Any advice?

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Hi ^^

I'm really worried about tomorrow- I'm going to see a psychologist
(or someone along those lines, not really sure of the title) but I keep getting a sudden urge to cancel (which obviously I can't, it's tomorrow, and I've known about it for months, so I wouldn't be allowed to, and it'd be rather rude) so I have to go, but because it's so soon I'm now panicking that I might not have AS, or might just have AS traits, or might just be wasting their time and it will be a complete embarrassment!

A few months ago I was quite ready and wanting to look into this, to perhaps get a diagnosis and so on, but recently I'm thinking that I don't really mind whether or not I have AS, or whether or not it's diagnosed, because I'm now happy to accept myself as I am (well near enough, I dont feel like I need a diagnosis to be who I am, if that makes any sense, I'd still be the same person with or without one) whereas before, I was thinking if I were diagnosed, I could accept it and then try to focus on things I need to work on, such as being more independant etc.

So what's worrying me is that I can thinki of alot of traits etc that would highlight me as being ASish, but the letter says they want to speak to my mum separately about my early childhood development, so I asked her yesterday if there was anything she could think of, and she said no, I was normal as a baby, its only now I'm slightly odd (lol, this was said in a nicer way than that though!) so I'm worried that based on that, I probably wont be diagnosed, and the people will think I'm wasting their time, and I will be extremely embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

(Interestingly enough, my mum revealed that her and Dad suspected that my younger brother has AS when he was little, and did consider looking into a diagnosis- which actually, if I think about him as a baby/toddler, would have fitted well, and even now we have suspected he could have ADHD)

Anyway, any advice for tomorrow? How did you find it, if you were diagnosed as a teenager/adult, and was it primarily based on your childhood?

Thanks :3

Nothing to worry about, honestly.

Go along tomorrow and have a long friendly chat with someone who knows an awful lot more about the human mind than you or I. If your leg was injured you wouldn't hesitate to go to hospital and get it seen to so why should the mind be different? I was diagnosed as an adult but AS has been affecting me since I was sixteen or so which meant that the conversations I had with a psychiatrist went back a long LONG way and we covered a lot of ground over a series of five meetings.

I know why the psychologist wants to see your mother separately but I'm not going to say why because it will affect what goes on tomorrow. If you want to find out why then PM me on Friday after the event or post again on here.

Vanilla_Slice

Thankyou ^^

I suppose so yes, I think I'm probably making this out in my head to be much worse than it really will be, and even if it turns out that I do just lack confidence (which is what my mum, dad, and others have said) then I suppose its something (although I wouldnt say I lack confidence myself, but maybe I'm defining it differently).

Okay, I'll ask you later about it- I'm assuming it's so she can say things that perhaps she wouldnt want to say with me listening in to, and I agree it's probably a good idea, and the same would go so that I could speak to them and say things that I wouldnt say infront of her perhaps, but we shall see :3

At the end of the day, even if they think I'm wasting their time, or leave utterly embarrassed, I won't have to go back and talk to them again if thats the case If not, maybe I will leave with a little more confidence or understanding in myself.

Thanks again, ^^

Hang in there Althea. It's going to be fine.

It sounds like you've been doing allot of self analysis and wondering if "does AS really explain all my personal garbage?" Tomorrow is a major step in getting that over and done with; either way.

If your mom can't think of anything telling before 3 you may be labeled PDD-NOS, which isn't like some curse or anything. I'm being evaluated next week so I'm kind of feeling the same as you - I don't know if I seemed Aspie that young, like my first obsession I remember wasn't until I was 6 or 7 I think. But it's actually my parents who brought up they thought I may have asperger's, not me. Either way I really just want to know so I can stop obsessively asking myself am I or am I not. I've had to wait a month for this appointment but I swear it's felt like a year.

There is not one type of autism, friend. You can't read stories of personal experience with it, not relate, and think "oh well, don't have it", because we are all different and that ironically draws us together.

But you'll be welcome here!

Thanks everyone :3

j0sh- The way mum put it was that I was looking for a reason to explain why I felt how I do (different from the norm), which I agree with, but recently I have been thinking is it neccessarily AS, or am I just agreeing with these criteria so I can have a reason? (That didnt make any sense, but oh well) I have a feeling things will probably head in the direction of my parents divorce, but we shall see..

ambi- I don't know, would they give a diagnosis straight out? I think in the letter it said today was just a kind of initial consultation, and then they would set another date to see a different person or something if neccessary, but i agree with the constant self doubt, I'd just like an answer too. Good luck with your consultation I think my wait has been the opposite! Its been a few months booked, and they have gone way too fast for my liking!

Ferdinand- thankyou very much I certainly feel welcome here, and regardless of the outcome, I will still frequent this site, as its very friendly and understanding, and i feel, even if i dont have any diagnosable issue, i still understand and agree with alot of what is said on here, so its nice to find others similar ^^

Keep your head about it, and don't worry about it. What's the worse that could happen?

Just relax, the one thing you DONT have to worry about is wasting there time (they get payed by the hour). Besides its definitely nice to have a diagnoses, especially if your interested in/need social security, collage grants, an excuse for poor social interaction... The worst case scenario is that you don't have AS.

Hi again ^^

Well, it's been and gone- I went yesterday, I sat in a room with 2 people and spoke to them, while mum spoke to 3 in a different room, and then end result was that no, I don't have AS, since I didn't show and developmental issues, or any signs of AS when I was younger, but I do have social anxiety, and they also did some memory tests, which showed I have a poor short term memory, so it would be helpful if people wrote instructions down for me, which i completely agree with. So I don't have to go back, and actually I am pleased I went, because even though I was wrong (which isn't a bad thing, its not like I 'wanted' to have AS) just looking into it these past few months has made me analyse my personality alot more, and also come to accept myself for who I am, which at the start I was struggling to. I've also found a brilliant website full of amazing people, and I understand alot more about Autism and AS. I definitely feel I do have alot of ASish traits, but then I think alot of people to some extent will, and perhaps thats just my personality, either way I'm pleased, and I'm going to try and work on becoming more independant from now on (and they explained that my memory difficulties would explain why i dread making phonecalls) so yep, thankyou ever so much to everyone who has given me advice and reassured me while I've been here Have a lovely day!

(Don't worry, I don't think I'll be leaving WP though, I can still empathise with alot of what everyone is saying, so it would be nice to stay a part of this ^^ )

Well, now that the big event has taken place I can let you know why they interviewed your Mom separately. Put simply, they wanted to see how you reacted to certain things without seeking approval from a parent. If the two of you had been sitting together then the interview would have been entirely different and the results would not have been so useful.

How do I know all of this?

The same thing happened to me years ago

Vanilla_Slice