What Ifs Only

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What if there was no such thing as saying the phrase What If?

What if TheMachine1 was never born?

What if The Church Of Garlic was never invented?

What if Saskatchewan, a province in Canada, accually had Daylight savings time?

What if I could kill someone just by blinking at them?

What if I went the way of the Routemaster, because I deserve to do so?

What if my depression could go in an instant?

what if a long time ago. Like, maybe around 1337 (lolmg!) CE, someone. Wait. It was Mr. T. Yeah, Mr. T, he got some ninjas together, they were his homies. Anyways, the ninjas were totally hardcore gangstas from Mars who fought for justice across the universe. They formed a coalition called the ninja coalition of awesome judgment and justice, or the NCAJJ for short. Anyway, these guys were totally hardcore. Until Robot Jesus came along and started a reign of terror on the land!! ! Chuck Norris. Wikimarkup? Wikimarkup? With the wiki and the markup? Why back in my day we didn't have any of that kind ofOH LOOK A RANDOM, UNRELATED IMAGE OLOLOLOLOL but seriously jesus is our lord and savior. Now where was I? Oh yeah! Robot Jesus had this gun that could fire crocodiles that burst into flames, which were radioactive and a nightmare to keep clean. In an alliance with the Zombie Pope, Robot Jesus enslave the Earth, under the alias of L. Ron Hubbard, who was a robot. Anyway, Jesus and Zombie Pope used microwaves to hypnotise everyone into thinking that the world was actually only 12 years old, and that every twelve years, it destroyed itself and restarted from scratch. Funny story. World War II didn't happen at all. It was all a mass LSD hallucination because the Zombie Pope lost a shipment of his magic happy muffins which collided with the sun, showering the populace in its hallucinogenic goodness.

Anyway, Zombie Jesus. Or was that Robot Jesus. I forget. Anyway, they were totally doing all this crazy s**t until Mr. T's band of elite ninjas showed up. The ninjas fused with Mr. T, and together they became Godzilla Buddha, whose powers caused Jesus and the Pope to soil themselves. Wittgenstein would later describe the entire affair as "an unpleasant misappropriation of justice."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

What if we wrote right to left instead of left to right?

What if all people accepted each other for who they are and not wht they are ?

What if a million people in the US joined the Amish, and refused to put up with modern society??????????

What if I lived to be 150?

What if Disney Studio had gone broke during the 1930's ????

What if I turn into Austin Powers?

What if America hadn't won the Revolutionary War and we were still a British colony?

What if my mother had missed that first date with my father and they never ended up going out and consequently I was never born to be here, 25 years later, typing this what-if scenario?

What if, instead of being carbon-based lifeforms, we were all neon-based?

What if it was no longer necessary to sleep?

What if our species died out instead of Neanderthals?

What if nobody had ever decided to invent comfortable furniture?

What if... GASP... the internet had never been invented and all we could do with computers was do word processing and play games?

(Actually, it should be "What if DARPA had decided that it was OK if computers didn't connect to one another?"


What if Monica had washed her dress?