more.
That said, I don't think any one treatment strategy is going to help everyone - "exposure therapy" included. Just like some people find CBT helpful, and some don't. So don't take that the wrong way - I meant it more as a general statement than advice geared towards your situation.
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ASD level 1 & ADHD-C (professional dx), dyscalcula (self dx), very severe RSD. Probably have BPD.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | CAT-Q: 139 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)
You've got that right. I can manage without dying if I take someone with me, or I go in the dark.
Otherwise I dread it for weeks ahead of time and it takes me at least a week to recover and reset.
I have to go out tomorrow and I'm so stressed today I can't get anything done.
I'm better in the dark as well. Always have been.
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we have existence
I feel safe when I'm indoors.
I'd still rather be indoors. Don't get me wrong! I have a dog for trauma therapy and someone has to walk him. I've tried just letting him do his business in the yard but then I'd still have to go out there and clean it up, because I have grass-cutting people who don't want to step on it. I have grass-cutting people, again because I won't go out there in daylight to cut my own grass. It's not very fun looking for dog poop in the dark so I can't clean up overnight.
I don't live in an urban crime area like you do so when I go out at night it's usually (actually always) very quiet. I use a familiar path to avoid cars driving by and staring at us. Actually the only weirdos I've ever encountered were people driving past in a car, and they tried to steal my cat who was following my dog. People know exactly where I'm going and I have GPS trackers but I've already said that elsewhere, I think. It's actually really peaceful out there and I always wish I could do it more often (like two walks per night), but I can't. I can walk him in the day with other people but even then I'm really uncomfortable because of the open spaces but also because of daylight, which kills my eyes.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
Not sure I would even like to walk out in the dark in a friendlier area, but I understand what you mean. Maybe warm summer nights might be OK for me but I just prefer daylight.
Oddly enough, when I had to go to the pharmacy during lockdown to collect our medication, I actually panicked because the street was eerily empty in the middle of the day and I didn't like it. I wanted crowds to be bustling! But I think that might have been due to yearning for normality. Now that normality is back (where I come from anyway) I can go back to feeling anxious about crowds.
It's not exactly crowds that make me anxious, it's the families. I find small children in public places stressful and noisy and unpredictable, and it makes me irritable. And it's also the whole idea of going out, because of my fear of being stared at (Scopophobia). I went out for a meal with my family on Sunday and I didn't feel anxious at all, because I didn't feel like anyone was staring at me even though there were a lot of people about.
I don't know. My social anxiety seems staggered. I think I feel more anxious when I'm alone in public. Also being in busy supermarkets can be anxiety-triggering too, because usually supermarkets are toddler's favourite place to start throwing the world's biggest tantrum, and people get in my way and I get in their way, then I have to wait in a queue to pay. Luckily my boyfriend mostly gets the groceries on his way home from work. I have tried doing shopping online before and I probably would if I lived on my own.
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Female
Ideally I'd rather be in a bit of a crowd than totally alone in a public space, because it's easier to blend into crowds. Neither one is ideal but if I was alone walking through an empty residential / urban area with cars driving around or people watching from their windows I'd feel like all the focus was on me. It's better to have someone to deflect the stares a bit lol, even though I wouldn't want to make small talk with the crowd or think about THEM looking at me.
Catch 22.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
