Losing Interest in girls

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Joined: 15 Nov 2009
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15 Dec 2009, 12:19 am

I noticed that I have been losing interest in girls. A while ago I deleted all my porn, and I stopped looking at porn. I have been focusing more and more on things I enjoy, like studying languages. I have not been masturbating as much as I used to either. Everytime I think about girls I get a weird feeling in my stomach. When I see a girl I feel like turning the other way. My friend often mentions girls and I used to comment back as well, now I just kinda go "yeah haha". I do the same to my older brother. Girls have been mean to me in the past, and treated me like crap. They start arguments with me, call me weird, do things that make me blow up and get in trouble, physically and verbally harassed me, and for me, trying to deal with them frustrates me.

Seanmw
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15 Dec 2009, 3:15 am

just haven't met the right one yet in my opinion

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AspiRob
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15 Dec 2009, 5:28 am

MJackson wrote:

I can relate to a lot of what you posted. I have never had any success with women. When I was younger (like in my 20's and 30's), I used to get really pissed off and depressed about this. Now that I am in my 40's. I find I am caring less and less. I agree that females can be quite nasty when they put their minds to it. I think this has contributed to my aversion of them. Now that I have a good job and career, I can offord to visit a prostitute if the need ever arises (no pun intended). This is not as good a solution as finding an understanding woman but it is the best I can do.

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Aimless
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15 Dec 2009, 5:41 am

Maybe you overloaded on porn. I've been known to look at it on occasion and I find you can burn out on it quickly. It get's depressing frankly and gives you a skewed view of sexual interaction between everyday people.

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LittleTigger
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15 Dec 2009, 8:50 am

I lost interest in girls "that way",
I likemy toys and my nintendo ds
and my mac better.

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willa
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15 Dec 2009, 9:07 am

Seanmw wrote:

just haven't met the right one yet in my opinion

indeed, I went through that for years. just no interest, but eventually you'll come across someone, probably completely unexpectedly, and they will completely blow your mind and make you rethink every theory you've developed about relationships during your hiatus from them

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HopeGrows
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15 Dec 2009, 11:08 am

OP, I think your lessening interest in girls is a way to protect yourself. Obviously, you've had some bad experiences with some women, so it's probably appropriate to put some space between yourself and that particular desire for the time being. You can always use your "down time" wisely. First, it will give you time to process your bad interactions, and maybe even identify some things you could do better in future situations. Also, it may prevent you from rejecting the "right" girl out-of-hand (even if you met the "right" girl right now, your frame of mind might just prevent you from being receptive to her). I doubt your lessening interest is permanent.

TheMidnightJudge
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15 Dec 2009, 11:19 pm

The sexual thing could be a matter of maturity, as that tends to die down with age. That and, even porn can get boring when watched frequently enough. The problem is porn can be a bit hollow. When you study languages, you feel like you're accomplishing something. Can't say the same for porn, typically.

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Lonermutant
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16 Dec 2009, 7:15 am

MJackson wrote:

If I have to choose between the women in porn or the women out in reality, I prefer the porn ones.

wkirk
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16 Dec 2009, 8:46 am

A lot of ASers think in pictures – I know I do. So porn is a natural. The problem is that this medium is so powerful (and manageable) that it replaces the real deal. When I discontinued, my libido tanked also. Still trying to figure out what’s next though…

SirLogiC
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16 Dec 2009, 9:12 am

Different problem for me. Pr0n is fine for managing "urges" but what I really want is a girl to hold. Someone to be with, if just a few hours a day, sex wouldn't be bad either but heh, simple things first. Can't get that though, hell can barely say hello to a girl. So I have this terrible loneliness. Pr0n fills the void, but poorly.

Stupid instinct.

Lonermutant
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16 Dec 2009, 9:50 am

wkirk wrote:

A lot of ASers think in pictures – I know I do. So porn is a natural. The problem is that this medium is so powerful (and manageable) that it replaces the real deal.

That's exactly what porn is supposed to do.

Lonermutant
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16 Dec 2009, 9:53 am

SirLogiC wrote:

To me it fills it perfectly. I only want sex and I just find hotter girls there than in the real world.

MJackson
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16 Dec 2009, 9:28 pm

I do feel that when I study languages that I am accomplishing something. I can listen to a song in a different language and catch on pretty quickly. idk, worrying about girls is just a waste of time because negative thinking does not help a negative situation at all. And my situation with girls is completely negative, so I'm deciding to pull myself away from negativity and not be hurt, and do something that I enjoy and love, that gives me back just as much as I give it.

AspiRob
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17 Dec 2009, 4:23 am

Lonermutant wrote:

To me it fills it perfectly. I only want sex and I just find hotter girls there than in the real world.

I tend to think that about visiting ho's

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Boston_MA
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19 Dec 2009, 5:25 am

Depression decreases your sex drive for one. Another is that porn gets tiring after a while, especially the free kind. Think of it as the end of puberty and a return to your natural sexuality.

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