Family reaction to adult AS

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Mine doesn't think so either ATM; I wonder sometimes myself.

But then I get her telling me that I have never shown any empathy to anybody, never show my emotions, I'm too resistant to change, that I need to get over my social fears, etc. etc. Add that to how much discomfort I feel whenever I force myself to make eye contact, and I am - at least for a time - convinced that I have AS.

It's sort of a flippy-floppy thing. It'd be a much easier conclusion if I were worse off (not that I really want to be, I'm just saying).

I actually had two encounters with trying to tell my family. I first suspected AS in myself about a year ago, and was also very concerned about my nephew. I tried to broach the subject with my mother, and she just cut me off with "You're fine". I dropped the subject, but I was still very concerned about my nephew. A few weeks later I wrote my sister an email confessing my AS suspicions, and those I had for my nephew. She wrote a polite but negative response, but said they'd 'keep an eye' on my nephew's behavior. (I told my husband I suspected something, and he agreed about my nephew, but we didn't talk about the possibility of my own AS too much.) At this point I started to doubt my own suspicions again, and let it go.

Recently, after throwing my back out (again) and cutting my hand open during my stimming in the same week, I decided to think about AS once more. I began doing more reading, and lurking around the forums here. My suspicions became certain enough for me to decide to contact a therapist for the first time in my life. My husband and I began talking again, and he began reading up on AS himself, and a lot of my behavior clicked for him. I also (very nervously) approached my mother again. She was much more understanding this time around, and was very supportive of my seeking a diagnosis (which is fortunate, because the therapist asked me to bring her to the session). I'm not going to bring it up to my sister again until I've had a diagnosis.

Well i first told my wife as a throw away coment in an e-mail (i was away from home, still am) and i think she missed it entirely which isnt unusual for her. Then i really spelled it out and she went and looked it up, her response was "yea, thats you alright"... guess i'm pretty lucky. She also pointed out that i had got a lot better than when she first met me.

I was interested how my mum would take it, not due to her being ingorant about the subject but the opposite, she actually works in a school for very autistic kids and has done since i was about 12, i was anticiapting a guilt ridden "how could i have missed it?" response.

My wife who is very close to my mum made the whole point moot when she told her on monday (no i wasnt very happy about it) but from what i'm told of the conversation it quickly turned to my dad and the fact that he also has some pretty wierd traits.

Again, maybe i'm lucky, maybe she knew all along, will have to see when i get back in a couple of weeks and talk to her.

I must be one of the lucky ones as well. I've received nothing but support from my family, all of whom responded with "Oh, this makes perfect sense."

I've been married 10 years to the only girl I ever really dated. I didn't know about AS back then. Due to our strict religious upbringing, we never were involved sexually or "lived in sin" before marriage. So you can imagine the hard times we've had, with my AS combined with the high expectations we had of God after "striving for purity" in our courtship. Nothing we tried seemed to help. Ironically, my wife, when at the lowest points of confusion and despair about me, would say to me, "You are emotionally autistic!" Then earlier this year, I was diagnosed with AS. It was a welcome relief to my wife and I to know that I wasn't trying to be difficult. We have a long way to go, but the diagnosis gave us another avenue to explore, after it seemed all hope was lost. It sometimes saddens my wife that I don't enjoy the friendships and full emotions of an NT person, but it helps her to know that this is "how I'm wired."

As for the rest of my immediate family, they too have been supportive and even grateful to finally understand why I was the "unique" one in the family. We have even told a few of our very close friends (OK, they are really my wife's friends). This has also helped as most of our friends have witnessed me in various meltdowns. They seem pleased to understand me better, and it has even brought a little levity at times.

Perhaps having a professional diagnosis by a psychiatrist has helped, and also the fact that I am on medication for comorbids like ADHD. Maybe this does lend a bit of credibility.

ive told my family... they seem pretty open to it....

my mom is a total loner... doesnt even really interact with my dad... actually, i think my dad has latched on moreso to this concept, than my mom... after growing up and seeing how they interact and not understanding why they didnt (dont) have a happy marriage... i think my dad is noticing alot more. too bad they're both really old and have grown so far apart.

When I told my mom I think I my be AS sepctrum, she replied that she thought she had all sorts of illnesses (:roll:) when she was my age too. When I pointed out that this is the only time I've ever brought up anything regarding any psychological condition she ignored me and kept insisting that I wasn't anything. My family is nuts anyway, so it's no big surprise.

when i told my mom that i was going to get investigated for AS (both my psychatrist and psychologist and i suspect it), she went "oh no, you dont have it... i heard a radioshow about it, and it wasnt you". i got angry when she said that, because, she's my mom, she could be like a bit supportive? (AS is not a black/white-diagnose, it's a grayscale with alot of colours) and if i get a diagnose, will she accept it? (and if i do, i really dont care about what she says) she hasnt been diagnosed, but i can see alot of her behavior going aspie-wise.

havent told my father though, but he has always seen me as the "weird kid", he wouldn't see it as something strange. :p