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Oh I'm cursed. Bullying.

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morning_after
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06 Feb 2008, 4:32 pm

Dantac wrote:
I cannot suggest a solution for anyone since every case is unique in its set of variables. I can only say that the person that is being bullied has to be the one carrying out the solution not someone else doing it for him.

A bully only wants the gratification of having power over someone and the recognition he gets from his peers / classmates (be it good or bad recognition, some thrive in being 'bad boys', some just like to show off their power).

Removing the gratification the bully feels and deny the external recognition he gets for picking on you/your kid is one solution that is permanent and will give you/your kid a solid foundation to stand on for any future issues..in school or life or the workplace. He will be able to stand on his own.

Its like an equation. The reasons for the bullying are the only constant. You/Your kid is the variable. (if that makes any sense).


So it's all up to the kid. That makes sense.



Dantac
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07 Feb 2008, 1:00 am

Ultimately that is correct. I'm not saying 'ignore his problem' or 'let him solve it on his own' just saying that the kid IS the one that has to be taking action not the parents nor the school.

I think that the best thing a parent can do for these situations is to let the kid know that you acknowledge the problem he is having and help him prepare or plan what the kid needs to do.

enroll him in martial arts. enroll him in school events that can increase his social standing (sports, music, arts ..anything that brings positive attention to him from his achievements), teach him social dynamics and how to identify and use them to his advantage (aka the wolf pack / peer visibility dynamic).


For girls the issue is more complicated since from what I know their bullying is more of the verbal and emotional kind... which is worse in my opinion. That one I have no idea how to handle..maybe some of the WP ladies here can help.



morning_after
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07 Feb 2008, 1:22 am

Dantac wrote:
Ultimately that is correct. I'm not saying 'ignore his problem' or 'let him solve it on his own' just saying that the kid IS the one that has to be taking action not the parents nor the school.

I think that the best thing a parent can do for these situations is to let the kid know that you acknowledge the problem he is having and help him prepare or plan what the kid needs to do.

enroll him in martial arts. enroll him in school events that can increase his social standing (sports, music, arts ..anything that brings positive attention to him from his achievements), teach him social dynamics and how to identify and use them to his advantage (aka the wolf pack / peer visibility dynamic).


For girls the issue is more complicated since from what I know their bullying is more of the verbal and emotional kind... which is worse in my opinion. That one I have no idea how to handle..maybe some of the WP ladies here can help.


And I think any of the events that the kid gets involved in need to be ones that they want to be involved in. It doens't make sense, for example, to try to get them involved in basketball if they don't like playing it.



Dantac
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07 Feb 2008, 6:42 pm

yup. no need to whip him either.



morning_after
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07 Feb 2008, 7:36 pm

But someone might need to whip the bully :lol: