Twisted takes on well-know platitudes

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31 Jan 2015, 1:31 am

Don't shoot the messenger.

Instead, tie up his hands and feet, and lower him upside down into a vat of cold rice pudding.

Feyokien
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31 Jan 2015, 3:15 am

If life gives you lemons, you should probably give up cause the best you can manage is a lemonade stand.

eric76
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31 Jan 2015, 3:16 am

Out of sight is out of mind, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Syd
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31 Jan 2015, 1:19 pm

If you don't have anything nice to say, type it on the internet instead.

ThetaIn3D
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02 Feb 2015, 2:19 am

The early bird jumps the shark.

VegetableMan
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04 Feb 2015, 12:22 pm

Turn the other cheek, then blast 'em with a round of seam-ripping flatulence!

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What do you call a hot dog in a gangster suit?

Oscar Meyer Lansky

Feyokien
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04 Feb 2015, 1:59 pm

Slow and steady gets you left behind

LivingInParentheses
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16 Oct 2015, 8:19 pm

Do unto others as they have done unto you.

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BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39

Drake
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16 Oct 2015, 8:34 pm

Where there's a will there's a wake.

Home is where the hate is.

LivingInParentheses
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16 Oct 2015, 8:47 pm

Once bitten, twice disinfected.

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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39

Fnord
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16 Oct 2015, 9:05 pm

"Proudly Made In The USA ... by robots that were made in China."

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The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.

LivingInParentheses
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18 Oct 2015, 7:42 pm

When God closes a door, you're pretty much screwed.

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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39

Fnord
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18 Oct 2015, 7:51 pm

"In God We Trust ... all others pay cash." -- Jean Shepherd, American Humorist

Rudin
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18 Oct 2015, 7:53 pm

A bird in the hand is worth 2 dollars at the grocery store.

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"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider

LivingInParentheses
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18 Oct 2015, 8:13 pm

When life hands you lemons, get some vodka and have a party.

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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39

KyleTheGhost
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09 Jan 2016, 1:17 pm

He who laughs last. . . does not get the joke.

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I am Ashley. My pronouns are she/her.

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