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I (39M) used to be "incel" like

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ProfessorJohn
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14 Jul 2023, 12:39 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
What do you call someone who voluntarily celibate?


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nick007
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14 Jul 2023, 11:12 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Weight Of Memory wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
What do you call someone who voluntarily celibate?
Are you celibate because you choose to be for religious or philosophical reasons? Celibate.

Are you celibate because you simply haven't found anyone you'd like to have sex with and sex not important to you, though you aren't opposed to the idea of having sex in the future? Demisexual.

Are you celibate because you're disinterested in sex? Think it's gross and unappealing? Asexual.
Are you celibate due to finding other people frustrating to be around & would rather not deal with the hassle of having a romantic & sexual relationship?
Aromantic
Yeah that's the one. Frustrated with people. I'm starting to enjoy being by myself more.
The term Misanthropic might could work as well but you might still like being in a relationship with the right person for you. That's the case with me. Frustrated & disgusted with suciety & the hew-mon species but I can still really respect, like, & love some individuals.


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Weight Of Memory
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15 Jul 2023, 7:30 am

nick007 wrote:
The term Misanthropic might could work as well but you might still like being in a relationship with the right person for you. That's the case with me. Frustrated & disgusted with suciety & the hew-mon species but I can still really respect, like, & love some individuals.


That describes my misanthropy as well.

I don't think anybody who identifies as misanthropic actually hates literally everyone that isn't them.

Anyone who does hate literally everyone needs to commit suicide or mass murder because any other course of action by them is extremely irrational.



TwilightPrincess
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15 Jul 2023, 8:33 am

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Anyone who does hate literally everyone needs to commit suicide or mass murder because any other course of action by them is extremely irrational.

I wouldn’t say that.

A person could hate everyone else and still know that murder is wrong or, at least, imprudent. A person could hate everyone else and not want to die.

I’d be a hermit if I could, but it’s not feasible. I don’t truly hate that many people. I just don’t like being around them that much. Being alone is usually more enjoyable.


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blitzkrieg
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18 Aug 2023, 8:51 am

Weight Of Memory wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The term Misanthropic might could work as well but you might still like being in a relationship with the right person for you. That's the case with me. Frustrated & disgusted with suciety & the hew-mon species but I can still really respect, like, & love some individuals.


That describes my misanthropy as well.

I don't think anybody who identifies as misanthropic actually hates literally everyone that isn't them.

Anyone who does hate literally everyone needs to commit suicide or mass murder because any other course of action by them is extremely irrational.


Hating people in general doesn't mean that a person would be inclined to become a mass murderer. Also, what is rational or not is sometimes based to common understandings of morality, and most people would agree that killing people is a bad thing.

A person might also consider rehabilitating their mentality in an effort to like people more, to make life easier for themselves. That sounds like a less extreme objective than the two you put forth.


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WantToHaveALife
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19 Aug 2023, 5:03 pm

stratozyck wrote:
When I was 20 or so, the term did not exist. But, I can say in hindsight I was exhibiting incel like behavor.

I am married now, with 4 kids and one on the way.

When I was 20, I had just been dumped by my first love, and my brother died the year before. I started a downward trend in mental state that took a few years to reverse. When you go down that route, all people tend to avoid you. If you are into women, you tend to take the "women don't like me" harder than just "guys don't like me either."

I didn't date from age 20 to about age 28.

If I could now, I would go back and tell my past self to enjoy the quiet more. Biology has us all programmed to want to have kids and once that happens your life is f_cked.

Guys, remember that to women, sex means the chance of having a baby and they worry about the guy not helping take care of things. Thats why women want guys with their sh_t together. You would too. It makes sense.

Lotta guys <25 on here that are worried about getting laid for the first time but that doesn't matter. What matters is you get your sh_t together. Thats all.


kind of an early bloomer, but lots of guys have never had a girlfriend by the time they have reached 20



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27 Aug 2023, 1:24 am

stratozyck wrote:
What matters is you get your sh_t together. Thats all.


Very unlikely a person with Autism can get their s**t together. Autistics struggle more in regards to all aspects of life.



WantToHaveALife
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10 Sep 2023, 6:56 pm

i feel i will always feel this way in terms of mindset since i was a late bloomer, didn't have a dating breakthough until i was 29, and first relationship with someone in over a year was at 33, but the former didn't feel like a true relationship