Getting the silent treatment

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I think many of us are very familiar with this form of communication, getting snubbed. I'll admit that my social skills are awful(who's isn't here) so sometimes when I think someone is snubbing me, maybe they really aren't but the one thing that keeps on happening to me over and over again is people just stop talking to me, just like that with no explanation, no nothing. This is getting ridiculous. There is this one person I've worked with for a few years and she was always very friendly to me and always said good things about me. Others told me she even wanted to be my friend but I was never able to make that happen. Even though no real friendship developed, we still got along quite well and talked a lot as acquaintances. She use to always smile and say hi to me every time she saw me come in. Now all of a sudden, she comes in, sees me standing there and doesn't say a word to me. We made eye contact so I know she saw me. The only reason I'm getting a little confused is because this has happened for about two weeks now. It's like I'm not worth talking to anyone. I am so sick of this happening to me with people. I wonder if she's really mad at me about something?

So my question here is has this happened to you guys where you get along real well with someone and talk a lot and all of a sudden it goes in the other direction and the people don't say a word to you anymore? I don't know if I should ask others she knows if she's mad at me or I should test it a few more times to see. If she continues to snub me, I will once and for all say "Okay, are you mad at me, because I want to know if I did or say anything offensive!" I hope I'm not crazy or anything and for real she really is not mad at me but having people stop talking to me is so confusing for me and I am so sick of this crap happening!! ! This has happened to me many times when I was in school too, so I am real familiar with this form of treatment.

Sounds almost exactly like what has happened to me a few times over the last five years or so. Always with women who I had platonic, but not romantic relationships with. One day everything's fine, next day...its like I'm in some alternate universe where this person hates me. I don't get it either. I thought maybe it was anger directed at me from a woman who wanted more than a platonic relationship, but wasn't sure. But with AS, of course, I'm clueless when it comes to knowing the signs of attraction. I'm getting a little better at it, but I'm still stymied.

I've just learned to accept it as a part of my life. It still hurts my feelings when I'm in a depressive state.

For me, it's worse than being physically or verbally attacked by someone.

Ouch. I'm not sure if this is good advice but one thing that helped me cope with my emotions related to this was creating alternative realities. I decided I was getting the silent treatment because I was on a higher level. People who ignored me and snubbed me simply couldn't handle me. So my quest was to meet others on my level. Or people who could tolerate me. Whichever.

Unfortunately, I can relate. Typically the person will be someone who starts talking to me in a class because we're sitting near each other and they don't have any friends in that class. We'll get along well and talk regularly before class, but then the person will decide I'm too weird or they'll make some new friends, and they'll gradually stop talking to me altogether. The most recent time was particularly hurtful because I liked her and really thought our friendship was going well.

For your situation, I think you should ask her if she's mad at you. Maybe you can work it out, and if not then at least you won't be confused anymore.

What you mentioned about your school experience, that has happened to me about 4-5 times. I guess at a job it's no different, sigh...

I am going through this situation with a friend right now. We met each other and really clicked. Great communication. Simple and easy for a change.

Started hanging out quite a bit, weekends, dinner during the week. Emails and phone calls. Kind of built our friendship over the last 5 months. Spent alot of time together. Good friends, right?

And then...nothing? Emails not returned, no calls, not hanging out. How does this happen? We just had dinner last week, things were great. No incidents, no fight, no argument. Almost like he is done being my friend?

Saw him at church, he said hi, gave me a hug and went and sat somewhere else. We normally have lunch after wards. Nope.

I just don't get it.

Wow, sounded like you had a real friendship. This girl who kind of stopped bothering with me, never really hung out with me and I never saw her outside of work but nevertheless, she seemed to like me a lot and told others she wanted to hang out with me. Of course we never did even though we flirted with the idea a while ago and nothing happened because I was too afraid to ask her about it again a few weeks later. Still, the fact that you actually hung out with this person before is a whole other ball game. I think with him, you should just go out and ask him because you probably know him well enough to get an honest answer. My situation seems to be different because this girl was not exactly my best friend or anything so just trying to talk to her is difficult. I sometimes wish people would never be nice to me and show interest and then all of a sudden back out. If they didn't like me from day one, I wouldn't have to be sad because I'd have no expectations to begin with.

I find that people tend to say this a lot and not particularly follow up on it. People may say, "I should talk to person x because there is connection y between us and (I don't know) we're in the same differential equations class" - but we either (a) tend to seek comfortable and familiar situations or (b) when presented with two uncomfortable "new" social situations, pick the group or person that gives them the most long-term social benefit. It's unfortunate, if not downright scary.

But that's relevant as that is, in my opinion, why people tend to disappear off the face of the earth. Friendships, unfortunately, are typically constructed to benefit ourselves. If A and B are friends and C is more interesting, should A abandon B? Unfortunately, this is not an inaccurate portrayal of friendships. I must have met 20 or so people at the acquaintance level in the past 2 years, maybe 4 of whom I am still in contact with.

I've had at least 10 people give up on me. the last one abandoned me on Canada Day and she had the nerve to take me back just to abandon me two days ago.

The worse part is that she's two years older than I am, and she's not the one with the learning disability. I am.

Right now I can only think of one person who did it. I used to sit with this girl when I was 8 and then one day she didn't want me sitting with her anymore and it continued. I could never understand what changed? Maybe I said something wrong and it hurt her and I never picked up I had done something wrong. All I saw was she didn't want me to sit with her and she tell me "We are not going to talk." I do wish I asked her what changed about her?

This has happened dozens of times. I don't understand it.

Especially when you don't even get an explanation.

I'm certainly glad that I'm not alone on this because I'm so sick of this trend happening me and I can never figure out what to do. My solution in the past is to move on and forget about the person but eventually a person is going to do this that I probably will like too much and eventually, I'm going to have to step in and finally get some answers.