Fear of death

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What a wonderful discussion. I've participated in in-person groups from time to time called "Death Cafes" - opportunities for any and all people without a vested interest in selling something to come together for a couple of hours over coffee and cake and talk about ... death. Not bereavement support or counseling - more a chance to contribute to reducing the cultural phobia of the topic that we are surrounded with.

Which is why I LOVE this sharing - and long may it continue.

Esme, thank you for the courage you have shown in sharing, in the hope that it may help others. It can be such a challenging thing to do. Wouldn't it be wonderful if others reading this thread could find it within themselves to consider sharing too.

You could say that my 'special interest' is the implications of what happens when people lose their fear of personal annihilation.

It's not so much the fear of death that gets people, but rather a fear of the implications of what comes next. The only thing we know is that our story ends, the world will keep on turning without us, and will continue to do so. Anything beyond that is down to one's beliefs, because there really is no way for any living person to know what happens beyond this life.

Others fear not death itself but losing themselves along the way. That's where I'd put myself. My grandfather had Alzheimer's during the final 10 years of his life before he passed away, and considering my father is also on the spectrum as well as me, I'm just hoping that neither of us have that kind of future to look forward to. On one hand, I know that if I were to have Alzheimer's in my future, I would remain blissfully(?) ignorant of the fact; however, the idea of losing awareness of myself and loved ones is an unpleasant thought, to say the least.

When it comes to the prospect of inevitable death, even at age 42 (at the time of writing this), I've embodied my personal feelings in a quote from one of my middle-aged fictional characters, Rodney Rococo, who (in my "The Reckoning of Gheldrynn" story) makes the jesting comment, "You either die young or you live long enough to wish you'd died young." While that is meant to partially be a joke (that's just how Rodney's character is), I've just witnessed - in my own life and observation - that as we age things are only going to become harder and living a long life rarely ever means a long and happy one...unless you're one of the rare lucky people who find a secret (that isn't a form of delusion) to remaining happy in their elder years.

When I die, I think I'll have a case of FOMO. And finding out what happens next. What will happen to the human race after I'm gone?

I had ECT in 2005/6 and I learnt that after the seizure, the brain flatlines on the EEG for a few seconds. I had eight sessions and every time there was nothing.

So if there's nothing when I die then that's not too bad. It could be worse. Burning in hell for eternity or something.

I will be in heaven with no earthly worries.

Well your Dead. Nothing more to be said.
No stuff, No worries , possibly no conciousness ...All your earthly thoughts most likely will be in off mode.
When the book ends and you close it , There is nothing more to Read.

I consider myself to be agnostic, so I'm not really afraid of being dead, as I will presumably no longer exist, but I worry sometimes about how I might die, the thought of dying a painful death scares me.

I fear death. The only time I don't is when I'm having an Emetophobia anxiety attack, as I just wish I could die before vomiting. Otherwise, I am scared of death. I'm even scared of having a nuclear bomb dropped on me. People say that it ain't that bad because you just die too quickly to know anything, but if you knew a nuclear bomb was going to strike any minute it'll still be really scary. Sometimes anticipation is scarier than the actual thing.

When I used to get stuck in unwanted debates online, it sometimes gave me bad dreams when I went to sleep, very realistic dreams about an apocalypse, where I'm anticipating death but it's taking a long time to happen and I'm frightened. Not sure why arguments online would trigger dreams like that for, but it did.

The fear of being/seeing/feeling nothing seems overblown and silly. I didn't exist before
I was conceived and gestated. What I fear is leaving behind unfinished business and a mess
for my loved ones to clean up.

It's best keep an open mind, a healthy dose of cynicism but not think too hard about spirituality.

I find the poem "Desiderata" quite comforting, and the book "The Desiderata of Happiness" is an easy relaxing read.

P.S.
I have absolutely no connection with this book and absolutely no vested interest in the subject.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s another level of existence.