Physical attractiveness — a rant

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MaxE
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09 Sep 2023, 10:55 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:

:|

What?

You seem to be jumping to a lot of conclusions based on very limited experience founded on appearances.

Just because we have different cultural values does not make us mean-spirited. Spain is not immune to issues with abusive relationships. Spanish people are not immune to trauma in its various forms.

Quote:

In recent years, about 100 women have been murdered annually in Spain, around half of them by current or former intimate partners, according to official statistics. Among the 49 women in that category in 2022, 21 had filed a complaint with the authorities about abuse or harassment by those partners before their death.

“The lack of protection that women experience comes from the fear they feel when they report gender violence,” said Rosa San Segundo, a professor at the University Carlos III of Madrid and a specialist in gender violence.

She added that women often did not trust the judicial system to protect them because it sometimes failed to take measures like issuing restraining orders or banning visits to women and their children by abusive partners.

The killings by partners are in addition to cases of intimidation, harassment and assault. Between January and November last year, an emergency phone number for victims of gender violence reported almost 94,000 calls, about 7 percent more than in the previous year.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/17/worl ... ir%20death.

That was about specific people I happen to know. I don't think that article says much about Spain in general. You could probably report the same sorts of things happening in any Western country. I'll bet things are far worse in the US. The US has a very violent culture and I'll even stick my neck out and say the culture has become more overtly violent over the last 4 decades but won't offer statistics to back that up or reasons why I might think so, just my impression. But that's really off topic anyway.

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IsabellaLinton
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09 Sep 2023, 11:05 am

MaxE wrote:

Speaking of Spanish people, many of the young women in the families of people we know in Spain are very attractive, have or are pursuing prestigious careers, have a huge degree of self-esteem, and pretty much do what they want romantically. Ironically they are religious in the sense of being conservative Catholics but they aren't Puritanical in the North American sense in fact their culture strikes me as very hedonistic. Pray then party. I think culture can make a difference. Maybe we're just mean-spirited people on this side of the Atlantic.

She’s not from Spain. Her dad is South American. She doesn’t even speak Spanish. She was raised in a strict, Pentecostal, white British family.

I forgot to mention her husband now accuses her of flirting any time she even looks or smiles at a man, because everything she does looks attractive and gets attention.

Fun life?

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TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 11:07 am

MaxE wrote:

The US has an issue with gun violence, but I don’t think it’s significantly more violent in other ways than anywhere else.

Historically, Spain has really struggled with domestic violence, but it’s gotten better in recent decades due to improved laws and greater awareness.

The same problems occur wherever there are people. Your lens is too narrow to say much about Spanish people overall. Cultural differences do not make one group inherently better or worse than another. Just…different. It doesn’t mean that one culture is “mean-spirited” or less-than in some way.

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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 09 Sep 2023, 11:28 am, edited 3 times in total.

TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 11:11 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

MaxE wrote:

She’s had it SO easy. :roll:

People probably think that she HAS had it easy if they don’t know her that well. That’s the point I’ve been trying to make. One can’t know someone else’s lived experience based on mere appearances.

Sometimes a person who is single is better off than a person in a relationship. It’s hard to say unless you are in that relationship.

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 11:28 am

I’m glad I’m old and ugly now.No more ass grabbing and boob grabbing.

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IsabellaLinton
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09 Sep 2023, 11:33 am

Misslizard wrote:

I’m glad I’m old and ugly now.No more ass grabbing and boob grabbing.

My daughter and daughter-in-law agreed they’re happy to be “old” now so men won’t ogle them like when they were 12-14 ish.

MD is 26 and DIL is 24.

How sick is that.

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 11:35 am

^It’s sick and sad.

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TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 11:37 am

I don’t think I was that attractive when I was groped as a teenager but maybe I was in a small way... :chin:

It’s hard to feel comfortable and confident when you are harassed all the time. I was only ever mildly attractive, too. It must be very difficult to be beautiful in terms of catcalls, groping, being checked out in a suggestive way, etc. although I experienced all that stuff as well, especially when I was a teenager or in my early twenties. It probably had more to do with my vulnerability than my physical appearance. I was very timid.

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 11:51 am

The last person that tried to grab my boobs got beat with a stick.
I’d had enough.I whacked them a good one.

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TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 11:54 am

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 11:56 am

^Thank you.
There is always a large stick laying around somewhere just ready to be used.

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TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 11:58 am

I probably should be better about that stuff. My ex is a ticking time bomb.

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IsabellaLinton
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09 Sep 2023, 12:12 pm

There’s a thread on the other forum from a woman whose three year old daughter has attracted the attention of a grown man.

I told her what for about that.

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TwilightPrincess
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09 Sep 2023, 12:13 pm

^ Geez, that's disturbing.

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 12:14 pm

A magazine can be handy.
https://youtu.be/Mc-p22QPA3k?si=qvGd5G1-y7LOD9Lk

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Misslizard
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09 Sep 2023, 12:14 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

There’s a thread on the other forum from a woman whose three year old daughter has attracted the attention of a grown man.

I told her what for about that.

Time to call the police.Predator on the loose.

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