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Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual?

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SkinnyElephant
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29 Feb 2024, 7:13 pm

Both on this forum and on other forums, I've noticed quite a few asexuals on the spectrum.

I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out asexuality is more common among people on the spectrum than neurotypicals.



funeralxempire
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29 Feb 2024, 7:19 pm

MaxE wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


well people and society promote and say that physical intimacy or sex is a normal healthy part of a relationship.


Yes, it's typically a part, it's not the entire purpose.

I think the overall level of intimacy is relevant, not just if you've had sex. A f**k buddy isn't necessarily more of a 'girlfriend' than someone you've partnered with but never f****d.

People like to discredit the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, and to want to shame people who desire partnered sex but no access to it. Especially if one wants to think they had enough in their own life and it was no big deal.


I'm not sure if it's shaming someone to remind them that sex isn't the pass/no pass test of being in a relationship with another person.


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SkinnyElephant
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01 Mar 2024, 8:18 am

You're right. Sex isn't the pass/no pass test.

However, it's a bad idea for sexuals and asexuals to be in a relationship. Even if sex isn't the *only* point of a hetero/bi/homosexual relationship, a sexual individual will never be happy in a relationship with an asexual.



Jamesy
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01 Mar 2024, 8:21 am

I don't desire sex as such but I like it when a woman sits on my lap (which rarely happens) :P



WantToHaveALife
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08 Mar 2024, 7:28 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Did the person you were in a relationship tell you that they were asexual from the outset?

They should have if they were getting into a relationship with you, I mean, it doesn't take a genius of forethought to conclude that it might be an issue for another, heterosexual person in a relationship to have no sex ever in that relationship.

It is reasonable to expect sex after some time in a relationship, but obviously you are not entitled to that and the partner you are with would have to consent.

Discussions and communication should be had early on about that kind of thing in any kind of relationship where there are expectations of sex.


didn't find out until later on, thats why i kinda feel reluctant to call her an ex-girlfriend



funeralxempire
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08 Mar 2024, 8:49 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
You're right. Sex isn't the pass/no pass test.

However, it's a bad idea for sexuals and asexuals to be in a relationship. Even if sex isn't the *only* point of a hetero/bi/homosexual relationship, a sexual individual will never be happy in a relationship with an asexual.


I agree.

But a disappointing relationship is still a relationship.


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WantToHaveALife
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11 Mar 2024, 11:17 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
You're right. Sex isn't the pass/no pass test.

However, it's a bad idea for sexuals and asexuals to be in a relationship. Even if sex isn't the *only* point of a hetero/bi/homosexual relationship, a sexual individual will never be happy in a relationship with an asexual.


I agree.

But a disappointing relationship is still a relationship.


yes but many people say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship



Mikurotoro92
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11 Mar 2024, 11:55 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
You're right. Sex isn't the pass/no pass test.

However, it's a bad idea for sexuals and asexuals to be in a relationship. Even if sex isn't the *only* point of a hetero/bi/homosexual relationship, a sexual individual will never be happy in a relationship with an asexual.


I agree.

But a disappointing relationship is still a relationship.


yes but many people say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship


Well they aren't wrong

Sex and intimacy is what separates a romantic relationship from friendship!! !



WantToHaveALife
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12 Mar 2024, 12:51 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
You're right. Sex isn't the pass/no pass test.

However, it's a bad idea for sexuals and asexuals to be in a relationship. Even if sex isn't the *only* point of a hetero/bi/homosexual relationship, a sexual individual will never be happy in a relationship with an asexual.


I agree.

But a disappointing relationship is still a relationship.


yes but many people say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship


Well they aren't wrong

Sex and intimacy is what separates a romantic relationship from friendship!! !


yeah, thats why i feel like she wasn't a true girlfriend, or i feel very reluctant to call her an ex



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23 Mar 2024, 11:46 pm

I am not asexual but I do not have much interest in sex. This makes things difficult for my marriage sometimes because of course my wife wants to know I love her and a big part of love is sex but I honestly feel more connected to her when we are just simply holding hands or when she gives me a sweet smile. I am a fairly handsome man and so I never had much trouble attracting women when I was dating but the sexual aspect of it has always caused problems- I just don’t like to physically be inside of someone. It feels invasive to both individuals. I just want to snuggle and hold hands.



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27 Mar 2024, 9:08 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Did the person you were in a relationship tell you that they were asexual from the outset?

They should have if they were getting into a relationship with you, I mean, it doesn't take a genius of forethought to conclude that it might be an issue for another, heterosexual person in a relationship to have no sex ever in that relationship.

It is reasonable to expect sex after some time in a relationship, but obviously you are not entitled to that and the partner you are with would have to consent.

Discussions and communication should be had early on about that kind of thing in any kind of relationship where there are expectations of sex.


and why am i not entitled to that? why is a person not entitled to sex?



TwilightPrincess
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27 Mar 2024, 9:15 am

People aren’t entitled to sex because it involves another person. No one is entitled to someone else’s body. Even in relationships, our bodies are our own, not someone else’s.

If you’re incompatible with someone, it’s better to respectfully end the relationship than to expect or demand something they are unwilling to do.


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blitzkrieg
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27 Mar 2024, 12:52 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Did the person you were in a relationship tell you that they were asexual from the outset?

They should have if they were getting into a relationship with you, I mean, it doesn't take a genius of forethought to conclude that it might be an issue for another, heterosexual person in a relationship to have no sex ever in that relationship.

It is reasonable to expect sex after some time in a relationship, but obviously you are not entitled to that and the partner you are with would have to consent.

Discussions and communication should be had early on about that kind of thing in any kind of relationship where there are expectations of sex.


and why am i not entitled to that? why is a person not entitled to sex?


Having an attitude of being entitled to sex, is why a lot of rapes occur. Not to be nasty or anything, but you shouldn't be asking questions like this at your age.


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27 Mar 2024, 1:18 pm

Entitlement really only applies to business or legal relationships where each person agrees to fulfillan obligation. A romantic or sexual relationship really has nothing to do with entitlement. Having said that, letting someone know that's an important thing you want out of a relationship is something you might want to address fairly early.


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WantToHaveALife
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07 Apr 2024, 10:28 pm

yeah, unfortuneately, even though it fills me with anger and resentment, it helped me learn my lesson to make sure i'm compatible with someone sexually early on before pursuing a relationship with them.



Mikurotoro92
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07 Apr 2024, 11:43 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Did the person you were in a relationship tell you that they were asexual from the outset?

They should have if they were getting into a relationship with you, I mean, it doesn't take a genius of forethought to conclude that it might be an issue for another, heterosexual person in a relationship to have no sex ever in that relationship.

It is reasonable to expect sex after some time in a relationship, but obviously you are not entitled to that and the partner you are with would have to consent.

Discussions and communication should be had early on about that kind of thing in any kind of relationship where there are expectations of sex.


and why am i not entitled to that? why is a person not entitled to sex?


Because sex and intimacy has to be EARNED first

It should be treated as a reward for you and your partner!