"How creepy? Like Asperger's Creepy?"

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A few weeks ago, I was on a smoke break, and a young woman I work with responded to a comment about a creepy individual by saying, "Well, he's creepy, but not like Asperger's creepy or anything." I don't remember the story. I was involved in my own thoughts. Fortunately, I have something like a four-second auditory recording buffer. I don't do well with that sort of input, so it's like a DVR or Tivo that's running, and I can play it back. Use it quite often in everyday conversation. So this phrase triggers me, and I note the quote.

They weren't discussing me. Some mutual acquaintance. I didn't know if I should say anything, because only two people at my job know about me. One has a degree in psychology and specialized in AS and schizophrenic patients. The other has a husband she suspects of having AS.

I didn't feel any offense, nor any need to make it an issue. I am, after the fact, mildly insulted, but a quick analysis of saying anything indicated it was ill-advised.

However, it still echoes in my mind. I've theorized its because I feel I'm lying by saying nothing. It flashed intensely a few days ago, when I used the incorrect tone or inflection just to say "OK." The pitch didn't match my script. She noticed and became slightly huffy.

Should I bring this up? I just got a promotion, and so did her roommate. He's my boss, but I'm sometimes hers. I don't want to lose it - it takes me away from customers and makes my job counting-oriented, but I don't know if I'll be able to manage her.

This post got away from me. My original question:

"When should you stick up for Aspies? Is it necessary?"

Boyfriend says you probably shouldn't say anything if there is potential that you may lose your job, but that if they bring it up again, you should mention something to her about saying such things.

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell "Asperger's creepy" means, lol.

hehe, yes, me too. Is it more or less creepy than a B-movie villain? Perhaps simple curiosity or the need for specification drives the inquiry.

I agree that it is too late to bring it up now. You would just come off as being obsessive.

Having said that, I have a long history of objecting to this type of comment, sometimes a bit too aggressively. I still think it important to step up to the plate, but if you missed this opportunity you might catch the next one. Not to worry - it won't change the world.

Yeah seriously, how does someone even make that up?

I don't walk around saying, "that person's weird, but not schizophrenic weird".

I mean seriously, out of all things to make up....

NT boyfriend says... well, it's just too ironic that it would be something randomly said like that. He said he really doesn't get why she would say that, but wonders if she could tell something was different about you and was just trying to get a reaction of some sort out of you, or to see what you would say. Like maybe she was trying to get that kind of response verbally of, "what was that supposed to mean?"

Other than that, he really can't think of any reason at all besides just insane coincidence that she would happen to say that around you, specifically referring to Asperger's as a "type" of creepy. He says it's just a bizarre thing to say in general... that would be like randomly saying things like "that's wheelchair creepy", or "that's neck brace creepy".

Then, he said, there are also a lot of really strange people online portraying Asperger's, as well, so maybe in the past she had a friend and got a bunch of bad/poor information or read about all the serial killers who others claim were Aspie or something...

You should've punched her , that would've been amusing.....bully gets it in the end

Bring it up to the psychologist guy; let him handle it.

Asperger's creepy? Yikes. Don't do something that can get you the sack; it's not a good time to look for a new job.

I can see how certain "normal" people could say that those with AS appear creepy to them; it's just their social system incorrectly reading the lack of nonverbal cues that a person with AS displays, in addition to talking about the intense interest over and over again. People with AS also tend to stare at people they like....

I find most normal people scary looking, so the door can swing both ways (I've been called creepy before).

I went with two older than me guys at work for a smoke break. I asked why they smoke in another area. They said something about "that one creepy guy goes over there". I asked "what creepy guy"? They were talking about someone that's on my suspected aspies at work list. I work for a software company, so there's a few. Their description was something like "he's early twenties, very baby faced, never looks at you, and always has his hands in his pockets". I told them he was harmless and they're wusses.

I wondered if they were just trying to get a reaction outa me cause they saw a similarity... Duno.

That is so me. I also stare at people if I think they are pretty. But I try to look away and then back so I am not staring. I don't think I have ever been called creepy. Maybe you have to be a guy for it.

Wow, that's a new one.

Yeah... the truth is aspies can be off putting to people. I tend to stare at attractive women and not be able to maintain eye contact with men at all. It's caused me probelms and I know it 'creeps' some people out... It doesn't help that, physically, I'm reasonably intimidating.

Inability to read and or give off appropriate nonverbals is an impediment, and for some NTs it translates as creepy.

Thing that surprised me is the conviction which these conclusions are made with. It is like some universal law "this guy is creepy" and there is no doubt in their minds. I have a small theory that one purpose of non-verbal communication is so that people are "never wrong". They can "save face" by not expressing in a way that can be factually examined. There is an expression "I never said anything." that is often made after a reaction to some non-verbal communication. Eg someone deliberately stares at you to intimidate and confront you. If you react they say "I never said anything".

Thing is that even if you explain to seemingly reasonable people about AS and non-verbal communication I find they will eventually gravitate to the same sub-conscious conclusions.

Thing is, people don't tell YOU when they think your creepy. They tell everyone else.

I wonder if she knows about you, and thought she was somehow being polite.