problems w/ relating to people

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I'm just recently realizing I have asperger's and finally dealing w/ the issues that go w/ it. For ex, I walked to small store on my street to get some chamomille, and I was dreading it. The social interaction of asking the clerk a question, paying for the item. Does anyone else feel this? I used to "pretend" it didn't bother me. Maybe once I get to know people I will feel more comfortable. Like I said I'm going through a lot right now (dealing w/ sensory issues, etc.) Accepting that I have asperger's has been difficult, even though it explains all the things that have been upsetting or bothersome in my life.

Yes, we're on the same page with this one. Even going into the 7-11 down the street, which I go to practically every day, makes me nervous. Everyone in there likes me and says hi to me when I come in, they've even hinted at wanting me to work there, but the anxiety is hard to overcome.

Last edited by MrGeezy on 18 May 2010, 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It is something that's hard to overcome and difficult for a lot of us. I've had the same issues with talking to people even asking for change or something from a clerk or asking a clerk to put the $20 I had on a certain gas tank so I can fill up. Small stuff like that makes me really anxious sometimes. My medication helps somewhat to deal with the anxiety, but it's still there.


Anyway, welcome to WP. Hope you get the help and support you need being here.

Yeah, definitely don't like the unexpected. So going to a busy place, trying to get what I came for and get out without any complications and get back to the safety of my home is what shopping is like. I really appreciated the explanation a definitive diagnosis offered as opposed to concluding I was just poor at dealing with everything.

I have the same issue. Sometimes I just drive on by the store because I can't muster it up to go in. That sucks. I don't want to talk to the clerks or chance running into someone I know and having to talk to them. =(

I do everything I can to avoid social interactIon. I often wear sunglasses (to avoid eye contact) and headphones (not always playing music!) So I can pretend not to see/hear someone without seeming overly rude.

I'm the same, I will rarely go to a shop by myself (thank god for internet). I get all worked up about what to say, keeping track of what I want, where to park my car, how to pay... I could go on and on.

I also do the headphone thing, and when possible I go at a time when I expect it to be calm.

I also feel the same way. I do all my grocery shopping at 7:00 am on Saturday or Sunday and then use the automated checkout. I do challenge my anxiety but it doesn´t really seem like it´s going away. I feel anxious and apprehensive simply leaving the inside of my house, I know it´s irrational but simply knowing that doesn´t make it go away.

No problem for me with stores. I don't consider those social in the least. I can play a role like customer, teacher, elevator occupant, whatever, as long as I have a clear idea of the role. If it goes social, beyond mindless niceties, that is where the problem starts, where it gets personal.

I have a hard time, relating to women, my age group. I'd rather be drumming in a band, than shopping for the latest womens clothes, at my local mall. I'd rather listen to rock n roll, with guitars, than watching American Idol. I'd rather wear a suit and tie, than experiment with makeup.

I used to have a lot more trouble with clerks and such, but as I've gotten older it's not as bad (though I still have days & isolated moments when it is bad). I realized at certain point my vocal inflection was getting me into trouble; it was all over the place and tended to come off sarcastic or angry or whatever. And also from some how-to-get-a-job seminars figured out that eye contact was a big deal to people. Once I got those things down the negative responses went down, and the positive ones went up farily well. It was (and is) exhausting as hell, though.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd been able to use some alternative form of communication (like writing things on a notepad), if I wouldn't have ended up so shell shocked by minor interactions like that.

I've never been able to find anyone I can relate too. It dosen't bother me.

oh yes. buying a cup of coffee or newspaper will sometimes be a big anxiety provoker for me. does the cashier recognize me? (i can't tell.) should i act like i recognize them from previous times or would that be invasive? if they obviously do (ask how i've been or some such) am i supposed to be more "casual" or personable with them? (and how?) am i looking in all the wrong places? do i seem dodgy b/c i don't make good eye contact? do they notice my routine - in there every day, getting the same thing? is it obvious that the sound of the espresso machine is unbearable to me? etc. and waiting in line, for a variety of reasons, is somewhat excruciating for me (anticipating talking to cashier, nothing to lean on) plus my sensory sensitivities have gone absolutely berzerk since i self-diagnosed .. it seems all my usual coping mechanisms or filters have dissolved since i became aware.

i think this is normal, though .. when you become aware of it all it seems deafening ..
maybe this article ( < link ) will help ...

I do the same thing!

Definitely.

This is why I love the diy check out. grab my stuff scan it pay for it then leave.