slightly serious relationship problems

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How good you have been has nothing to do with how good he has been, and will be. Don't put up with it, you deserve better than that.

(hugs PLS)

Tim

thanks..

I feel so trapped here right now. All my stuff is here...I have nobody to help me move.

I have so much crap to sift through....I am such a hoarder....but I am an emotional basket case...it is hard for me to do anything.

It iwll be a long and complicated process extracting myself from this place....and meanwhile all he does is emotionally blackmail me.

He just blames me for being so stinking monogamous....

I feel so stupid...

If I wasn't clear across the country I'd drive my truck there tomorrow and help...and bring lots of brownies. (I'll tell you the brownie story some day when you're feeling better)

You didn't do anything wrong...and this isn't YOUR fault. Someone needs to grow up and it isn't you.

I moved back home the first time mine started his crap...40 + car loads...in a rusty old VW Golf...had the rear end almost setting on the tires and crap sticking out of the sunroof. I could have had help but didn't know how to ask anyone, didn't think I knew anyone well enough to ask that of them...I just figured it was my problem and I would deal with it. I was sooo angry I just backed the car up to the back porch, opened the hatch, and started throwing stuff in.

Took me two weeks...then I was sick for over 3 months afterwards. Think hard, I bet there are some you can ask for help...it's too much for anyone to tackle alone, you need help.

{{{Hugs}}}

Please don't leave us....

You're one of the few that are sooo funny, and interesting, and creative ....

Tell Flakey to grow up, and realize you're a treasure.

If he won't, I'm sure someone else will.

Flakey thinks all women are treasures...even 19-year old cokehead prostitutes who manipulate him, leave bloody scratch marks all over his arms, drain his wallet and compulsively lie.

Speaking of suicidal impulses, last night i had a meltdown where I went and tried to jump off a bridge...Didn't succeed it was too dark..I couldn't see the water and i didn't want to hit the trees. They had to chase me and then wrestle me into the car.

Sometimes I think I must have borderline personality or something.
i am feeling ok now..
but there are times when the self-destructive thoughts just repeating themselves over and over.
mY future seems so bleak at the moment.

[quote="poopylungstuffing"]we have been trying to talk things through it but it just gets worse and worse.
He thinks that having sex with other people is trivial..but he would rather sacrifice me than give up that option...all the while telling me tht his life would fall apart if I left him...

He is so manipulative. I just don't understand.
now, this may sound harsh, bear with me.

From what i have read, Flakey sounds like a real bastard. I cannot believe he would have the balls to actually disrespect you like that and bring that piece of trash around. Of course sex with others is trivial for him. he's not the one its hurting. You dont deserve to be treated like this. It doesnt matte whether you have gained weight, turned 32 or anything else. He doesnt deserve someone as nice as you. It sounds like he is getting the most out of the relationship and leaving you the crumbs. If it is gone, then make it and yourself gone. Dont put yourself through that kind of mistreatment and abuse, yes.... abuse. He can obviously live without you, because he sounds like he is living it up already with you around. You are not garbage and you are not a doll to be played with and put on a shelf.

I dated someone who was manipulative and needy once... you just have to get tired of it and have enough. Once you reach this point of not giving a damn anymore, he has no power over you. Just remember that you are worth much more and a lot better treatment. This almost sounds worse than living with your parents... then again i dont know that whole situation either.

you deserve bett3er.

Thank you....i mean everybody...I really appreciate all the support....I am sorry that I am never there to offer words of encouragement in the haven....it is not that I don't care about the plights that others go thorugh..it is that I never know what to say.

I am sorta in emotionally detached "spock" mode right now...

where I am actually sorta in a good mood...but once all the people go away, and I am just left there with Flakey...that is when things will get bad.

He is dealing with the whole thing by taking alot of drugs.

I have sorta been drinking alot...

Everytime I talk to him it sounds like a recorded loop.

(we running a venue and him working the door...I saw him making eyes at a cute young girl wearing a pretty skirt and funny rubber boots.)...he was first attracted to me becasue I was unsusal and eccentric....seeing him make eyes at this girl made my kinda sick..but otherwise I have been doing ok tonight....have actually been qute social and pleasant with everyone...
I can be once in a while....

i am so sorry to hear this

i've had it up to here with my own manipulative person........

feel like kicking some manipulative ass..........

where u live? wanna exchange, make the whoopins less personal?

and you shouldnt feel stupid

THAT'S the thing i resent most in my situation...

Thats a great success story, brightened up my mood a bit
It will probably never happen to me.. I feel like Im gonna be alone forever

But anyway, I cant relate with this exact story poopy, but I can certainly relate to your level of loss, and I know how hard it is to get over. Cause you start thinking "but maybe theres still a chance" even if there clearly isnt. The emotions and attraction is still there and you dont want to let go, even though you know you should. Sometimes it takes me years to get over situations like this, even if the "relationship" was only a week long or something. Im not obsessive Im just too sensitive about certain things, but one thing I know for sure is that a LOT of the wounds heal once you find someone new. Ive said it to people before but no one takes me seriously I dont really get that. I dont know where you go usually, but if you can go there to meet new people maybe someone will give you a chance You never know. I mean, when your ready anyway.

I have been managing..I have to....

I am still feeling the spock-like detachment most of the time..it is a whole lot better than feeling emotional pain...


but little things can still really set me off sometimes.

also I have not been able to sleep or eat.

That's the way it can be with me when I experience grief...it will feel like I can't feel anything...but there will be these residual effects....

I am not feeling particularly sad at the moment, but all food tastes like cardboard and I can't bloody sleep!! !

I was gonna post another thread, but I figured there is plenty room on this one...I am trying to get over this as quickly as I can, but it is hard. Flakey and I are getting along.
He says he does not want to see the teenaged trollop anymore....but I can't get back from this deep broken hearted depression feeling..and I wonder when I will start to feel better again...Flakey always gets off easy with me. I have difficulty expressing anger....that is why he likes me so much.....meanwhile i am stinking miserable.....it keeps coming at me in waves.
I am trying to drown myself in neglected housework and whatnots....
I keep twisting everything around in on myself.
I feel very lonely
and it totally sucks.

Once the cut is made it tends to leave a scar...

I understand totally...I CAN forgive almost anything, forgetting has always been the problem...the crappy memories, the words said in anger...that's always the crap that comes back to haunt me and make me miserable. The same memory that memorizes lists of numbers also never seems to let me forget any of crap I want to forget...although I have no problem forgetting where I left the car keys.

I've always admired people that you know have been through the wringer and they have the resiliency to forgive AND forget.

Keeping busy is good...it helps, anyways it always has for me. Do some things you've been wanting to do for awhile too...a little self-gratification goes a long way sometimes. Might not make you forget...but makes you feel alot better.

{{Hugs}}

Yeah...the same weirdo-intuitive thing that i have has been kicking my ass in the memories department too.
My gullable "take people for their word" inclination is what allowed me to brainwash myself into not being constantly suspicious of them...
Honesty and loyalty don't seem to be worth a bag of beans in this world.

Doing better today..it goes in cycles.