What do you hate the most about having autism/aspergers ?

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All of us have differing strengths and weaknesses. I used to be a serious ultramarathon runner whos' hoping to get back into it. I didn't fit in in team sports and I took to drinking with colleagues when I was about 20, as it helped me fit in. But then I discovered running and hiking, two sports that suited me perfectly and made me happy.

I also took to Scrabble, and just returned from a highly successful day back to back double tournament, securing a good 4th position in both. I love learning weird non everyday words, and that helps a lot.

I would encourage all of us to find where we fit in and are good at, and where we can find acceptance. I have learned so much since my late diagnosis at 45!

I hate that I've been in denial of it for so long, thinking it was my enemy

id say being misunderstood leading to systematic excusion and basically leavign me isolated (isolation being my defining i believe feature of my autism over social deficit, which i see myself as more extroverted and NT's seem asocial to me)

my utter lack of social awareness at points makes me endlessly writhe in pain whenever i realize i've had a moment involving that sorta thing. nobody ever tells me unless they're a specific kind of person and by the time they do tell me they're typically i think pretty annoyed. i generally don't like myself socially so that doesn't help either, i guess.

1. Making me oblivious to social rules, not talking enough or too much. I've solved the too much part by limiting how much I talk.


2. Always feeling like I'm about to be yelled at or corrected for every little thing. It doesn't happen much these days but the feeling is still there.

3. Obsessing over things and excessive worrying about stuff I can't control

4. having nothing in common with most people, at my interests are a bit odd or they are intense that if I start talking about them, it might scare people as I know so much about them. It's nothing bad I assure you.

5. Having to mask and/or script a lot of things socially.

The sound sensitivities can be soul-destroying, because it makes you sound like an inconsiderate jerk even though you're not. NTs seem to have the capability of only being disturbed by unnecessary sounds but can tolerate or even filter out sounds that are out of anyone's control, such as a baby crying or somebody coughing loudly. With me it's an issue when a baby cries or somebody has a loud cough. I live with a compulsive smoker with COPD and his coughing and constant clearing of throat can really agitate my nerves.

Also people seem to think that by explaining why these normal everyday noises occur will make my noise sensitivity with those sounds magically go away. I mean I KNOW why these sounds occur but knowing it doesn't prevent me from feeling disturbed by the sounds. I try to be patient but sometimes impulsivity gets the better of me and I just have to express my frustration.

It must be wonderful to be NT where you can switch off your startle response to necessary noises but then if an ADHDer laughs loudly near you it's suddenly sensory torture and you put your finger in one of your ears and yell "ugh, why are you so loud? It hurts my eardrums!"
I wish a person with a manic laugh was my only sound sensitivity.

Ouch! constantly clearing of the throat and sniffing always make me want to crawl out of my skin. I worked with a guy who TBH I believe was very likely on the spectrum and had Tourette's. Not the yelling type but he had facial tics and was constantly clearing his throat, luckily, I didn't have to work around him much but after 2 minutes of it I wanted to run away screaming. Thing was the guy likely may not even have known he was even doing it.

Around where I live, there are a lot of motorcycles and cars with loud exhausts that go by a lot, just an awful sound.

The fact that I can't work full time and also take care of myself.

I hate it that people are still telling me what to do and how to do simple things all the time, and yet when I *do* want to know how to do something they *don't* tell me.

For example I have family members who think I have no clue how to use an ATM even though I've been doing it on my own for over two decades now, but they couldn't tell me how to figure out what others are thinking or feeling, have conversations without saying something stupid without knowing it, how to cope in a world where we have a new catastrophe every five minutes, and so on.

Severe executive dysfunction.

Although the social deficits are a close second.

It's like being half-retarded, with the insight to understand how it impacts my life but no ability to significantly improve things.