Are men with aspergers effeminate and women tomboys?

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I am biologically female but have never felt female, more masculine/genderless, this manifesting in my mannerisms and interests. This is why I consider myself nonbinary and have done so for many years pretty much since discovering that nonbinary wasn't just a thing confined to my mind only.

I strongly identify as male, though I was born otherwise. I have masculine interests and I'd die to have a body full of muscle. I also don't like being called female prefixes. I got very sick of being called those prefixes, so I bought myself something that I've always wanted. A German "Schultz" helmet. People stopped calling me feminine things, and they no longer tell Dean that his little wifey is following him. I wish that I would have bought the helmet 7 years ago. It would have made a big difference in the way that people saw me back than.

I don't have an official diagnosis of Aspergers, however it runs in my family and after 7 years with my Aspie son, I don't think there is a link here. My son would fit the stereotype of effeminate and plays with dolls, likes pink and purple, rainbows, hearts and wants to wear makeup and play dress up. He has even asked why he can't grow up to be a woman instead of a man. My Aspie brother is neither ultra masculine or mildly feminine. He's just.... him. As far as I go, I dressed tomboy is when I was growing up but more because of a dysmorphic view of my body so I wore baggy jeans and tshirts. In reality I'm an extreme girly girl I'm just not high maintenance... I'm more natural, no makeup, bear foot.. but I would wear dresses 24/7 if I could and I'm obsessed with jewelry and shoes (with sensory issues of having shoes on my feet that cover my toes... I just make myself uncomfortable to be cute). I also love to crochet and dance and my favorite color is purple. I'm also the female in my relationships and it's my NT girlfriend who is boyish.

You can't really apply an 'all' label to people with autism. We're each very different. Yes, I'm very masculine for a female but I've met female aspies who are not.

As an individual I think people would describe me as very feminine, physically. I've always been a bit annoyed by the nonsensical restrictions on what I apparently should and shouldn't like based on gender. I don't know if it's frustrated me much more than it has the average woman though, and I was very girly in a lot of ways when I was younger. I'm too scatterbrained and casual to have a kind of slick, stylish look though and you'll never get me browsing clothes shops or spending ages putting make up on.

I only knew of one other person with autism in real life -- he didn't present himself in a feminine way but he definitely wasn't a macho kind of person. Actually, no, I was vaguely acquainted with one other aspie guy. They were both sort of in the middle... into art, music, radio presenting, writing etc.

Some people find my appearance feminine, as well as my gestures, and others, I think, do not. I have been told that some find my speech feminine, in that my voice is not loud. I am not a dominant, aggressive person, yet I have a great deal of staying power. My difficulty is acceptance in the LGBT community, as the traits of aggression and dominance seem to be what is most desirable there. I do not especially desire to be a "dues paying-card carrying member" of LGBT, but I would like to meet and become friends with other gays, especially in my general age group, and being with LGBT seems the only way to make friends (and more) with my own kind. Any ideas?