Neighbors and our landlords REFUSE to help us out!! ! Why?

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Why would getting married not make a difference?

The only reason Cathy would need to help us set up Uber is because she holds on to most of my money otherwise I know how to do that 100% on my own!

Learning to drive is the key to this entire thing but like you said actually doing it will be a MAJOR jump in difficulty!! !

Although, I can successfully maneuver an E-scooter through grocery stores and I took Driver's ed in high school so maybe I might truly be ready to get behind the wheel...

Why is Cathy in charge of your finances? Have you been told that you are financially irresponsible? Some examples could be: impulse spending, poor budgeting, getting into debt.

I think the other members have a point in saying that you probably might need the supports that you are already provided. I also think it's probably time for a new support worker, Cathy doesn't sound like a very nice person.

I mean who knows, maybe you've been wrongfully infantilized by your parents and the system. Perhaps the high level of supports given to you have stunted your personal growth as an adult. It's not uncommon for Autistic people to be underestimated in their abilities to their detriment. I have had similar experiences throughout my life.

Anyway, just some of my thoughts.

CFL

You hit the nail on the head @Canadian Freedom Lover!! !

That is EXACTLY what is happening!

I have been infantilized for so long that when I try to act like an adult with desires for grown-up stuff like marriage, parenting, driving a car etc I get laughed at by neuro-typicals!!

All of this, including why my brother didn't get a new game from me for Christmas this year is 100% Cathy's fault!! !

Maybe she really has suffocated us?!?

The good news and silver lining in all of this is that David wants to move possibly to the apartment complex we WERE going to move to before Cathy cancelled those plans...

Well...it is time to prove EVERYONE who has ever doubted me or my abilities wrong!! !

That means:

It's time to get married, have children, AND learn how to drive!

But the absolute first thing to do is to find a way to get rid of Cathy!! !! !!

The way to do that is to prove to her that I can achieve 100% full independance by doing that very thing I mentioned above...

I think you're making a mistake.

Sometimes the hands that seem like they're holding you down or holding you back, are actually the only thing holding you up in the first place.

Earlier you indicated that if you got rid of Cathy, but needed something done, you'd just get David's sister to do it for you. But in that case, you haven't grown up, you've just replaced Cathy with a new servant. And why does David's sister owe you anything?

You do realize that anything you need other people to do for you, means you're reliant on them to do it, and therefore they have control over you, whether you like it or not. You can't be an independent adult, if you still depend on others for basic things.

It seems to me that your idea of "independence" is people still doing things for you and taking care of you - but also letting you do whatever you want, and they just have to keep supporting you no matter what. All of the freedom, none of the responsibility.

Doing "adult stuff" isn't what makes people see you as an adult - taking responsibility and doing things on your own is. People don't go, "oh, you have a job and a husband and a car and a kid, CELARLY you're an adult, doing such adult things!" - people look at how you handle your affairs - do you handle them yourself? Or do you need someone to do everything for you?

Are you saying I must break my dependancy on Cathy and others in order to become 100% fully independant?

Sort of.

I'm saying that simply getting rid of Cathy is probably a mistake. You probably get more support than you realize, and if you outright got rid of her, there's a good chance of you suddenly finding yourself in more trouble than you can handle.

Even with Cathy there to assist you in whatever manner she does, that doesn't stop you from still doing certain things of your own accord. It just means instead of asking her to do it, find a way to do it yourself - or do as much of it as you can for yourself.

Earlier you blamed Cathy for your brother not getting a game he wanted - but if I recall correctly, it was also a game that you wanted, and were trying to come up with ways to save up money for it. Rather than expecting Cathy to make it happen, you could have still saved up for it yourself - but you gave up that idea the instant you heard that someone else would do it for you. Trying to save up for things yourself, even while Cathy still helps take care of you, is a sign of independence. You don't have to get rid of her to find ways to be more independent.

Your comparison between driving an e-scooter around a store and driving an actual car on the road leads me to believe that you don't really know just how difficult it is to do "adult" things like driving a car or having a kid.

Where does your money come from? Who pays your rent? How do you eat? Can you cook?

Because they're not obligated to do so.