FPS speed

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some games I've played that are FPSes, the bots will move around very fast as if they're on crack or something.

Is there any way to slow them down to more "human" levels?

This has occurred on Elite Force II and Quake III

I'm not sure if Elite Force II and Quake III use the same engine. I just googled and found some "cheats" to slow down the bots in Quake III ...try http://leobard.twoday.net/stories/1766835/.
Basically you just need to manipulate the server speed and gravity settings.
Also, if you scroll further down into comments you can read about "\bot_thinktime" and "\timescale".

On a similar note ...Quakelive is a fun free multiplayer. Add gijeaux to your friends if you decide to check it out.
Quakelive has a new feature that allows you to practice with bots to determine your skill level. Once that is determined then you can configure it to automatically search servers with matched skill levels.

It's pretty cool I play quite a bit with my son.

Have you tried holding the run button?

Or is something far more sinister at work here?

Might want to check "Always Run" in the settings menu

it's not only me but the bots are running and jumping around as if they're hyper-active rhesus monkeys

Older games can run superfast on multicore processors. Try setting affinity of game's process in Task Manager to just "CPU 0".

Yeah, what he said.

I can't imagine Quake 3 having problems with multicore though, but I guess it's worth a try.

Most likely culprit is that you have vsync disabled. You can enable it in the nVidia control panel (I can't help you if you don't have one of those, though).

I had a problem with Unreal Tournament in Vista x64. The speed would be immense. Then when I ran it again under Windows XP x64, I saw that the speed was correct. All drivers, etc were installed. And I didn't disable my second core.

I've added a few extra options to my boot-up menu so I can run 1 core or both along with how much memory I want to disable; 1,2,3 and 4GB thus saving me from physically removing the modules from the computer. I've had to use this for the CD version of Half Life where the game can't take more than 2GB RAM but the Steam version has no problem reading above this.

Steam version has problems running in software mode, though =(

With modern computers in the last 5 years or so, why would you run under software mode? I only used it when 3D acceleration was barely playable

Because Half-Life has a specific "pixel art" style that gets blurred to mush in hardware mode.

Not to mention the liquid surface effects look awful and the lightmaps are not as pretty (I still think it's pretty fantastic that they even had colored lighting running in software).

Also, any texture that isn't power-of-two (and there are quite a few in the game) will get rounded down to look even blurrier than it should, though they did fix this problem in HL:Source. Quake 2 had a cvar to fix this, but if it exists in HL, I couldn't find it.

HL: Source doesn't feel like Half-Life anymore, though. Its kind of weirdly inconsistent in visuals, the options menu is buggy, it's a half-baked gimmick.