Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Sudden reservations and doubts about marriage

Page 5 of 5 [ 73 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Previous topic | Next topic

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

01 Nov 2025, 7:48 pm

nick007 wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
But I can learn the skills needed to take on the challenge of caring for him, right?

After all, I had to take care of my mom for 3 years which was hard but I survived!

I just don't want to throw all of this away!! !
I may be wrong but I thought you kind of resented feeling forced to care for your mom. It would majorly s#ck to start resenting David. It's a very crummy situation for the both of you.


Yeah I did but I made it through that ordeal

Marriage is supposed to be lifelong and having to do that for the entire duration of David's life would eventually take a toll on my well-being and self-esteem!! !

I have truly found myself between a rock & a hard place...



cyberdora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2025
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 3,159
Location: Australia

01 Nov 2025, 9:44 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Marriage is supposed to be lifelong and having to do that for the entire duration of David's life would eventually take a toll on my well-being and self-esteem!! !

I have truly found myself between a rock & a hard place...


that's why this a trade-off, between your love for David and the inevitable toll this relationship will have on your long term wellbeing. I would take David's feelings with a grain of salt as he has everything to gain from marriage so the final decision should be yours and yours alone.



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

01 Nov 2025, 10:34 pm

cyberdora wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Marriage is supposed to be lifelong and having to do that for the entire duration of David's life would eventually take a toll on my well-being and self-esteem!! !

I have truly found myself between a rock & a hard place...


that's why this a trade-off, between your love for David and the inevitable toll this relationship will have on your long term wellbeing. I would take David's feelings with a grain of salt as he has everything to gain from marriage so the final decision should be yours and yours alone.


Buh...I don't want to make the choice...



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

01 Nov 2025, 11:20 pm

Wait a minute...are you saying David is trying to manipulate me into getting married?!?



cyberdora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2025
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 3,159
Location: Australia

02 Nov 2025, 2:51 am

I don't want to guess his intentions without knowing him...but...his behaviour with his last g/f and his desire to get married now seem to point in one direction.

I'll give David some leeway, maybe he is driven by love but I can't help think hope is another motivational factor and maybe relief when you say "yes".



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

02 Nov 2025, 3:14 am

cyberdora wrote:
I don't want to guess his intentions without knowing him...but...his behaviour with his last g/f and his desire to get married now seem to point in one direction.

I'll give David some leeway, maybe he is driven by love but I can't help think hope is another motivational factor and maybe relief when you say "yes".


I too feel like this is strange based on his behavior with previous girlfriend and sudden desire for marriage but like you said I will give David some leeway until proven otherwise!! !



cyberdora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2025
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 3,159
Location: Australia

02 Nov 2025, 3:24 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
cyberdora wrote:
I don't want to guess his intentions without knowing him...but...his behaviour with his last g/f and his desire to get married now seem to point in one direction.

I'll give David some leeway, maybe he is driven by love but I can't help think hope is another motivational factor and maybe relief when you say "yes".


I too feel like this is strange based on his behavior with previous girlfriend and sudden desire for marriage but like you said I will give David some leeway until proven otherwise!! !


Best of luck :)



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

02 Nov 2025, 3:46 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
To me the number one requirement for getting married is complete lack of doubt regarding the decision, which implies that one expects to be in that marriage for the rest of one's life. Otherwise forget it.
I'd actually be worried about anyone deciding to get married who does not have any doubts at all, especially if they never lived together first or have not been known each other a very long time. I've known cases where one or both supposedly did not have doubts & expected their marriage to last tne rest of their lives. Things became abusive after they got married & they eventually got divorced after feeling very unhappy & trapped for years. I've also seen real life murder shows where one person was completely sure when they got married & they did not really consider divorce after things started getting bad till them or their partner eventually reached their breaking point. I think having doubts about any major decision including marriage is normal & means the person is trying to be cautious & practical instead of making a rash decision. That said, thinking too much can lead to over analyzing & makes things very confusing for the person & their potential spouse. Being very confusing & telling your relationship partner contradictory things is a good way to lose your partner, especially if the wedding is called off after some arrangements have gotten made & some non-refundable money was spent. It's better to discuss doubts & fears with your partner before wedding plans reach that point.


People like my neighbors Phil and Anita got married after knowing each other for a VERY LONG TIME so I'm pretty sure they had 100% total confidence in the marriage decision!! !

However, my situation is different

David and I have only known each other for a year or year-and-a-half so the confidence to get married isn't completely there, hence the ambivalance!


And my other neighbors Glenn & Maureen dated for only 2 years before getting married but I might actually need more time to determine and ascertain whether marriage is TRULY the correct choice for me...



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,080
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

02 Nov 2025, 3:47 am

cyberdora wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
cyberdora wrote:
I don't want to guess his intentions without knowing him...but...his behaviour with his last g/f and his desire to get married now seem to point in one direction.

I'll give David some leeway, maybe he is driven by love but I can't help think hope is another motivational factor and maybe relief when you say "yes".


I too feel like this is strange based on his behavior with previous girlfriend and sudden desire for marriage but like you said I will give David some leeway until proven otherwise!! !


Best of luck :)


Thank you