real life socializing with Aspies vs NTs

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Obviously I know what it is like to socialize with NT's in real life, but as an Aspie what is it like to socialize with Aspies in real life (in person)? Is there a noticeable difference? Is it easier or more difficult? Is it more/less enjoyable? More/less interesting? More/less comfortable? Do you have a preference for socializing with Aspies or NT's or does not matter?

When replying, please state how much aspies you have met in real life (or just tell me if it is more than 1), so I know whether you are describing the interaction with 1 specific person, or general interaction with aspies.

Sometime I would like to meet several aspies in real life so I can experience for myself what (if any) difference it makes.

socializing with NTs can be fun, but only the open minded kind of NTs.
aspies and people who are "weird" or " on the spectrum", alternative people, nerds, and non conformists are the only ones i feel totally comfortable with and can be myself around.
so yeah, aspies belong with aspies!:D allthough some are utterly annoying and intense, but so am i ... uhm. but i wouls still choose aspies (nonNTs) over NTs any day:)

I know several people IRL who are probably aspies - maybe not 100% aspie, but definitely leaning in our direction. I find interaction with them so much easier because we 'get' each other. Two people I'm thinking of specifically are a coworker and my sister's boyfriend. I also have a cousin who's very likely undiagnosed AS or HFA, and I remember when we would spend time together as kids, the adults would always marvel at how well we related to each other - they still talk about this mysterious 'connection' my cousin and I seem to have with each other.

With other aspies, I can read a lot more from their body language, and verbal communication goes so much more smoothly. NTs seem to have a hard time following my train of thought because we're coming from different angles in conversation, but aspies almost always understand what I'm trying to say... my coworker sometimes comments that it seems like I can read her mind, because we can understand each other so well and communicate so well compared to how it is with NTs. Another thing with aspies is that we understand each other in terms of need for routine and sameness, need for alone time, sensory issues, overload, obsessions, etc, so that makes a big difference - makes things more comfortable because you can kinda watch for that stuff and help each other out.

(I'm not saying that interacting with NTs is bad or undesirable, just that in my own experience interacting with aspies is nice because it's so much easier in a lot of ways, not as draining so you can kinda relax and enjoy it more.)

As far as the social side of things goes, we're the same as NTs in a lot of ways - even though aspies have the aspie stuff in common, we're still individuals with different personalities, interests, etc, so you're not automatically gonna click with every aspie.

Fascinating! Now I am looking forward to eventually meeting some Aspies in real life. Thanks for the replies.

I've alone met one other Aspie in real life and that was my ex fiance. It was quite easy talking with her and some of her NT friends. I'm like NTs that are as what someone said above are open minded. I know some girls that are NT that are either still in High School and Middle School are not would you call close friends because I only get to see them at Chruch but they've gotten used to me hugging them. I'm a hugger what can I say? I don't really feel close to any of the NTs at church and I've never gotten the guts to get to know some of my fellow church members. I've been hurt by many NTs so that's why I stay far from them.

Sometimes it is easier, sometimes it is more difficult, because people are at different levels of their ability to socialise. My preference would be socialising with people who have Aspie traits.

I have met Aspies from my local support group so that would be approximately more than 10 people with a diagnosis. Then I have known people with a lot of traits but not a diagnosis over my lifetime. Then there's also my family which I would include in that as well, my Dad being obsessed with cars.

Sometimes I think some Aspies can annoy each other by being similar or by being completely different in their behaviours, like cats being rubbed up the wrong way. This is because people can be quite rigid - "it must be done my way!"

But I can also ditto many of the experiences described above, sometimes it is easier to read each other etc.

i think i just met an aspie today but id dint know what to make of her
because AS affects different people on different ways.

i work on a caravan site in the little shop and this lass came in today about 16 or so in her pyjamas. not hat i foudn that offensive.. i woukd have done the same thing if my parents wouldnet have stopped me lol

so she buys a packet of sweets and then shes standing next to the counter chatting to me. we greet and soon as the greet is over shes asking me for a hug.... ok....... so i thought well no harm in that and then seh comes behind the counter and i asked her to please stay out of the area behind the till but she instead came closer and put her body uo close to mine and asked me if she could do some shelf filling. i didnt see the harm in that.
my lil shop is one we use a pricing gun for everything.
so im showiung her how to use the pricing gun.. but then she breaks it anyway, and i take it pff of her to mend it then i decide to play with her cos that is how i am.... i higged the pricing gun close to me with arms round it and sed if u want it come get it. so she did and cos im strong she could not budge it off me and she got really mad so i loosened my grip and she bashed me on the chin with it and then shouted at me for taking it off her
so i jjstlet her have it and showed her again how to use it
she goes in the warehouse at nthe back for more things to put on the shelves and shes dragging me by the arm as she goes. and then hugs me again

so i asked her if shes a lesbian ( i am) and she said no. but i was confused becuase she was hugging me and that so i thought maybe she fancies me.


my boss comes in anyway and asks her to leave which she does. but then shes waiting for me when i finished work and asks me if she can come to my house. i said no but she was persistant and wouldent let me go without her going with me. in the end i had to have somebody from work escort me to my bike then througha staff only passage way so that i could escape.

i found that im quite uncomfortable round her because of her being so over friendly. she tried to hug my colleague twice my age but she brushed her off not like i did.she to,d me later that she also felt a bit intimidated by her

im not used to such physical contact with a total stranger and i really wasnt sure how to react.
i dont know what to do becuase shes planningon coming in the shop again tomorrow.
im finding myself looking forward to sunday... the day she is going back home

but im not sure whether to like her or dislike her. i find her behaviour rather intimidating allthough i think she is just trying to be friends. im really stuck on what to do here

I think socialising with an aspie is much better than with an NT because aspies can share the same logical perspectives and interests, they are honest and do not see the point in lying to someone, and that they have more or less the same problems as me and everyone else on here. I don't trust many NTs of my age since it is hard to tell when they are lying and I have lost a huge amount of trust for some of them becuase some have made fun of me at school, and this gives me a judgement about their character. So socialising with someone with AS is better in my opinion.

drummer_girl: yeah she is SUCH an aspie, she sounds really fun to. i like fun pppl who do strange things:D

Darwin proved that non verbal communications is hereditary. Facial expression are culturally universal; even some animals share simular facial expression. This is why NTs learn it naturally; it is encoded in their genes. I understand that autism is also hereditary(?); if we can understand each other better because we share simular genes, then why is it considered a "neurological disfunction"? Wouldn't it be a "neurological difference"? Just as advanced cultures have to accomodate for other diverse social groups: such as race, sex, class, and gender- why not add Neuro types?

(This is where we take over the world )

I'd go along with that. I wouldn't describe myself as 100% aspie, though I do have tendencies in that direction. I have a fairly close friend who also has aspie tendencies, and I think that helps us somewhat to get along. Many of my acquaintances are computer geeks, so aspie-like traits are not uncommon in my social circle.

As neongrl says, aspies like everyone else are individuals so you're not gonna click with everyone.

She probably is just trying to be friends. As to what to do... if you feel you'd like to get to know her better, you could tell her this and tell her that constant hugging (particularly with people someone has just met) is something that a lot of people find off-putting.

I've never met another diagnosed Aspie in real life. I've always had kinda off-beat friends, though. My best friend has spectrumish stuff in her family tree - her niece is probably ADHD though the doctors refuse to even look at her to diagnose. She may even be Aspie - I certainly think there's a lot in common with AS but again, they won't even look at her.

I have never managed to click with NTs who are wholeheartedly in the box. They always seem to end up the ones who I argue with or who bullied me or others in the past. I guess I look for unique people to be friends with - preferably people who are a bit more outgoing than I am to begin with, so I don't make the first move.

I admit being intimidated by extreme popularity too.

I'd like to meet other Aspies but then I probably wouldn't know what to say to them, either *lol*. I find it much easier to express anything and everything online that I can't necessarily do/say in real life

Apple

I have dated at least two guys, maybe three with aspie traits. Like poster above said, frustrating sometimes, but if you can relate to their quirks, they are usually very grateful if you are not a typical NT. Similar sense of humor was helpful in romantic relationship.

All of my favorite people, the most interesting, the ones with the most 'original', the ones that say those things I remember for years and send goosebumps down my spine, turned out to have aspie traits.

Find aspies with similar obsessive interests and you can overcome the other quirks.

I seem to attract those who don't play well with others at work. Individuals, free thinkers, in the research world....cats to be herded. I work in R & D which is rife with highly functioning aspies. I can count three which I have weekly contact. I often have to disagree with the gossipers......these people have good qualities as well as the unusual quirks. If you look hard enough through their surface, and have enough patience, mostly more good than bad.

And they seem to understand my quirks with more grace than others. As I grow older, I can recognize the aspies more clearly.

I have dated at least two guys, maybe three with aspie traits. Like poster above said, frustrating sometimes, but if you can relate to their quirks, they are usually very grateful if you are not a typical NT. Similar sense of humor was helpful in romantic relationship.

All of my favorite people, the most interesting, the ones with the most 'original', the ones that say those things I remember for years and send goosebumps down my spine, turned out to have aspie traits.

Find aspies with similar obsessive interests and you can overcome the other quirks.

I seem to attract those who don't play well with others at work. Individuals, free thinkers, in the research world....cats to be herded. I work in R & D which is rife with highly functioning aspies. I can count three which I have weekly contact. I often have to disagree with the gossipers......these people have good qualities as well as the unusual quirks. If you look hard enough through their surface, and have enough patience, mostly more good than bad.

And they seem to understand my quirks with more grace than others. As I grow older, I can recognize the aspies more clearly.

It can be difficult at times, because the other Aspie often wants to talk about their special interests which I don't necessarily share. It's still hard to think of things to say. And I can't say the conversations are any more deep and meaningful. But I have had some good conversations with other Aspies.