the depression is about to set in again...

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i always see it coming, and i think thats the hardest thing, i know im on the brink and theres nothing i can do about it, its just about the scariest feeling i have experienced. as a self diagnosed aspie, i am aware of the things which make me "abnormal" to other people and unable to fit in with the world, but i feel so utterly helpless to change these things about myself, i wish to god that i could, but the helplessness is unbearable and at times like this i have no hope, and the depression sets in again, when i can see no way out and the thing is, i can see it coming and i dont know how long its going to last this time, i dont know what i can do to help me through it.

I don't know what your views are on this, but have you considered anti-depressants? They're a great help to me (doctor-prescribed of course). I know this because I had a little breakdown a while back when I tried to reduce the dose (won't be trying that again). Of course, your coping method/treatment is your choice, and if you have the personal conviction/strength to get through it on your own, then i respect you in the fullest. I'm ok with anti-depressants because as a Type 1 diabetic, I will be on medication (insulin) all my life - it's just another little necessity.

I'm about to seek a diagnosis from a local psychotherapist. I suffer from depression, as well, but I think it has a lot to do with my surroundings and lack of emotional support and motivation from my family.

I get into a funk where I feel like I'm on the verge of a meltdown, but it never quite gets there. The idea of smashing the walls in, screaming and cursing lingers in my head, but I end up taking a nap instead. Or if I have some money I'll go to a bar.

We're also in Mercury Retrograde, and I'm a Gemini, so that usually has an effect on me, as well.

I am in the same situation myself.

That's always what happens to me. Sometimes I try to fight it, and most of the time I just can't.

i personally dont think theres any point in fighting it, it always makes me feel worse, although sometimes just getting out of my pjs in the morning helps, which i dont feel like doing at all. doesnt help that i have a 3 year old to think about.
i thought about anti depressants once, but i just dont like the idea of putting stuff in my body, im even reluctant to take paracetamol, hardly drink, dont smoke etc, i dont know its just a thing i have. maybe if it gets to the point where its been TOO long and it doesnt feel like it will ever lift i might go down that route, but for now it never lasts for more than 2 weeks at a time, sometimes only a week, usually with a few weeks inbetween. those few weeks inbetween give me a break and help me to deal with it better. sometimes something comes along like when my sister came home over the summer and i was ok for ages cause of the company, im not used to feeling comfortable in the company of other people but ive always felt comfortable around her, so i was relatively happy while she was here, so maiinly its just whats going on in my life that determines when episodes of depression strike, i tend to try to keep busy as it helps if i dont dwell on things or think too much, but its difficult not being able to get a job, if i did i think i might be able to stop thinking so much about stuff and keep busy
bit of a waffle sorry

hi- and to tim tex- sorry to hear you're feeling near to depression; i know exactly how you feel...

i had it for years, severly, and thankfully have managed to get rid of it- well, generally speaking.
it IS related to my a.s, and once i withdrew from being around other people so much, and now spend the majority of my time alone, with lower visual input (seething streets, new locations etc)- its been much better.
i NEVER thought it was causal depression- i thought it just came over me, unbidden. but since i had really bad depression each school holidays- after months of being out, near people etc- that was obviously poor(a.s) anaylsis.

i have also stayed away from anti depressants- but there are alternatives. herbs like lemon balm, passiflora, vallerian etc work well.
vitamin b pills- get a good brand like solgar- REALLY help, and are scientifically proven to. you can also try small dietary changes- eg- nuts-
'Consider that five servings of beans, a few portions of cheese or peanut butter, or several handfuls of cashews provide 1,000–2,000 mg of tryptophan, which will work as well as prescription antidepressants.'
http://www.doctoryourself.com/depression.html

i am always really sceptical about such things, but they do work, and recently cudgeled a depressed friend into it (vit b and brazxil nuts each day), and it worked well on him too. exercise is also a good combatant of depression.

HOWEVER- i do think depression is am almost unavoidable and logical aspect of a.s- if you feel different, confused, stressed by the simplest, most normal day to day living- then you will feel depressed at some point.
i find life very dificult- id be a freak if i never felt depressed at having to struggle to do simple things. im baffled that anyone with a.s can have it and never feel depressed- lucky them, but for me so much is dificult, not to mention sometimes seeming like im off my face on drugs and cant think clearly.

Same here !