life is crap

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true

Bull.

Life is precious and short.

Both true.

I think.


What day is this?


Either it's true today, or it was true yesterday. And I'm pretty sure there's a few really crappy days in the forecast.


Today seems okay (so far). At least in this neck o'the woods.

Bullhockey! (errr... which is I believe an accepted term in the States... or I might be making it up... whatever)

Life can be crap if you let it - I should know as mine was for 38 years. Now though my life is fantastic because I finally quit wallowing and did something about it. AS makes the whole happiness bit a lot more difficult to get to for sure, and it takes a <b>LOT</b> of hard work and forcing yourself into scary situations, and I guess you might still end up miserable anyway, <b>BUT</b> it's that or keep wallowing. And it's well worth it when you get there. Find your inner peace and all that

Oh God, I seem to be turning into a Buddhist these days...

But crap is good. Crap fertilizes land while life sucks it dry. Crap also doesn't reproduce to the point of infestation like life does, it is just a byproduct of life. Crap does not reek of injustice.

Life is something much worse than crap.

Life is good.

I personally dont get it. I find it a stupid and miserable experience we put ourselves into for no aparent reason other than procreating. And i hate babies with a passion.

You don't have to be an incubator for human spawn to have purpose in life. And life is only "stupid and miserable" if you choose for it to be that way. If that's what makes you happy, more power to you--personally, I prefer my tragicomedy. Even when things suck, they usually do so in such theatrically comical ways that at least I can laugh (but only because I've cultivated an exceptionally dark sense of humor). At least it isn't boring.

Happiness is a lifestyle choice. It takes effort, problem-solving skills, research--you could say I turned it into a special interest. It started off a decade or so ago as a frantic effort to "be okay" when my life was such a mess that suicide was starting to sound like a comforting backup plan. My life still has plenty of problems, but they're setbacks that can be overcome--I'm like TAFKASH these days, following my own peculiar version of the Buddhist Middle Way (and borrowing from their meditation techniques). Once made a priority, it was like my brain kept working on the problem even during sleep--over time my brain started randomly belching up useful insights and solutions.

Aspies are known for having superior fluid intelligence, which is the kind used for pattern recognition and solving problems. How to live a happy, fulfilling life is a problem like any other, but the only person with the necessary access and motivation for finding a solution is the person living the life. Nobody else can do this for you and finding solutions probably won't be quick or easy or even painless. This is probably the most important problem any person faces, aspie or NT, and yet how much time do most people spend thinking about it? Use your big giant brain to figure yourself out. Life is like a complicated game of chess where you have to draw your own chessboard and if you don't start thinking about strategy, it will keep on sucking--and you will have no one but yourself to blame.

Here's a challenge for anyone who really is that unhappy--turn your own happiness into a serious research project for at least a month. If it doesn't help, you can at least say you tried.

Unfortunately, some of us suck at chess <points to self>. In all honestly, some of us a trying our hardest, but the mishaps keep piling up regardless of it . . . it gets to be draining. I know, I sound like an endless pessimist most of the time, and there are days where a glimmer of hope will shine through. The biggest problem, however, is lack of direction and ambition, which seems to be a must in current society. Are there things I've wanted to do, yes, but because of the current mental state of humanity, those things that I like would just be misused (rational fear or not), and I refuse to be the one pasted with the blame. Hell, Einstein even said, "If i had known that my research would create a weapon of mass destruction, I would not have seen it through."

Of course mishaps keep piling up--that's the way life is for everyone. What appeals to me most about the Buddhist philosophy is that it encourages acceptance of suffering instead of denial. s**t happens, but that doesn't mean we can't still be happy.

I can relate to your concern about being involved in the creation of technology that is misused, as this is also an issue for me. But don't you think it's a bit of a cop out? George Bernard Shaw said, "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." I'm an unreasonable woman, myself.

Only time im happy is when im doing things i like alone. That will never happen later in life, hell and even then i dont like whats coming at all. Im not ready and will never be ready to keep a self sustaining mindset. I might as well end it now than continue with all the BS.

There isn't any hope for me, but there is for my kids, so I am doing what I can for them. I've given up on being happy. Every time I think there's a glimmer of hope it gets snatched away and over 90 percent of the time there's no reason, or at least nobody will give me a reason or explain why I can't have what will make me happier, so at least I can have some closure or some peace of mind, so I give up. I am so tired of this crap. I'm smart, but I don't understand people. I don't "get" them. I get hurt and when I ask why I don't get an answer most of the time. Either I get general, completely hostile blame or I get some vague sh!t about how it's nothing I did wrong but no detailed explanation of what went wrong. When I ask for one I get accused of sh!t I don't mean to do. I only want to know why interpersonal things always go to sh!t for me. It sucks to have an IQ higher than most people but like ZERO understanding of how people work emotionally. If I didn't care, if I had few emotions, it wouldn't tear me apart like this and it would be easier to take...but this is HELL for me. If I had no family I'd be feeling no pain right now.

LIFE IS CRAP.

~Kate

I can admire that philosophy, but the way society is vs how we hope it is are two different things. Back in the day, if you messed something up, the consequences were not nearly as bad as they are now. Blacklisting, social exclusion, prison, etc. means that if you try something, you'd best have insurance, and one hell of a way to compensate. Now I'll admit, I'm more of a thinker than an inventor/designer, and I do love coming up with ideas to try, but the fact of the matter is some of this stuff could be abused (yes, I often think of Mechs, weapons, etc. . . . hate human nature sometimes). Admittedly, there are somethings I would like to design, say, different kind of prosthetics. But, again, I'm more for the idea rather than the execution. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses to not do anything, which is probably true, but what can one do when so much is required before anyone listens to you (let alone having to "play by their rules")?

What can I say when so many are convinced life is crap? It took a catastrophically bad event in my life to make me desperate enough to really put effort into fixing my seriously messed up life. It took me years of "trying to be okay" before things started coming together and then another catastrophically bad event came along and left me homeless. My friends joke about me being a horseman of the apocalypse.

And you know what? I'm grateful for these terrible things. That which does not kill you really does make you stronger (if more bitter and cynical). When more bad things happen (and they do, regularly), I deal with it and find a way to learn from the experience and turn it into something positive. Of course, I throw myself a little pity party and cry and feel sorry for myself or grieve for whoever died for an evening before moving on--I'm human, after all--but moving on is what must happen and it gets easier over time. Happiness is in the brain, within you--if your happiness rests on external things, it isn't yours to keep. It takes effort.

Started getting serious about meditation recently and over the last few days I've started to look forward to doing it--it takes some practice. But it's free and an excellent psychological defense, so when disaster strikes again, I'll be even more resilient. And it helps me appreciate all of the good things in life while they're still here, because nothing is permanent.

I believe happiness is a choice. Being miserable is easier, but not nearly as much fun.

Interesting, but I've recently been more, don't want to say pessimistic, but subjective about it: Happiness is determined by the level of misery you're comfortable with. My reasoning is this: if you get a rich person, then take everything away from him and his pampered life, there is a good chance he'll no longer be happy. But, as you mentioned coping mechanisms, said individual will either wallow in self pity, or find a way back up the social ladder. The key is coping, which I know a lot of us will/do have trouble with (raises hand). In some ways, it's not so much about it being easier, but is more a return to something we know. Am I in a situation I could have avoided, who knows . . . could I change my status now, hard to say . . . will an opportunity come up that could change my outlook, uncertain. Uncertainty is the bane of those in the spectrum because it is difficult to understand why some things work, and some won't, and it often feels like society will give people a chance to find out what will/won't work before it's too late.

How do you cope when things never seem to work out interpersonally?

Kate