Funny, corny joke thread

Post Reply New Topic

After a few hours of this, Kong took a lunch break.

Where do pirates get their hooks?

A ghost tapped me on the shoulder, from behind.
I ignored it, no matter how much it persisted.
Finally, the ghost spoke up. "I get it! Now stop impersonating me!"

What do you call a telescope that smashes into a microscope?

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

I am Ohm of Borg. Resistance is voltage over current.

I was always told that after I throw a boomerang I should either more or be ready< I never understood that.

Until it hit me.

_________________
Ya, I'm weird like that...

Customer on phone: My internet router isn't working
Customer service: Okay, which lights are on?
Customer on phone: Just the living-room and kitchen lights

People say that red meat is bad for you, but I think it's a lot worse for you if the meat is blue or green.

On one island, a visitor asked a local about his ex-girlfriend.

The reply went something like this: "We don't have ex-girlfriends around here. It just isn't our turn any more."

How do you know if Kier Starmer is lying?

When his lips move.

How many seconds are there in a year?

12

That lollypop lady makes me cross! I cross.

(Only Brits will get it)

My doctor keeps pestering me to get my flu shot. I told him I don't need it because I got rid of the fireplace last week.

This is a short video.
The journey to the actual punchline is good.
The actual punchline fits this thread

Q: Why are cats so good at playing video games?

A: Because they always have 9 lives!