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I wish I could manage a barbaric yawp but I know it will never come close to what I hear in my head

Apparently neurodiversity doesn't just mean autism. If that's the case, I'd be quite comfortable telling people I'm neurodiverse.

Can self-CBT help manage obsessions? I mean I know obsessions are what drives most ASDers to love their condition, to me they feel like a burden that overtakes my brain and then causes fluctuating emotions, from sheer happiness from reading something I want to read related to the obsession, to suicidal depression when reading something I don't want to read related to the obsession. I mean is this the same for every ASDer's special interests, or do mine sound more typical of ADHD obsessive behaviour, where it's more about addiction, impulse, and attachment?
Last year, while not an obsession, I was addicted to posting on a forum where I was repeatedly criticised and picked on (for posting stuff similar to what I post here, meaning nothing too triggering or offensive), and I was also addicted to posting on public Facebook posts then getting upset by the trollish replies I sometimes received. Those urges are now replaced by obsessively being unable to stop myself from researching about a current obsession.

With me, these sorts of things will only go when they pass, and no practise of self-discipline or willpower will help. For me, obsessions are like colds; sure there are remedies to help manage symptoms of a cold but really the cold won't go until it has run its course and so you don't really have much control over when it will pass, it'll just pass when it passes. It's exactly the same with obsessions. I can easily tell myself not to keep asking the same set of questions on AI search engines knowing it's doing me more harm than good, and I might even be able to stick to it for a day or so. But then I gradually ease myself back into the habit again without really realising - a bit like when there's a chocolate cake in the larder that you pick away at, knowing tiny amounts being gone won't be noticed, but before you know it you have made a giant chunk in the cake that will be noticed. So it's the same with an obsession, after a day of not researching anything of the kind I suddenly get a burning question and think "right, asking this one tiny little question in the search engine will not do any harm, I just can't think of anything else until I have got answers", and before I know it I have gotten myself into a web of questions and answers, until I'm once again angrily calling AI a deceiving bastard that should be destroyed by mankind. Then I'm back at square 1 again.

I'd love to live a life where I'm not prone to having obsessions.

Even though I technically enjoy my long term special interests to the nth degree (hence special interest), obsessing can be exhausting at its peak, I know exactly what you mean. All I want is for my brain to change the channel sometimes, but it literally refuses. I want to be able to care about more things so I can learn more things, I have to trick myself into doing so by making it about my obsessions or interests.
It's embarrassing when I can feel myself making a conversation about my pet subjects, I inject a reference here and there and even though I'm aware I'm doing it I can't STOP either. If I'm talking about films with someone I'll inevitably compare everything to planet of the apes and/or avatar for example. I'm a one trick pony. I can't even mask it.

I definitely ruminate over a small question or thought and repeat it in my head forever and ever and lose sleep over it. I feel like bashing my head against a wall when it gets really repetitive. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with this trait. It can be a source of fun and comfort and a source of despair at the same time.

There's a video of me and my old friend when we were teenagers, just hanging out together in his room. Last time I watched it I counted 3 references in the space of about 20 minutes. At one point he told me that his nana had just turned 75, and my reply was that Jane Goodall was (at the time) 76, nearly 77. Not at all related but my brain associated any old woman with Jane Goodall. On the video I could see my face smirking as I said it because I was cringing at myself.

I just learned and was shocked to learn that when pointing out someone's mistakes with good intentions, if you ignore their feelings, it can easily be misunderstood as an attack, thus straining the relationship.
The thought that I've only discovered the tip of the iceberg regarding similar rules terrifies me.
Society is too bad.

ND is making sense and pushing technology, while NT only care about themselves.
I almost have some hatred.

I wanted executive function so I can be free from this boring story that is my life.

Not because of comfort of others and conforming.

I want executive function so I have more control of my life and live more intentionally than just whimsy or reason.

Not because of using that control to show I'm "redeemable".

I want executive function so that I can regulate, 100%, by and for myself.

Not because others not needing to adjust to me and feeling like I bother them. They never had to and I don't want them to.

I want executive function so that my own autism is 100% my own business.

And nobody else's. Not my family, not my friends, not the society's. They don't have to know and I could care less about them. My autism is mine not because shame or stigma of what others think, but because they're disappointing and do not deserve to know of my world.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Joayo!

Continuing king:- you say Joe
The Beatles in Abbey Rd might say:-
Here comes the pun king.....

I decided to age disgracefully and enjoy myself until I burn out.
To that end I finally started getting tattoos.

Now I have a skincare regime. What the...?

Today WP said it had to check to make sure I was human and not a robot.

As a robot, I found that very offensive.*beeps*

I confronted a rude assistant at the grocery shop today. Was it my natural autistic frown responsible for that? Masking is not my thing. It is exhausting.