Oh I'm cursed. Bullying.

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I asked a psychologist this very question (somewhat of an expert on AS, especially in females), and she said it's because I/we was/are "different". The "normal" people can pick up your differences, the minute differences you exhibit; they (the "bullies") don't even know what it is about you for the most part other than innately seeing you as "different" (the group shuns the outsider after all), they cannot read you like you cannot read them; they lash out.

It's not even the genuine "bullies" who bully those with AS, it's usually everyone.

O yeah, and if you lash out physically; expect to be the one to get in trouble, and to be seen as the "troublemaker".

The only person who stopped verbally bullying me, stopped because I nearly killed him.

oh drat you're a girl? Hmm that may change things a bit. What I posted worked for me but I your situation is completely different. Sorry!


One thing I do know is that talking about it to a teacher or counselor does nothing...in fact it sometimes makes it worse. When an adult comes over and talks to the bunch of kids bullying you, they will take it as a sign that you're snitching on them and they'll just came at you stronger but when out of sight of the teachers.

It truly is an issue you need to take care of yourself.

Do you have any friends in class? Sometimes the best defense is to have friends that can help you stand up to them. Stick to them.

There's also the direct approach. Stand up and loudly accuse them of picking on you or that they're perverts or whatever. Do this out loud in class and not only do you make them look like idiots in front of others but also peer pressure will eventually force them to leave you alone and pick on someone weaker.

Finally there's the 'evidence' approach. I always say this but if you have an MP3 player with a recording feature, simply tape them saying all those things about you, go straight to the principal (bypass those idiots counselors and teachers; they are looking after their jobs not after you) and play that tape to him.


Can I ask what is the nickname they are using?


Finally, dont worry much about the grades. They only show your ability to memorize stuff before any test. I was a straight C student all through elementary to high school, yet ended up with one of the highest scores in the test given after we graduate (that universities look at..aka SAT like in the US). Its all about how well you learn the material, not how fast. Focus on that

There are patterns to their bullying. Identify and prepare for them.

There is always the 'leader' of the pack (when they come in 2's or 3's) .. focus on him and the others will follow as they are nothing but people that hang on to the leader for their self-image.

If you have time, study the pack dynamics of wolves. I found them very similar to how these bullies operate.

The alpha - pack leader. lead bully
The beta - usually not present in the bully group. If there is one its usually a girl thats with him just to leech of his popularity.. and her sex places her above the omegas.
The omegas - The 2nd and 3rd bully. They are beta wannabes with delusions of alphahood. As mentioned above, they depend on the alpha for their self image.

As with wolves, the alpha constantly needs to assert dominance..this is done via the Beta keeping the omegas in place or the alpha keeping them in check himself. However the alpha also NEEDS to keep the beta and omega by his side and constant harsh treatment will make them leave or find their own betas and become competition. Hence why the alpha needs to bully others outside his pack to keep his beta and omegas in check and by his side.

that's where you come in. sadly.

So by SOMEHOW making the alpha lose face in front of his pack without directly confronting him (that would be like if you were an alpha trying to take over), this makes the alpha move along to an easier target or risk losing his pack.

humor worked for me .. but you can try other approaches. If you're an aspie you got the brains to think of something depending on your situation and your personal knowledge of those sheeple.


good luck!

I can totally relate to you. I've been bullied all my life (27 years now)

I recently read a book, or, better yet, part of a book, titles "The Asperger's Answer Book" by Susan Ashley. It has a chapter you might like to look at, even though it is written mainly for parents of Asperger's children.

It says something I've found really useful in stating that the way to deal with bullies is to laugh at them (and make comments like you think they're funny). People will harass you because they want to make you upset, and by laughing at them they eventually get angry on account of not getting the reaction they want out of you.

I like to think this way. Bullies will basically point out their flaws when making fun of you, so if they make an insult like, for example, "you're a moron and a wierdo" I like to try to think of it as if they're saying "I'm a moron and a wierdo" and laugh at them ("hahahaha, that's so true" or something like that).

when they start to realize that harassing you is no fun anymore, they move on to and stop harassing you. If they mean it to just joke around, btw, they see you laughing and might like your sense of humor.

Sorry, I posted my reply before I read this part. My fault.

I've worked with counselors all my life. All I can say about the school counselor is that I suggest just being completely open and honest, answering their questions to the best of your ability.

I would also encourage you, yourself, to be prepaired to tell your counselor about your sensitivities, keeping in mind that Asperger's is going to be relatively new to them. Thus I would encourage you to tell them exactly what it's like when people violate each one (ie- talk about the sensitivity to loud noise with comparisons to listening to nails on chalkboard and never being able to tune it out, or pointing out the fact that noises are going to be four or five times louder to you than they would be to ANYONE else). I would also encourage you to talk to your teachers about Asperger's, telling them the same sorts of things.

Keep in mind that their brains are going to be more developed than yours and that you might have to talk about only being able to either let everything run through you like a frieght train or not percieve anything at all.

I hope that helps.

This we all know is hogwash!
It is defiantly NOT your fault!

The worst is the stress this causes is very bad for your grades.

Tell your counsellor/teachers/whoever your not willing to pretend to be a person your not. If others don't like it that is OK but being intimidated is completely out of order, they must be stopped and this kind of intimidation must ceace as it is interfering with your achievements at school.

These people who say things like "Sticks and stones......" have no idea of the cleverness and subtlety bullies use to get under you skin and cause real harm to confidence and self esteem.

Good luck!

))))))))))big virtual hug((((((((((

Schools usually don't take no measures against bullying.

And may I add that understanding how bullying feels when your NOT being bullied is hard? I also think that this suggestion is a good one.

And schools don't really seem to have any measures against bullying, so I also have to agree that they don't understand it.

You could tell the school counsellor about your AS, if he is a capable person he should expect it anyways. You could also try to clarify your sensory issues.

And well your thoughts are not that childish, some children who were bullied still carry the mental or physical scars and that could be compared to some acts of the nazi-regime. Only on a smaller scale and not that physical. At least, that are my thoughts. But it would give a real mess for yourself and others. So please don't! People would not appreciate the link between the events, because people some people are a bit scared about these dark pages in history.

You could also ask someone you trust to accompany you to the school counsellor, maybe to clarify things about you? It is just a suggestion.


But the last few months are bearable, you can oversee this time and that makes it a bit easier. Try to be strong, Sora.

Last edited by Asterisp on 03 Feb 2008, 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

it is about time all schools took bullying seriously. this happened at a school near where i live the other day http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west ... 222183.stm a boy was stabbed by another boy who he had been bullying, but still everyone only worries about the one who has been stabbed. however in my opinion although stabbing was not the way to resolve the situation, the boy (who is now considered the "victim") brought it on himself. surely someone should understand that the boy who was being bullied needs help, needs someone to listen to him. i am not in anyway suggesting you are about to stab the people bullying you, but i think this article just highlights how serious bullying can be, how much it can mess you up & how schools should listen & help you sort your situation out.

Thank you, silver.

Sometimes other people will miss the link that you brought up here, but supposedly the Columbine students did their carnage as a reaction to bullying. At least that's what I think.

The names that get thrown around around a schoolyard will grate on people that can't seem to get away from them, even when they try to ignore them. Eventually, students that get bullied without having the bullying go away will turn violent.

Our primary school (for my Son) takes bullying VERY VERY seriously.

He (and every other student) had to sign a "no-bullying" contract before he could start.

If he ever has problems with bullies, I fully intend to follow up using the contract.

Do you know what the school does about bullies? I just figure that would be important, too.

Actually, I don't....

but I do know that the school drags kids before the principal for lesser offenses than bullying - and that they have absolutely no hesitation in calling parents.

They don't have corporal punishment but seem to make things fit the crime - ie: "fix the problem you created".