I hate my life...

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I'm going on vacation in Idaho for a week.
I wasn't even even asked if i wanted to go. I feel I'm at the bottom of the family totem poll. The past few weeks I've been suffering angry outbursts and crying spells.

I hate my enviornment i'm in. I'm 38 and parents are in thier mid-sixites. I also have a 90 year old grandmother with dementia. I am also live in a town that has NOTHING for adults with aspergers. The closest is either Richmond or Northern Virginia. I'm sick of my parents' taking crap about my generation and that the world's ending, etc.. "Old People Talk". I feel I'm nothing but unpaid hired help and live to serve them. I feel isolated, alone and cornered. I feel my life is a waste of talent. I WANNA LEAVE THIS %^&$ HOUSE!! ! but i have nowhere to go to. There is no apartment in any area that rent for $200-300. I feel helpless.

I wanna go places - do things - but I'm too tired or broke to travel anywhere.

I don't know how long I can survive...

I can understand. I just wish I wasn't trapped either. I also question my ability to excel, within unfortunate circumstances. I wish there was a way out. Have hope though.

Try to keep an open mind. There are places in Idaho that are absolutely beautiful. You may end up having fun in spite of yourself.



Have you thought about starting a group where you are? It would take some effort, but odds are, you're not the only one who feels this way.



There is an unavoidable truth--prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will grow old, and when you do you'll talk aboout how when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.



I'm sorry about your grandmother, but as much as you complain about your mom & dad, at least you still have a mother & father. My dad died when I was 21. My mom back in '02. My mom suffered through a spell of dementia before she passed. It's really hard to lose someone you care about a little bit every day.

It may seem harsh, but not everything is about you. Don't try to make it about you. You've seen where your life is heading, so you can change directions if you want to. but things are not going to happen simply because you piss & moan about how bad your life is. You need to get in gear & be proactive. Look into going to school, (financial aid anyone?) maybe relocate to be closer to a support group. I know everything's easy when someone else is doing it. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

thank you for your honest replies- especially shodowboxer for help me see it from another angle.


One of the great things about being an aspie is having the guts to tell the truth, no matter how brutal .

You've got the wrong kind of username for someone who hates their life.

It's pretty common that adult children who are 'damaged' in some way or unmarried will end up having to look after the old folks, I had both my parents dumped on me by my siblings when they were in their final illnesses. You're not alone in that experience. Some people like it, I didn't.

Glad to be of help. Seriously, I didn't mean to be "brutal", but I've found that if you look for the bad in a situation that's what you find. As Mr. Spock wuold say, "There are always possibilities..."

I guess I was brought up differently. My parents looked after me when I couldn't take care of myself, so I owed them the same. It wasn't easy though, I gave up opportunities for school, travel, relationships, but that was my choice.

I guess the real test of a choice is "Would you do it again, knowing what was going to happen?"
In that regard, I'm OK with it.