I've Learned To Keep My Mouth Shut

Post Reply New Topic

I've learned to keep my mouth shut around people who I suspect may bully me. And it has worked out well. I used to ran my mouth a lot, and then people would bother me. But since I've learned to study someone before I decide to open my mouth around them, the bullying has decreased. I do this so people won't know what to expect from me. and also people usually become too friendly with me and then begin to cross boundaries, so now I just get silent. And if they try to bother me as a quiet person, I'll be mean, and they'll leave me alone because that's all they'll expect from me, not someone who is nice. I am a nice person, but I can't let mean people know that, that's why I stay quiet.


Who else uses this technique?

Ironically I've tried this technique and found it not to work so much but like you said it does decrease the unwanted attention. I've learn that people are going to be jerks no matter how much you "mind your own business" or manners for that matter. That's just primitive human nature. Being mean might be a short term way of dealing with it however there are other factors and instances you might want to bare in mind before reacting. If you're at a job for instance, being mean is going to make you look like the bad guy and will only add fuel. I've learn it's even worse with authority figures who abuse their power, sometimes you'll have to suck it up if you want to keep that promotion or "get on their good side" if they have the key in which you seek to gain.

Humans aren't always going to be fair, in fact they can be the worse species to be around when their jerkness is intentional. You may have found ways to lessen the "attention" and I've done this myself but you might want to practice ways in which to respond that aren't so mean. I do think bullies seek out the kind of people who are they think they can knock down without a fight.

I try to keep it shut, but I am so impulsive on talking.

So you don't think that this will stop bullying or decrease it to the point where I want it? I just don't know how to respond to let someone know I don't want to be bullied, unless I do it in a way that gets me in trouble. People always tell me to ignore it when someone tries to bully me and the bullying will stop, and I learned that that doesn't work, as many of us have learned here. That is why I'm trying this new technique. I'm also gonna keep my distance from people who I may suspect will bully me.


also, I'm going to University next year and I have my own dorm. I will start in august. I get the feeling that college is not as bad as high school where you have to be around people you don't like so often.

does bullying really stop in college? because that's what I've been hearing. People have been telling me that it's a more adult atmosphere.

I am also choosing to not wear my Obama shirt anymore in certain atmosphere so that I won't get on people's bad sides, not that I;m trying to get on anyone's good side. But say I have a racist professor, I don't want what happened to me in high school to happen in college where my racist teachers would grade me down for reasons I didn't know. I felt they were racist for many of the things they said and how they graded me, but I;m not going there.

All I'm trying to do is not give people reasons to bully me...and is college really better when it comes to bullying?

Through out my life I have always kind of kept my mouth shut, my parents would always get mad at me because I never talked much around family. At first I thought it was just because I was shy and so I kind of grew a backbone and began to speak my mind. From this point onward I noticed a severe lack of respect and this is when I started to realize that I might be NT. I am still trying to find a balance to deal with this. Also the people I am "bullied" by are all a few years older than me 21 and up and do it mostly behind my back which is nerve racking. I wish that they would say it in front of me so I could figure out what I am doing that is out of the ordinary.
The actual school part of college is a lot less stressful as people don't have so much freetime to direct their jerkness at you. A parallel question to others is how about life after college do people stop being dicks? or do they still circle jerk eachother to make them feel like they are right about the norms of everything?

I've only been realizing the last few days how much I've learned to keep my mouth shut around just about everyone, just to avoid crap. Like, I know I don't "fit" what they think is ok just by being there (don't wear the right shirt or hair combed the wrong way or whatever else they pick at), and if I open my mouth and talk they get even worse. Heaven forbid someone have a brain and use it out loud.

People remain jerks, but many grow up at some point. That said, I've been in workplaces that were horrendous for bullying all sorts of people. The worst I found were in government work sites, and in strong union workplaces. I have nothing against either, but both make it easier for bad employees to be protected, including bad bully employees, and never gotten rid of. Which means more decent people leave eventually (willingly or unwillingly) and the concentration of bad people gets worse and worse over the years.

There's bad everywhere, but there's worse, too.

I never talked much in school, and people never really bothered me, and the ones that did only did once or twice before the random people who liked me for some reason stood up for me. Once in 8th grade, one of the toughest kids in school befriended me for some reason (this helped a lot lol). One thing he told me was that people are cautious around quiet/aloof people because they don't know what to expect, and it can be intimidating in and of itself. But yeah, I was never much a target for bullying due to the fact that I was so disconnected from everything around me and almost never talked.