Mom of 11yr son JUST diagnosed w/ Asperger's HELP PLEASE LOL

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Hi my 11yr son, Matthew, was just diagnosed with Asperger's. I always knew he was a little different, NOT BAD though. He is highly intelligent & this may of prevented me from thinking there was something "wrong".My 16yr son has ADHD & I have ADD, so I knew it wasn't that. Matthew(11yr) was having bad anxiety attacks the last few months. These are some of the "signs/symptoms (please excuse me if I don't use correct terms) he shows.
1. Highly Intelligent!!, reads at College level

2. Does not understand sarcasm/goofing around/horseplay

3. Never had a best friend

4. Misunderstood by adults(My mom, Mother in Law & teachers as being rude, smart mouth, or know it all

5. Right now is engrossed in Golf. Has Bag, clubs, etc. wants to learn & tell you EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

6. Takes things people say literal. EX. At school they were taught about recycling. Now he is convinced if we don't recycle EVERYTHING the rain forests will be directly affected!! BTW HE LOVES NATURE & ANIMALS & can tell you ANYTHING about them.

7. Not athletic. Joined baseball 3yrs ago & was very bad. But he worked on it til he could hit the ball, however never was able to run fast enough to make it to 1st safe or catch a ball. Still can't

8. Gets VERY frustrated with 3&half yr. sister./ Wants EVERYONE to follow "the rules"

9. Can't control emotions or have "appropriate" response to emotions

10. Gets HIGHLY ANXIOUS when we (parents) talk in a firm voice, to ANYONE OR SITUATION, even if its not at him. Also when an accident occurs, this causes him to start repeating ' I'M SORRY ! !" over & over & over & CAN NOT CALM HIMSELF DOWN or forget about it.

Right now we are waiting to get his appointment for a pediatric neurologist, however, we are having a VERY HARD TIME knowing how to treat him or what to do to avoid/cope with situations relating to #10 & #8.

ANY ADVISE would be MORE than appreciated. We love him sooo much & feel helpless rt now. Thanks you for your time & support.
Tracy

Not sure how much you can do for those things - I just turned 51 and I still want everyone to follow 'the rules' (even though I can't always follow theirs) and feel anxiety around any type of aggression. What may seem like firm conversation to other people feels like a physical beating to me.

Just please don't feel you have to medicate him for being different. If you do that, you might as well tattoo FREAK on his forehead. That just screams "There's something WRONG with you and we must find a way to FIX you."


Welcome to The Planet.

Get thee to the parent's forum. Your son sounds like a really nice kid. I hope all works out for you.

He sounds pretty normal to me. I've never raised a kid who wasn't like that.

I do a lot of translating with the kids. I break down the social stuff and try to explain to them how and why people feel the way they do. I have to make it all very logical so it makes sense to them. My 13 and almost 11yo have Asperger's and my 8yo is kinda sorta in the spectrum but it depends on who you ask and when. He does a lot of the stuff AS kids do, but he's also pretty good at being social. He's just unique. The psych. says PDD-NOS, but recent testing says otherwise. Whatever, he's awsome!

Kiley

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Remember...it's autism, it's not the end of the world.

Acceptance is the best cure.

hi, welcome to wp

Asperger's syndrome is a difficult syndrome to grasp because of the scope of symptoms and the severity in which they affect each different person on the spectrum. Because of this, therapy, intervention and coping strategies are generally pretty trial-and-error, so have an open eye to what you hear from people. I recommend reading as much as you can about ASD's (well, that is my special interest. My favorite authors include Temple Grandin and Tony Attwood. Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Apergers Syndrome is one of the best books that you can find and is written in an accessible manner. Temple Grandin has some excellent books as well about ASD's. One of my favorite's is called Emerging Labeled Autistic which is an old one, but a good one. In particular, Temple Grandin's mother was way ahead of her time in her ability to understand autistic people. She is a good example of what an adult should be for someone with a disability - someone that does not give up and changes the world to work for their child.

There is not much that you can do for anxiety (atleast none that I know of!). Meds are generally designed for adults, so they may not be helpful. You can do things to prevent some of the rudeness/monologuing/lack of understanding emotions. One of the things you can do is increase his ability to self-reflect. You can do this by having him write down his feelings and interpreting social situations with him. When I know that I am on the verge of a meltdown, I start writing because I will calm down and be able to put my emotions in perspective. Another thing you can do is explain how to behave in certain situations and model appropriate behavior. If only I had a wingman to explain everything to me, life would be a whole lot easier! It would really help him if you explained the teasing to him - maybe he does not get it or like it, but it is how other people build relationships, so he needs to understand this. Some Aspie's have really absurd sense of humors' , I can occassionally be a fun person to be around. Asperger's is sometimes regarded as selfishness - which it is not- - but I know that the more experience that I have with things that are different than me - other cultures, other aged people, people that are different - the better I become at taking other's perspectives.

Anyways, there are people that will help you and your son on WP. I know for myself it was somewhat of a relief to learn about AS, but also, I was rather an emotional wreck after learning about my AS - things like grief, denial, anger, frustration, resent and I imagine that these feelings could be rather similar to a parent of a child that has recently been diagnosed, so take care of yourself!

Welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet neighborhood, tracyk0813.

I think the last sentence was the best therapy for the troubles you're having right now.
Just curious, anything happened in the recent months that caused a disruption in routine??

Welcome here... and seems others gave you loads of good advice. Won't overload you... I do have a 10 year old Aspie son.

WP does have a parenting forum. I wish you luck with the medical exam, too.

Thanks for ALL of your responses!! ! I definately will be checking out the parent's forum, I just didn't know where to start LOL. And be taking all your advise!! With much appreciation, Tracy

Your son sounds fantastic! He's got great skills so he will do really well! There's plenty of things you can do to help him learn re taking things literally, understanding sarcasm etc. The best advice I can offer is teach him him to calm himself down when he escalates. My parents taught me to meditate and it's one of the best things they ever did for me, not full on meditation, just learning to take some time to do nothing and let your mind wander and relax, because finding a way to deal with anxiety and hyperactivity makes things SO much easier.

Hello Tracy, welcome,

Good luck for your son!

Enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

I can't concentrate on anything in your post because of the "LOL" at the end of the title. WTF is up with that? Why would you say LOL at the end of something which otherwise sounds serious.

Makes no sense.

Welcome to WP!