New to the area... Someone suggested to me I may be Aspie...

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I really don't know where to begin but I start and hopefully the rambling will be rather coherent. My question would be is it possible to be almost 30yrs old and not know that you have ADHD or Asperger Syndrome at this point in my life?

History:

I've always been pretty well organized and a very independent person. Graduated fairly high in school. Socially I've been a bit awkward. It's been described as "different" but I have never really cared. After people get to know me, they usually like me quite a bit. I'm described as a very straightforward, tell you what is on my mind kind of guy. Many people like how well versed I am in some of the most random topics.

In college I did well enough I went back for a Doctorate in Molecular Biology. After four long years I decided to try a different route if I ever wanted to have time to pursue my other interests. So I went back to school. I happened to room with three people in the same program with me that were all diagnosed with ADHD. Interestingly, I found there is a wide range of this disease, including a primarily inattentive portion. What fascinated me about this was how many similarities it had with how I act. Including heavy coffee intake as a treatment. After a few days of living with them, they all approached me telling me how I probably have ADHD as well. I at first thought this was funny as I have been told that by many but realized soon after that these people knew nothing about my past. I always assumed the ADHD comment was due to my almost constant movement or focus once I get enough coffee in me. So maybe. However, what was significantly different between my roommates and I is how easily upset and frustrated I become when things are moved from where they were left. Also, I've noticed that I can easily focus on a subject I am interested in for hours without issue whereas they need to take prescriptions to do the same.

I've noticed that I cannot make eye contact without seriously trying. When I do I cannot remember what I was talking about or start saying improper English such as word confusion. Oddly, this seems to be a symptom of Asperger Syndrome. The other big thing I've noticed is I need to read how to act in situations and show little or no emotional empathy towards people. However, I do not suffer from any sort of tic or anything that I feel is Autistic.

Why don't you try some of the tests available? This forum links to several. I recommend the RDOS test.

I also suggest you don't describe Aspergers as a "disease" as this raises hackles. We tend to think of ourselves as "different" not deformed.

Welcome to WP and to the forum anyway.

The diagnosis of Asperger's hasn't really been all that wide-spread in America until recent years. So it really shouldn't be surprising that you made it all the way through school without it ever being noticed. Even then, unless you are seeing a therapist about something, there would be no need for it to be noticed. Welcome to the club of those who didn't find out about a facet of themselves until very late in life.

First off, yes, it is entirely possible to be unaware of an ASD at your stage in life. I was not diagnosed until I was 37, and I made it through an undergraduate degree, a professional degree, and professional positions in both government and the private sector.

In my case, my interests as a child drew me to activities (particularly children's theatre) that provided me with the opportunity to learn many of the skills that I have needed to overcome my deficits. Had the possibility of diagnosis existed when I was a child, this might well have been one of the strategies for coping. I consider myself very fortunate to have stumbled across it serendipitously.

Whether your particular circumstances amount to and ASD or not is beyond my skill. There are certainly many online resources that can help you start that inquiry. Whether or not a formal diagnosis is valuable to you is a choice that you will have to make with some help from a professional. Given that you have made it this far, maybe the impact on your daily life is minimal. On the other hand, maybe you are expending a great deal of effort compensating for deficits that could be better expended elsewhere.

On a final note, don't let the lack of a tic disorder influence you. While tic disorders are often comorbid with ASDs, that is not a diagnostic criterion.

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Last edited by Willard on 11 Jan 2010, 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Have you been talking to my wife or somebody?!

Welcome!

I am 27 and just like you stumbled across AS and noticed some shocking parallels with my life. When I was younger I went to three different therapists who suspected nothing and told my parents I was fine, maybe a bit obstinate, but all kids are right? So it isn't always caught at a young age unless someone who knows what they are looking for interacts with you.

You will be suprised as you go along as you will discover more and more about yourself that you considered "normal" that the powers that be don't.

Here is a link to some of the tests that they were speaking about a few posts up:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html

Tallyman, I went ahead and took the test. I don't know how to interpret the results...

Your Aspie score: 126 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 80 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie <--- That's pretty self-explanatory!

AQ - Score: 39

And I'm sorry about the disease comment. Personally, if I actually have AS I wouldn't really consider it a disease. I've done pretty well in my life because of me being different.

Let's not jump the gun! I still have a lot of self-evaluations in front of me... Also, don't I need a trained psyciatrist to diagnose me?



I was always more a video game person when I was younger. People really didn't start interesting me until college. I'm a quick study and did much better with interaction with people by the end of the college. I attribute it to copious amounts of alcohol...



The only reason I even started looking at AS was because my girlfriend asked if I had ever been diagnosed with it...

Smokie, I never have sought out psychological help and my school was more interested in fast tracking intelligent kids than labeling them with issues. So I see how I could go below the radar.

Questions;
- Is there any medication out there that people take that would potentially correct this deficit?

- I'm not a person that shows much emotion. In fact, my relationships usually fall apart because of this. Would this be from AS?

Lot of men don't show their emotions because of society. Lot of women say they don't undestand men.

There is no medication for autism. If you have associated problems such as anxiety, depression, attention problems, etc-- you can take medication for those. I think Risperdol is given to some for autism, but only for those that are violent?

Yes to second question.

Yes! But there is nothing that can be done. You are you.

Faking social skills is something to work on. as Spokane_Girl says, women do not understand men, so you can fake it, and get by.

It seems you have education and work. drinking makes anyone think they fit in, they don't. Learn some basic how to talk to girls, it is life, which is not science.

It was similar for me. When I was younger I was always considered "gifted" (except in Texas I never could get in their program and I tested twice argh!! ! ) and put in the advanced classes which was good when I was younger, but as I got a bit older and got into Middle and High School I began to not do as well in classes that I had no interest in and do great in things I liked (most sciences except Biology which for some reason was not that interesting). I would spend the other classes reading about what ever was the "special interest du jour" (mainly same topics just parts of the topics not cars in general but Porsches, BMWs etc... or cameras even though I never take pictures but for some reason looking at shutterbug front to back is captivating) which was not discouraged by my parents as I could still muster enough will-power to get just enough credits to go on to the next year so they didn't recognize the signs as this was how I always was and no one had even heard of Asperger's that I knew of.

Now on the psychological part. Two of those occasions were right next to each other and I am not sure (I seem to have selective memory. literally) what I was doing to prompt them (but, I remember feeling very betrayed almost like I was being back-stabbed by my own parents as we were more peers in my eyes then parent-child if that makes any sense). The first one was a place with a large waiting room with toys and such and multiple psychologists. I remember going in a few times and chatting with someone, then they would talk to my parents, then all of us as a group. I only went there a few times then I started going to another place which was a small single person practice (maybe they didn't like the place). This guy was more endearing as he would try and hang out with me by on certain prearranged days picking me up from school after which we would go "hang out" and we would talk. This all happened when I was in about sixth or seventh grade. Now being the keen observer of life that I am I knew what was up so I was magically on my best behavior so to speak or in this case not to speak...much (The first few times I meet unfamiliar people I barely speak and when I do it comes out like a little mouse squeak unless I physically try and project myself, but once I am comfortable you can't shut me up and I get very loud and animated.). So after a few month I no longer had to see him and my life continued as it had before .

The third time was more my own doing. I was in tenth grade and at the time I was reading/researching guns (my mom loves reading so our idea of a good night out was dinner then barnes and noble at which point we would split up and I would grab books or magazines on whatever my interest du jour was and find some nice comfy chair and I would "nerd out".). Well my parents had bought me this book called gun digest (I believe but don't quote me on that) that is just a big book that showed all the guns of the world and I had been going through it from front to back in my morning classes (except chemistry as that was my favorite). Well I made it to english class (my Achilles heal of sorts is anything having to do with english or writing) and I was just tuned out reading my book which was what I always did (my teacher hated that and used to punish me by sending me to gasp the library... brier rabbit anyone?) and someone caught sight of what it was and snitched to the teacher who proceeded to take it away. Fine I will just get it after school and be on my merry way I thought, well unbeknownst to me some rat fink student who did not like me very much decided to go tell the vice-principals office. I was coming back from lunch which was in the middle of my oh so boring math class and passed by my biology teacher who luckily tipped me off that I was being "hunted down" in enough time to purge all my weird weapon designs and questionable documents (think gatling gun potato launcher and such... nothing too damning but this is post-columbine mind you so I destroyed all questionable documents except for the copy of the hacker manifesto I had printed in the library that I figured would not be relevent in this matter). Well you can guess where it goes from here... vice-principal's office (we were almost on a first name basis) bla bla bla, then Principal's office (he was like a ninja mind you. You never saw him then... blam pep rally... there he was... blam gone with no more sightings for months) who went through my things and found that damn hacker manifesto (I wasn't even a hacker I just liked the movie as angelina jolie was a uber-sexy computer geek in it... hormones...). To make a long story even longer (my skill) I got 3-days of in school suspension (where I learned that at the point of discomfort the bladder is only 25% full), but first a nice psych evaluation (which turned up nothing except I liked to push boundaries (DUH) and had low self esteem... when are they going to learn I am wise to "their" ways and will present them what they want to see).

You can't blame them for missing some of the signs as I tend to go silent and chose my words very carefully around new people and it is normally my mouth that gets me into trouble first (I am surprised I have never been in a fight as I am supposedly obstinate and a contrarian as my father would put it). But there are some signs that should not have been missed unless they just were not looking for them or had not studied AS. I missed all the signs myself until I just happened to luck upon Asperger's on Wikipedia when I was looking up autism (as I know very little on the subject) when the person the movie rainman (which i have not seen) was based on died.

I apologize for the very long winded post, but it's like those potato chips once you pop you just can't stop I hope you can follow what I was trying to convey and if you need any clarification don't hesitate to ask as normally I am very close with my "feelings" but internet anonymity and the chance to be around similar people while not being the one who is just that little bit "off" seems to open me up a bit.

I agree society plays a large part in gender bias. Personally, I remember a time where I was so emotional it was out of control. I assumed that was puberty as by the time I was in High School I was almost the exact opposite. There were about two years in middle school where I just couldn't comprehend all the changes (friends, styles, and social lingo). Prior to puberty I really didn't have much emotion either. More or less enjoyed playing and building things by myself. Currently, only life changing moments get me to show any type of emotion.



Nope, not violent. I find it bothersome when people get upset. And more-so when they are violent.

So to follow up on the second question. Would me being internally emotional and having difficulty showing it be a problem?



I've gotten fairly good at social skills. To the point where I feel pretty comfortable around new people especially if we have a common talking point.

I do have edumacation! Soon to be my third college degree... I found drinking at parties during college a great time to observe and try to mimic the older college crowd. Hey a narcotic is bound to make anyone less anxious and easier time at fitting in. Now the sobriety afterward is when you got to make it work!



No problem, it was a nice read! However, I never found myself drawing weapons or anything of that sort. I always found myself daydreaming about whatever is interesting to me at the time. Currently, it is an aquarium that I will be setting up 2 years from now. I have issues listening sometimes because I'm thinking about that.

I was recruited for basketball and football my freshman year of high school. Even though I told my coaches that I had never played and had little interest. Oddly, girls have always pursued me. What can I say? I'm pretty lucky! I cannot meet a girl randomly. Its always a friend of a friend that makes it easier for that first impression. Besides it takes a few times meeting someone before I know if I like them so having a friend of a friend is usually the way.

I guess if there isn't really any medication and there is no really reason for a proper diagnosis maybe I should forgo it? I noticed that on my recently prescribed Adderall that my inability to look at people when talking is gone. Also, I must show more emotion on it as my girlfriend (I get to see only a weekend a month currently) came to visit while I was on it and noted that I must have missed her more because of how more "emotionally caring" I was to her during that visit. On subsequent visits where I was not on it she has been troubled that I'm not the same and distant.

I do not "design" weapons any longer. At that time guns were my "special interest" (still are to a degree as I find going to the gun range a very calming experence plus the way the peices interact is amazing). The gatlin gun potato launcher was more a intellectual pursuit as I enjoy re-inventing the wheel so to speak. My special interests tend to change with time but most are all related to machinery of some sort.

I'd always suspected ADD ever since it became a "big thing", but I had never heard of Aspergers, and honestly I didn't know what autism really was.

Well, when we were in school, there really wasn't a radar to be under. In many ways, I'm very thankful for this. I hear that the schools are very different than they used to be.

I think oftentimes a reasonably "mild" case of ASD, at least one where the person is getting by okay with their differences, is better left undiagnosed until later in life. Had I been diagnosed as a child, I don't know how the knowledge of a label would have shaped me. I certainly think I'd be a bit different than I am now... probably less confident. (For the record, I still haven't been professionally diagnosed, but I feel very similar to the way you describe.)