Any tips for asking out or interacting with waitresses?

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It seems that the few times I do get out of the house (other than work) is to go to a restaurant to eat. Every now and then there will be an attractive waitress that I get and I'm interested in interacting with. I know they act nice to get bigger tips, but I believe they're still human and if they're single, they might be interested as long as I'm not rude, obnoxious, crude, etc (or maybe if I am those things, I don't know). I'm sure they get hit on all the time, especially if they're attractive, so if anyone has tips to get them in a conversation, I'd appreciate it. Other than the typical food related questions they ask, I typically don't know what else to say.

Well, I'm under the impression they get hit on often, but I can't see why asking is a bad idea, especially if you get to know them a little. I'd reccomend at least showing up once or twice and really not coming on too obvious, one of the hardest things about these social situations is that her peers are watching and she might lose face if someone asks her out in the open, it may be better if you just have her off to the side or something, but I have no experience on the matter, just a careful approach thought out.

Oh I got that one down. Baristas, not waitresses, but it should work the same. You need to be discreet because the staff are often not allowed to flirt with guests.

If she seems cool and interested: pay, take your receipt, write your number on the back, and then give her the receipt back, point at the number and tell her that you got someone else's receipt by mistake and if she would please take it. She'll get the hint and won't get in trouble with the bosses.

If she doesn't call... oh well she wasn't interested or was already taken.

oh, joy! more men hitting on you when you are trying to work. Just because we are available and smiling at you, remember we are professionals that work hard to be personable for our tips and if we were able to get a job that didn't include being constantly hit on by strangers, we would.

and all the lonely shy men ran away and hid again

Oh joy! More women complaining about men daring to find them attractive...

Only joking I agree with you that it's worth bearing in mind that waitresses (and waiters, of course) and the like are *paid* to be friendly to strangers that in real life they would cross the road to avoid.

And if you already "don't know what to say" to somebody, it doesn't bode well for any meaningful connection, does it? Surely the idea is to form meaningful relationships with people you at least have something to talk about with? This may not apply to meaning-less relationships, of course.

Yes, waitresses get hit on a lot and they very often don't like it. They aren't allowed to be rude to customers, but they're at work. Maybe find a group where the women are enjoying leisure time and or there is a high chance that they will be looking to be approached (such as a pub?). It'll take a lot of the guesswork out of it.

They do indeed flatter for tips and are nice because it is their job, but if you really want to maximize your chances, time is your friend. The more they see your face (because they see a lot of faces during their normal work day), the more likely they are to start getting interested. No guarantees, of course, so be prepared for nothing, but hope for something. Btw, the principle at work is called the "exposure effect" -- Wiki article on this here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_effect

I believe in that, I think it's worked for me in a different kind of situation.
But in a romantic sense - please be aware that hanging around at a woman's workplace and trying to talk to her can make her very uncomfortable. It may even be seen as a creepy thing to do if you're doing it consistently and watching/talking to her/them a lot. Just a neutral word of advice.

heres a plan:

get there early, preferably before opening hours, that way shell know your really into her

then stay the whole time, grab any oportunity to chat w her and stuff, such as when she walks past you.

when shes finished, follow her out to the parting lot or bus station*, and give her a little note w your phone number coded into a poem, then return the next day and hit that thang!

*if shes on her way home on foot, follow her and when shes about to stop in front of an entrance, hurry and pass her the note!



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Seems an expensive way to get a date. going by Bill's method, And ofcourse if the one you do hit on eventually isnt interested, you couldnt really hit on the other waitresses.

And isnt it universally frowned upon not to hit on barmaids/waitresses and such like?

Oh, don't get me wrong -- I totally agree with you and activebutodd that it's not a great idea, but if the OP is determined to do it, might as well do it right and know the odds are slim.

But you never know how things might work out, or where you might meet the person of your dreams. Life is very random sometimes.

OP -- just don't put all your eggs in one basket.

This sounds like a good way to get a harassment or stalking charge against you. Following her home, very bad idea. Showing up before opening hours, that would likely make you seem desperate, and creepy. Though maybe this has worked for ZEGH8578, I'd be curious of the results of this action plan if he's actually tried it.

Bataar, unless there's a specific girl that you actually like that happens to be a waitress don't go after waitresses. They're so used to being hit on and flirted with that you'll just be another faceless customer in a crowd. Don't try to pick up these girls where they work. Find a social event, some place where they're not trying to make a living.

don't know about waitresses, but I worked as a bartender for many years and I loved it when indecided customers would let me make them cocktails of my choice. they were always satisfied, I was happy I could prepare something fun and unusual, then they would ask me what was in it and what usually followed was me giving them a very detailed recipe of preparation

so I guess "take an interest in their work/passion and show appreciation" would be my advice.

Woah!! !! This is not intended to apply to relationships, otherwise there would be no such thing as a "divorce rate"

PS Please DON'T follow waitresses (or anyone, really) home! It's creepy, not seductive

Last edited by ManErg on 23 Jul 2009, 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

*chuckle* :]