Is it an Aspie trait to NEED your own apartment?

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I stopped living with other people in house share situations when I was about 22. My romantic relationships in life would have been more successful if I had been aware of my need for personal space. I now live with a child full time, have done for 12 years, and it's tricky to work out my need for solitude. It's easier to sacrifice space for my own child than it would be for other adults. We have also worked out our needs to the point where we are usually respectful of one another.

I have a relative coming to stay with us from overseas for three weeks and I'm quite anxious about it even though the relative is awesome and wonderful. Having someone in an established, autistic space (complete with our routines) is going to be a real challenge for both of us.

I think it's fantastic that you're not taking this stuff personally, OP. I think that response is highly unusual and it seems to indicate you truly do love this fella. It's super to read something positive about relationships on WP. I think as long as he is also thoughtful about your own needs and you are communicating these things to one another, you can't go wrong. I'm sure people will judge but that's people.

I don't think I could ever permanently live in an apartment. Assuming I was living alone, I would much rather have a small, cottage style house in a forest area with lots of nature, hiking trails, and quietness that is also reasonably close to the shore. I like having space so I can do the things I like doing and seeing the beauty in the world which could never be seen in a concrete jungle.

I dream of what your husband has, every day. I cannot get my own place so I imagine being in my own single room apartment by myself, surrounded by silence. I guess I should be in a cell somewhere.

I finally have my own room, I need space of my own to recharge myself.

The ideal situation would be to live next door to someone that I care about. It is hard to be around someone 24/7 because I am always conscious of the other person, whether I'm giving them enough attention, whether they are happy with me, etc. Living in a separate space takes that anxiety away (I've always had difficulty even being in the same room with someone for an extended period due to the same 'fish bowl' effect. I feel very self-conscious). I am not married nor have a significant other but understand the need for space.

>>Hyper-Connected Autistic Brain<<

There are too many sensory receptors in the Autistic brain.

The overload of incoming sensory stimuli constantly overwhelming the brain's ability to process, creates high levels of anxiety.

The presence of other people adds complex sensory stimuli, including nonverbal social cues, taxing the nervous system even further.

Solitude and repetitive routines help keep unscripted surprises (and resulting sensory events) to a minimum, thus keeping the overload at more manageable levels.

Short answer from here, too, is YES.

I'm coping with having my room at the moment - I'm determined because it's my third long term relationship and I am intending to make it work. If this one does not work out (meaning if I can't bear even the presence of my current ultra-understanding and ultra-accommodating husband) then it means I do need my own apartment, not just one room …

I think it is. Both my husband & I are Aspies yet are affected by it in very different ways. I have a lot of difficulty with time management and maintaining a schedule. I often have trouble sleeping & like to stay up late. Our home is very tiny & has no room or place to get away. He is much more rigid & likes order so living with me feels chaotic to him. We are considering either having another living space or me doing travel work (short 13 week assignments) in which I am given a place to live for work. This situation has been very confusing for me & hurtful. He did build our home (literally by hand & it took him over 10 years) so it is likely me that would have to take the other space.