How should i handle this situation.

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 18 and have AS/ADHD and im having at home issues. My mother who is a possible undiagnosed aspie and I don't see things the same way. She often expects me to behave as a "normal teenager" even though for me it is hard to not have melt downs and act up. I don't know how to bring up the fact that I need more support from her then I am currently receiving. When I try to bring up the fact that I need more support and understanding she usually gets angry and acts like there is nothing wrong with me and i should just grow up. It really upsets me especially when she thinks other people have AS and often tells me I should take it easy on them because of that. Sorry If this post is all over the place my mind is racing right now.

wow i'm sorry to hear about that.

If you have been officially diagnosed then you have that one checked off and I would print out some of the articles you can find about the rage cycle that Aspies experience.

If you are self diagnosed then it's time to get a good Aspie book and sit down with your Mom and discuss it and point out why things are difficult and why you came to the conclusion.

As a parent, my kids will often use the "confuse them with facts" tactic

I went through the exact same BS but my mother stopped bothering me altogether when I got diagnosed. If you're not diagnosed just go to the psychiatrist. Psychiatrists usually know what to look for I didn't go in to be tested for aspergers I went to get tested for ADHD but the psychiatrist must have seen my abnormal style of speech and behaviour cuz he started interrogating me about all sorts of things unrelated to ADHD and I answered them honestly and ended up getting diagnosed with high functioning autism.

Do you have a counsellor? If so, a few sessions with you and your mother in some relationship counselling may be a huge help. Having a third party in the room often causes people to temper their outbursts. If the counsellor can help the two of you to understand your issues (and remember, she has issues, too!) then that could go a long way to helping you both find a common vocabulary.

If you don't have a counsellor, I recommend asking your doctor for a referral. Most family physicians have a number of psychologists that they can refer patients to for counselling.

I was professionally diagnosed last year. I have tried sessions with a consouler with her in the room and she ended up getting upset and saying a few not so nice words and leaving.

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time, but you're going to encounter this attitude for the rest of your life, from pretty much everyone you ever know.

I'd recommend getting the meltdowns under control, because you'll never hold a job if you let people see you react that way.

I know it's hard, but real life does not allow you to cry and have meltdowns, and neurotypical people generally don't care if you're having a problem. In fact, most of the time, they won't believe that you are having a problem, because it's never happened to them.

From 18 on, 'support' is a luxury. Life is about coping and survival.

Do you have any tips on how do deal with melt downs? When I have one my brain just shuts down and there is no stopping myself. I have on ocassion stopped myself from hurting myself physically which is a big improvement on my part. I just don't know what to do when I get to the point that I'm about to freak out.

For me the best thing is alone time. If I can get away from the source of the pressure that's causing me to overstress, I'll usually calm down, though it may take hours...

The best thing to deal with meltdowns is to just avoid the things which trigger them. If a person has seizure problems then it would be a bad idea for them to go to spend time around bright flashing strobe lights. In the same way your best course of action to deal with meltdowns is to avoid the causes of them. Find out what stresses you out, overloads, and overwhelms you and avoid it. If you can't avoid it then do it differently or reduce the exposure.

And if all else fails and you still get too stressed out, then retreat to a safe place where you can let it all out privately without disturbing other people.

i got an x box 360 out of agreeing no s**t, i was like skeletor at the time, but i got the no games rule lifted, i do have a tenedency to obsess