Can having feelings for fictional characters destroy

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Mona Pereth
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22 Jul 2023, 7:37 am

Back to your original post:

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
any chance of having a real human relationship?

I have already mentioned on here how I am attracted to Mickey Mouse, SpongeBob SquarePants and Mario but I want to know if this romantic and sexual attraction will get in the way of me finding REAL love?

It might, but it doesn't have to.

Almost everyone has sexual fantasies. There is nothing inherently wrong with having sexual fantasies. The only way that they can become a barrier to real relationships would be if you get so fixated on them that they become a standard that you judge your potential real-life partners against. As long as you fully accept the reality that your real-life partners are going to be different from your fantasies, I see no reason to feel guilty about your fantasies.

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
The therapist is helping me learn how to find love however I have yet to tell her about SpongeBob SquarePants & other characters because I fear her reaction

Unless your therapist is extremely naive about sexuality, I wouldn't expect her to have much of a reaction. As I said, almost everyone has sexual fantasies, and you are far from the only person who fantasizes about fictional characters.

One could even argue that fantasies about fictional characters are less of a threat to a real-life relationship than fantasies about real-life acquaintances. After all, it's not possible to have a real-life adulterous affair with a fictional character.

EDIT: If the main issue is merely that you feel you are spending too much time on your fantasies, then the answer isn't to feel guilty about your fantasies, but rather to spend more time on thinking about more productive things, like ways to increase you chances of finding a compatible potential partner.

For any given topic X, spending time worrying about spending too much time on topic X is just another way of spending too much time on topic X. The answer is to find other, better things to think about.


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Mikurotoro92
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22 Jul 2023, 1:01 pm

Maybe giving up Mario and SpongeBob SquarePants is what has to be done then?

If my fantasies of these 2 fictional characters is getting in the way of me finding love and compromising me finding & marrying a partner then that is not a good thing at ALL!

Anita was right

I think she just wants the best for me and wants to see me succeed



Nekomonster
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22 Jul 2023, 2:40 pm

The problem with giving up things for any reason, at least in my experience, is that the following thought process is "Okay, I don't have this/am not doing this anymore, everything should just get better now, right?" But ultimately whether you're fantasizing about SpongeBob and Mario or not, it won't increase or decrease your chances of having sex or getting married. You have to have a more thorough action plan than that, which should probably be done with a therapist.



Mikurotoro92
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22 Jul 2023, 8:18 pm

What kind of "action plan" do you suggest I create?



Mona Pereth
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23 Jul 2023, 7:37 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
What kind of "action plan" do you suggest I create?

The point is to figure out how to maximize your chances of finding a compatible potential partner. For example, what kinds of places could you go to so as to have more of a social life with the kinds of people you want in your life?

Perhaps you might find it helpful to brainstorm this here on WP, as well as discuss it with your therapist?


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MaxE
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23 Jul 2023, 1:12 pm

I would like to think any sort of online dating would work for the OP, but more likely something more traditional like OK Cupid rather than an app like Tinder. Unfortunately, I can't claim to know from experience as I have been married since way before OLD came into existence. She might want to consider being receptive to PMs from guys on WP. Some guy showed an interest but he lives too far away, but others may be close enough for the occasional in person visit to be possible. But I think she should begin by just talking to guys who might be interested without too many preconceived expectations. Most of those conversations won't go anywhere but we all have to start somewhere.


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Mikurotoro92
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01 Aug 2023, 12:15 am

Lol my therapist said it's okay to fantasize about SpongeBob SquarePants and other fictional characters but she wants me to start finding real men to date and eventually marry!