This reminds me, I remember before turning 21 a letter thing come through the post advertising various venues to celebrate my 21st birthday, and it said something like "invite all your friends..."
It wasn't the most flattering thing to wake up to on a Saturday morning, and I got into such a rage because it was a stark reminder that I didn't have friends (well except one friend who was older than me), and I took it out on my mother. I cried and screamed "I hate this f*****g Asperger's s**t!! !" and whacked my head several times, trying to punish my brain for being wired that way. It broke my mother's heart, as no parent likes seeing their son or daughter so full of hate of themselves. I was so enraged and upset, that she began feeling guilty for bringing me into the world. It was that bad. I was going through a very bad time emotionally and just hated early adulthood. In fact, in a way, early adulthood was even more emotionally challenging than early adolescence. Although I was more socially skilled at age 20 than I was at age 13, at least at 13 you're only really expected to attend school, which I did. But at 20 you're expected to have a job (unless you're studying at college or university), and be out partying with friends. I only stayed in college for about 8 months because I didn't really like the academic environment, but I couldn't find a job and I had no confidence or ambitions at all. I was lonely and depressed. It was a horrible time.
30 Nov 2025, 1:13 pm
