Things you should NEVER say (or do) at a job insterview

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This thread is meant to be light hearted and on the order of "You know you're an Aspie if ...."

Everybody says the wrong thing at the wrong time once in a while. But people with Asperger's seem to do it more often. Things just have a way of slipping out at times, and creating a wrong impression. Unfortunately, once they've been said, there's no taking them back. Here's an example:

You've just had your initial interview with the assistant manager of Human Resources. You think it went pretty well. Near the end of the interview, she asks you "Is there anything you would like to ask me?" You reply immediately and say:

"Yes. Where did you get those boots?"

1. "How long is the interview going to be cos I'm meeting my Mum for lunch..."

2. "Is it true that your uncle has terminal cancer?"

3. "Could you turn the lights down please, they're dazzling me"

4. "What is the pay? How long are the holidays?"

5. "There's a fleck of spit on your chin - just there..." (reaches over hand to wipe it away)

6. "You look like that guy in X files..."

7. "I need to have a walk at 3:30pm every working afternoon to clear my head and to work out what point I'm at with my day's work."

8. "Hope you don't think I'm being rude if I don't shake your hand - I've got a bit of a thing about germs and touching people."

9. "I didn't imagine you as being black!"

10. "You know, you don't suit the name Vera...you look more like a Poppy."

11. "I noticed you had a Heroes poster on your office wall - I love Heroes! I've got the box set of every series. You can come round to my house tonight and we can watch them all together!"

12. "You'll have to forgive me if I don't look you in the eye, I don't like peoples' faces much."

13. "I'm usually better at interviews than this but I've just had the flu - it's nearly gone now though."

14. "Congratulations - you're pregnant!" (they may just be plain fat!!)

15. (Rather stereotypical - sorry!) "Hi, I'm really pleased you wanted to see me, and I really want to work with you and fit in. I'm sorry if I'm not a social butterfly, I have Asperger syndrome. It's an autistic spectrum disorder that means I have trouble with communication, social interaction and imagination. For example I might not understand turns of phrase and I may find it hard to think flexibly and understand the intentions of others. Also I may need instructions rephrased or explained more clearly than your other colleagues. I also have obsessive interests so stop me if I'm going on too much. I find working in a team and organising my time quite hard so I'll need more time for some things in the workplace. I also have sensory issues such as fire drills or bright strip lighting that can cause me to have panic attacks so please can you give me plenty of warning if there are going to be loud sounds and seat me away from strip lights? I also find it difficult to change routine suddenly so it would be very helpful if you could give me plenty of warning in advance for example by email of any events or changes in schedule. Oh, and sometimes I rock and flap my hands and tap my fingers and those things mean I'm stressed - I just need quiet time and things explained clearly, but stop me if I'm doing it and it's annoying. Is any of that going to be a problem?"

Silentscream - I actually asked a woman on the train that question today. I have a thing for nice boots. In this case though, it was acceptable, and she was glad to share all kinds of information on where to find the best shoes and boots in the city. I guess she shared my love of good, affordable and attractive footwear.

Five years ago, I found a pair of boots in a sale by accident. I've been wearing them almost continuously, and even my friend who doesn't care about fashion has told me that they really are falling apart. I haven't been able to find another pair like that (comfy ankle height zip ups with flat heel), so have resorted to my knee high zip ups with a low heel. I'm a total boot convert now, and nearly live in them!

Hey, hey, hey. That's what I'm talking about > (comfy ankle height zip ups with flat heel) I have a pair just like the ones you describe here, and like yours, mine were badly run down and I couldn't find another pair like them anywhere. So I took them to the shoemakers and he put new heels on them. I'm still wearing them.

Sorry to get off track, but you know how women are about shoes. The answer to Freud's question - "What do women want?" - More shoes.

During my first job interview, I had a resume with a number of fake credentials. Everyone in the Russian community was doing it, and a guy for $$ compiled me a nice fake resume. I was told "thats the way if you want to get a job".

The resume's function was to assemble the knowledge I naturally acquired and make it look like I've gone to schools to do and had prior jobs with experience...

I'm not a good liar, though. During the actual interview, all the fake parts vaporized from my head. When the interview lady started asking me more detailed questions, cross-referencing the fake dates, I started trying to peek over in my resume that SHE WAS HOLDING, all the while turning red in the process.

Worst. Interview. Ever.

Quoting Monsterland:

Did you get the job?

I'm a late developer. It wasn't until I met these boots five years ago, and last Christmas, I got the knee high boots and my first ever high heels that I actually like that I started to understand about the unique relationship that I can apparently have with my foot coverings.

I've had job interviews over the phone. One thing I shouldn't say is "Hello" when I answer the phone. After this first word I said, one job interviewer told me he could tell I wasn't right for the job.

Speech pathologists have told me there is nothing distinct or different in how I speak, and that it is just the content of what I say. Undoubtedly, it is wrong to answer the phone with the word "Hello."

NT's have tons of rules you are suppose to follow at interviews.

There is always a rule to filter out anyone who is "different."

They don't follow all of these formal rules with everyone else, they just preach the rules as if they do.

Tadzio

Not at the time, but I did better at later interviews.

Going through my notebooks,

In one of my interviews, both interviewers broke into to laughter, and hand a difficult time getting back to the interview and details of the particular question, once.

My job interview coach had told me that I was always too serious sounding in interviews, and that I should try "light hearted responses" with slight humor. He also told me that I might be near "flaunting" my academic achievements, and I should discuss my academics more informally.

Taking my coach's advice to heart, when one of the interviewers asked me what the members and I did in Beta Gamma Sigma (an honor society for business majors), I told the truth in a humorous manner, namely, that we mainly just sat around telling each other how smart we all were all the time.

Once the interviewers stopped laughing and drying their tears, they told me "no, we mean, how did you help manage group functions and meetings within the Society?"

Tadzio

Tadzio wrote:

Priceless.