How do you talk to or help a suicidal person?

Post Reply New Topic

Respect their feelings, even though they scare you. That person is really feeling that bad. Tell them you may not understand completely but that you believe them when they say they feel awful.

Then ask then what they want to do. Do they want to talk about how awful they feel? Do they want to talk about something else? Or do they want to see a movie and just zone with you? Treat them like you always do--like a friend and human.

The biggest problem professionals have is they have to cover their ass for legal reasons and for that reason, hospitalization is often used, though it's not really effective.

If you can get them to talk, just talk, sometimes that helps. Just to be heard. When I am suicidal, i know it's desperation. I just want someone to hear me and recognize how much things suck. It takes the edge off. Helps me to sleep some, and the next day is a little better. The next day is usually a take stock day. Then someone can help the person decide what to do. That's the critical part, and it's not easy, and if it can't be done, it can't be done, but tell your friend you would like to see him get some help of some kind, or to make a decision how he wants to work on his problems. That's it. Then accept that person's decision as to what they want to do.

I don't know if I'm making sense, but I hope I gave a little bit more usable advice.

Metta, Rjaye

Have you tried being mean and yelling at them for being pathetic weaklings for not being able to take alittle pain and suffering? I dont know this person, but I have gone with the insensitive dick approach and it has worked

I very much doubt that. What is far more likely is that the person you inflicted that emotional abuse on has simply learned to hide their feelings from you so that you wont abuse them again.

That's horrible. If someone did that to my friend like that when he was upset, they would have answered to me. Violently. Such a response is unethical. Why would you tell someone who felt so bad about themselves that they wanted to end their life and call them weak? They already think that they are weak and worthless. They need value, not someone to whip their ass into shape.

I quote someone else's signature:

My family refused to let me develop depression in the first place. There were times where I came close. Not only that, but there were times where even I felt suicidal. Well, I mentioned it to my mom and she got after me for even thinking about it. Plus, there was someone I once knew a few years ago who was quite suicidal. She never spoke about why she felt she wanted to end her life. Now, I know that suicide is pointless and selfish. It will not solve one's problems. But, one of the best ways to talk to a suicidal person is to sit down and have a nice, long, in-depth discussion about it and try to talk that person out of it. It's just so unfortunate that words can sometimes fall on deaf ears, work temporarily, or come up empty.

Thank you all for your continued posts - the advice is really appreciated and I am trying to impliment some of it. Except I would not want to be mean to them - I don't think that will help anything.

I understand that listening is really important and I have in the past sat and listened for hours on end while they cried and told me about the problems and pain. I have done this so many times and it never seems to help much. I try to be as supportive as possible, but I just won't agree with them that suicide is the answer. If I did agree I'm sure they would go ahead and do it. And they say that is the main thing holding them back - the fact that they wouldn't be at peace knowing I thought it was not the right decision. And they keep saying "everyone is trying to keep me alive but no one has any alternative answer to ending the pain". Which is true I guess - I really don't know the answer aside from their situational problems getting fixed or trying some kind of treatment. And there really is no quick fix to the situational problems.

I had thought their new medication was helping but now things are getting really bad again. So I'm really uncertain and scared about what might happen.

One thing I should clarify is that I'm using the term "they" and "them" to indicate only my friend themselves - not their family or anyone else in a collective sense. Their family has no clue about the situation actually - they won't tell their family about it. I guess I am using the term "they" to keep it gender-neutral because it is such a personal situation. If someone got to know me on here they might guess who I'm talking about if I was too specific.

That would probably be enough to stop me being suicidal for a little while...

...of course, I'd probably feel murderous instead.

http://www.befrienders.org/support/inde ... friend.php

I would let the family know as well...this may wake them up enough to cause them to start being more supportive of your friend. Let the police know too, just to be on the safe side. If, heaven forbid, your friend goes through with their plans, then the police will know that you've given it a good effort.

Never say the words, stupid or crazy, to them.

My mother did that to me, a couple of times, and I don't tell her when I feel suicidal, anymore.

And that's what happens. Be a big meanie, and the suicidal person hides it. Then everyone wonders why the person killed themselves, and didn't tell anyone.

Bah.

I hope you have someone to talk to, Rebel, if you ever get to that point again. I'm sorry it can't be your mom.

Metta, and karuna, Rjaye.

they need to get to know Jesus and pray they will get over it

If they're suicidal, then they're well on their way to fast-tracking a meeting with Jesus already.