Very serious problem

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Been busy, but I am posting this here because it is a very serious subject.

I work in fast food as you might be aware, and there is a 16 year old coworker who will be starting the tenth grade, who has the major hots for me, and I have a year of college under my belt.

What am I to do? If she was legal, or very close to that then I'd date her, hang out sometime or something? Just gotta know what to do, and how I'd break the Asperger's down.

Need advice.

Sounds like puppy love. She'll probally outgrow it. Just ignore her. if I were you though I might have gone out with her, in public of course.

I was thinking about taking her out or something...

She is still in high school, she is just trying to figure out dates, relationships, etc. She probably doesn't know that much about how the rest of the world works. All she really wants is some social interraction and attention from the male species, which she could and should get from boys at her own school.

Do you think her parents actually want her to go out with someone who has been out in the real world that much longer? I would find that out, first, because if it were my parents or if I were her parent, you would be dead meat.

I don't think her parents would care much. Why you might ask?

Well, her parents are content with her older sister being enganged to a older guy than her who has no High school diploma, bounced from many jobs, has a brand new car thats now off the road, been arrested a few times for drugs, and knocked her up. So they are expecting. I really doubt her parents would care, and no I wouldn't have sex with her.

Ummm just wondering if you wouldnt have sex with her why the thing in the inital post about her being legal (which I think she is in most states anymore though you might want to check yours they might still be 18.)

It's 17. That is the legal age of consent in NY. She's not 17 yet....

Is her older sister still in high school? There is a gigantic chasm between a high school student and a college one.

Plus just because her older sister screwed up and her parents have decided that she is old enough to make her own mistakes doesn't mean that they don't care, that they aren't making their son-in-laws life miserable, or that they won't make sure that you are burned at the stake.

Her oldersister is 21 and never did or will finish college. She'll be working at Burger King the rest of her life.

Before her sister got knocked up, her parents let her scummy boyfriend move in, liked him and where willing to pay for the wedding, since they got enganged so fast. She wasn't preggers back then, but now she is.

how old are you? personally i think it is not a good idea for a 16 year old to go out with a college student for various reasons. there definitely is a big gap in the experience/maturity factor. i dont mean to imply that you would take advantage of her or anything though, i just think high school person dating college person is not a good mix in general.

Hey, this reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago before I met my present boyfriend. I was about to turn 40 years old and I got this huge HUGE crush on a young man who was about 22 years old. He was a very special person, with unique qualities. Women fell for him in droves. I was embarrassed to find myself attracted to him just like all the other hordes of women. I was so attracted to him that I completely transformed myself all in the hopes that he might find me attractive. I lost about 60 pounds, I bought new clothes, I even went and had some of those cosmetic injections. All I wanted was for him to find me as interesting and attractive as I found him to be. I never allowed him to know that I had a crush on him, nor did I ever behave in anyway that could be construed as inappropriate for my age. Well, it worked. He did become very attracted to me. However, I never acted on the opportunity. I'm very glad that phase passed eventually. It was very uncomfortable being so attracted to someone who I felt, for me, was definitely off limits. I just wanted to be able to capture his attention, but not have sex with him. That would have been too TACKY.

If your friend is of the age of legal consent then I can't see why it would be wrong for you to date her. I do think it's important for many reasons to adhere to the age of consent. But if she IS of legal age, then go for it. Some people are unique and wonderful in a way that goes beyond age.

My folks said they wouldn't mind, if I waited until she was 17, which is the legal age of consent in New York.

I think you should wait too. Having been a young gild once myself, I look back on the older guys that dated me as creeps. From the outside, that 16 year old may seem mature are ready for a relationship, but is vulnerable inside and still learning how to understand and express her own needs in a relationship. She may put her own feelings aside to gain your approval and regret it later (landing you in jail if she is still underage). Most of all, those few years are like a lifetime to a young person, as you should know. The difference between you is huge.

You sound like you've already made up your mind.. so why did you make this thread?

Holy crap man! Even if we ignore the relationship issues, just from a legal perspective I think it is nuts to be dating someone who is under the legal age of consent (when you are that much older).

Imagine the possible legal trouble that this could cause for you. Even if you did nothing wrong, I still think there is too much risk of trouble. What if you broke up with her and then she started saying to friends that she had sex with you? Or other crap like that. Steer clear of potential trouble, especially trouble as big as this.

I think that your minimum standard, for your own protection, should be to at least wait until she reaches the legal age of consent before dating her.

That said, it would be a very sad society if people of significantly different ages cannot be friends, so you could still be friends with her provided it really is truly only just friends, nothing at all romantic and no flirting, and keep it in the back of your mind at all times that you want to steer clear of anything that could cause legal trouble for you.

You got two problems

1. she's underage

2. she's a co-worker. If you are in a more senior position than her and you did date her at all, and the relationship went sour - which it often does with young teenage girls - she could make sexual harrassment charges against you. The relationship would be inappropriate in the same way it is inappropriate to for uni lecturers to have relationships with their students even if both are legal age for it. You can get into legal trouble for taking advantage of your position of power.

So I think you should explain to her gently that she's a great girl but you can only be friends with her and nothing more. That, and maybe try telling her you like some music she hates or something so she stops thinking you're perfect for her.