Kid to adult question...is it all worth it?

Post Reply New Topic

ditto

one of the benefits of education is to get into a job you do want to do.

I agree with what a lot of people have said, and education is what you need for a job, so get as much as you can (or can stand getting) because the more qualifications you have the more job opportunities you'll have.

But, don't make your career everything...it is so sad when people do that, then if they lose their job it's terrible for them. Get lots of interests too, if you're AS you've probably got some already. Then you'll be so busy that you won't notice whether or not your kids call

What helped make me feel that life is worthwhile? Art. Visiting art galleries. I suppose it's a matter of finding what makes you feel truly alive. Sometimes it takes a while. Good luck, chinapig.

Follow your heart, study hard, do what you love, and never be afraid to take a different route to everyone else. The path may seem longer and harder at first as it's always easier to follow the herd, but the journey is more rewarding and the destination is freedom to be yourself.

Yes, it is. In the NT world, it is the Brethren. A BS (Yes, bull S$!t) degree means you have tenacity to do something you don’t want to do, but do it anyway because it is proper. Do you want to be fifty working for a 22 year old jerk kid, or do you want to be 50 getting by under the radar?

A degree does not mean you are smart. It means you can start something and finish it. There are more interesting and smart people in the world scrubbing toilets for a living because they did not put out an effort to finish a piece of paper. Remember, Cs get Degrees. Just get one.

I hated college, structure, classes, noises in classes, and having to follow some teacher’s rules. But I learned how to cope with people crunching snacks in class (just like work), I learned to do things someone else’s way even though it was wrong and inefficient (like a boss), and have an opportunity as I age to be promoted among peers, because peers means you have the same life experience and work skills, not a better brain. That just makes you smarter.

People in the workforce who suffered college do not want someone who did not suffer through college to work side by side in spite of being smarter.

You can get a degree without learning anything, it is just about perseverance. These are the ties that bind in an NT workforce.

When I graduated college (and I skipped the ceremony), I swore I’d never EVER go back. I had an opportunity to enroll in an MBA program as a 30 year old instead of a 20 year old and found it more about learning. Two Masters Degrees later, I have a job that actually pays me what I feel is appropriate for my work. I actually USE what was taught to me.

People can take away your dignity, your money, your sanity, but NO ONE can take away your education.

I second that... It's the paper that proves you can finish things, not the lesson that proves that you know it.

Of course, if you're really good at forgery, maybe you don't have to.

Life as an adult can be fun, and I'm speaking as someone who works a 9 to 5 job to support my family. Even people who complain a lot are getting SOMETHING out of their life.

I'm not working in the field which I studied in school-- I'm working in a field that pays more money (finance, rather than visual arts). But that's good because I don't have to rely on what I do for expression to support my life. It makes it more free & authentic. And since I don't take my field of employment that seriously, it's never that stressful.

Hang in there. Read between the lines. Have faith that adults don't aspire to watch TV all day & depend on their grown children for happiness. Some people have depressing lives but some people have a lot of fun.

Work is not all bad. At least it gives you money so you can partake in your obsessions.

Here's my advice:

Think very hard about what kind of person you are. Figure out what you want out of life - not just what you don't want -. If more than one thing comes to mind - which will probably be the case - figure out what your priorities are.

Once you've figured out what you want out of life, assess how you can realistically get it, given your strengths and weaknesses, and given what society will or won't provide for you. You might find that it's in your best interest to lead a conventional life, or you might find it isn't.

To reach your conclusions, you'll need to do a lot of brainstorming, and you'll need to get a lot of help in the process. The fact that you asked your questions on this forum shows that you're already taking the steps you need to take. Well done for that.

As for what worked for me, I'm not going to post it here because it's irrelevant to you. We're all very different; what made me feel fulfilled worked because it suited my temperament and situation, not yours. What worked for anyone who posts here, worked because it suited them, not you. You need to work out your own answers, which will be specific to you.

Don't get discouraged if the task seems too much. Good luck.

No. Many of us Aspies with high qualifications still don't have job opportunities to match, because we don't have the social skills to handle interviews or survive in the social environment of the job, or because we can't handle the job search process. Without appropriate social skills training, and maybe training in organizing ourselves, qualifications are not of much use to us.

Also, once you get too qualified, employers very often don't want to hire you below the level of your qualifications, even if it is a job you would have preferred and been able to do. That's something to bear in mind.



Many of us focus so intensely on our interests that we become oblivious to everything else. It is easy for a parent who has Asperger's to focus so much on their interest that they forget that their kids are there, and maybe, say, they forget to put meals on the table. I'm sure that there are people on this forum who need to regularly remind themselves that they have a potential problem in this area, and that they need to overcome it. These people need to take this problem seriously, not lightly.
I'm talking from experience. When I was a child, my parents - who had AS - often got so engrossed in what they were doing that they forgot I was there. I suffered because of it.
I didn't find your joke funny.

I should tell you that for me, the education was worth it... at least until by now the world had changed so much that relationships (aka pull, graft, fraternity membership, insiders) are now the primary skill for gaining and keeping a job
rather than than the actual skill needed to do the job.

That was back in the mid-70's, when our society was far more of a meritocracy than it is now. Back then, anyone who was 'wierd' but had great skill in a field was simply shunted off into a cube to do the job he or she loved and was never considered for management. Paradise.

Education got me out of a literal hell on earth during my childhood, by which my present difficulties as a middle-aged adult pale against. Both of my parents were abusive. Neither of them would allow me to leave honorably (and honor was important to me because both of them were so completely dishonorable) until after I got a college degree, which I promptly did in the fastest manner possible.

It was amateur radio that got me interested in electronics and computers, and from there into the majors I wanted, and from there I found that writing code came easy to me... and I did my electronics and amateur radio at home.

I never knew I was an Aspie back then... I only knew I was different, and that I had been badly abused, and so I figured the differences between me and other people were cultural not physical.

My problems with career were never as significant as my problems with finding love, but after several tries, I was married to someone who really understood and cared about me. We set the wedding date for my 40th birthday for two reasons: 1) I could never forget the anniversary, and 2) Because she would be my 40th birthday present.

A baby soon came along, and then a few years later, a layoff. I am unemployed now, after a year of trying. I am now a homemaker. I spent 3 years with my little girl at home and I would not trade those years for ANYTHING, however boring it was otherwise. And my little girl taught me a lot about the things I missed. I could literally see how an NT developed firsthand in gradual stages. Right now she is 4 1/2 but functions close to 7 verbally. She can also read simple books and write using phonetic spelling.

I would have to say that education is completely worth it, but however enjoyable it was more of a means to an end rather than an end in itself.. to finally be part of a loving family. Now, if people would only let me work...

The Eternal Squire