Lying

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^I sometimes had that problem as well. One of the reasons I can be a good liar is that others sometimes think I'm a bad one & they are checking for certain signs I don't have when I do lie & am prepared.

I have a very hard time lying to people.

I can obfuscate or prevaricate, and as I child I told some reactive or panic-driven lies of the type Tamaya has described, but conscious misrepresentation causes me emotional and physical distress. I was asked to in a job once and I fell over completely, barely escaped hospitalisation. (That is, asked to on an ongoing basis, and my health collapsed.)

It is very difficult.

Sometimes those of us with ADHD can lie on impulse. I don't mean like a compulsive liar, but I mean like habitually telling white lies to get us through difficult situations that we know may have led to something more complicated if we had told the truth. Then we suffer the consequences that the white lie had caused, even though telling the truth might have led to unwanted consequences too. And this is usually from doing something on impulse in the first place then feeling embarrassed about it or not even knowing how to own up to our stupid acts due to the image of the other person asking why. I guess I need to just say the truth more and if they ask why I did such a stupid thing I should just say that I didn't stop to think, even though you'll still feel a bit pathetic.

It's annoying that an overthinker like me can make such careless decisions spontaneously. I must overthink things that would make me better off if I didn't overthink them, and underthink things that I ought to consider more carefully before doing so.

When I was a child I sometimes told such stupid lies, actually believing adults would believe me. Like when I hid in my brother's wardrobe and then told my family that I had walked into another world in there (like the Lion, Witch And The Wardrobe story). I literally expected them to really believe me, but they just played along, thinking I was just playing a game or something.

Another example is when I was a child I went with my family to my cousin's house, and me and my cousin kept yelling silly thing down the stairs and then running back to her bedroom, pretending to be innocently playing with her dolls house and telling whichever adult came up to yell at us that we knew nothing about the voices that were yelling down the stairs. Did we acrually think the adults were going to believe that?

I can participate in a lie without feeling stressed or guilty - unless I know the lie is hurting somebody more than the truth would. Then I become very guilty and can't bear it. But usually I don't involve myself in those types of dramas.

Lying is hard for me because it feels like there is an absolute truth, even though I know intellectually that this is not so. I think it is maybe related to black and white thinking and possibly explains some of the distress I feel when people hold different views of the same event. A difference in understanding feels to me like a problem to be resolved, because it feels like there is a single underlying truth that should be found out and agreed.

I wonder if allistic people have more of an automatic awareness of the plethora of personal realities that comprise the shared social reality and whether this is related to how easy it is for them to compartmentalise when they tell minor untruths.

Yep, see what harm the "lack of empathy" myth can do, and how many people often take it the wrong way because of it being a rather misleading word?

I knew someone who was desperate for an autism diagnosis because he thought it would provide a more palatable narrative framework for some unsavoury predilections. He was very dishonest and very unkind, I mean in the sense of deliberate infliction of pain and deliberate orchestrated manipulation. I wonder now that autism has become a bit of a catch-all whether there are more like that. (It was always a bit of a catch-all. Now that it is more of a catch-all.)

I can't say I've never lied, but I'm good at it, and I hate it. It's bad enough that I'm supposed to lie and answer "good" when I've never felt less good when someone asks "How are you?" And I almost always forget to ask them how they are, which ironicallys make me sound selfish and with a lack of empathy.

And I HATE it when people lie. NTs lie so much they think you're weird for telling the truth. Or they say they want to hear the truth and when someone says it, they completely rage. They only want to hear the truth if its something they want to hear. But that's just my black-and-white thinking, I guess.

And yet, I don't, how we're not constantly being accused of lying, since signs that someone is lying include not making eye contact, increased fidgeting, and delayed emotional responses.

I can lie and sometimes I can lie well. But I went through severe abuse and some forms of neglect in childhood, and learning to lie could save me from being locked in a room for 2 days straight, or from being beaten until I blacked out....

I lie sometimes when i have to but i hate it when someone asks me do you like my coat but i hate having to say it looks good, but i can just outright lie but i could just say there coat looks bad but then they will either blame me say stuff back tell people i said that or just accept i said that or other. so i dont think that claim holds up.

Seems most often, it takes, much learning as a Certain level of Aspie, to be able to lie.. And to recognize
lying . Sadly. How does lying serve one ? Do Aspies Lie,? Am wondering if in someway the very question Answers itself.
Where do the limits of pragmatism " lie.".? ( just a thought bubble)

The easiest person to lie to is one's self - there's only one person you have to convince, and they already trust you with their life.

The easiest lie to tell is saying "no" when the truth is "yes". Even a child can figure out that if they did something they shouldn't have, that saying they didn't do it is a hypothetical avenue to avoid the consequence. It doesn't take much cleverness to come up with "no I didn't".

Many lies aren't 100% falsehoods - many lies are like 80% true, and just misleading enough to put things in the liar's favor - changing or leaving out key details, downplaying some actions, amplifying others.

Somma y'all seem to be making excuses for y'all's lies, like they ain't lies.