Calming down

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I am finding it really hard to calm myself down at the moment. I know it's because I haven't enough different things to occupy my mind with...however

I am immensely self concious in social situations. I turn my head away from people when I can't cope with eye contact but then I try to rectify it so I don't come across rude but then my gestures are very intense and eye contact is exaggerated, this is also really frustrating as i've just returned to my badminton club after two years away. I do find badminton good for me to let off some steam but I have some much repression that I appear like an absolute PSYCHO on the court and when I come off the court my mind is racing 100 mph...

Also what is horrible is that the same people are at the club from 2 years ago and I feel so stupid because 2 years ago I was a different person "to them", laid back and friendly but I was imitating personalities then and my sensory intake has heightened due to playing in a band...

It's such a frustrating contradiction because I am friendly, charming and I do love people but outwardly i'm shaky shy, tight lipped and aloof because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin...too many personalities/masks/phrases to pick from!

It's like i've got all this psychological awareness, love, enjoyment in listening to people but I am disabled in using the tools I have!! !! !! !

How do I find a comfort zone and calm myself down and stop frightening people with my sudden 100 mph head movements and eye contact/paranoia?

I have no "close" friends and no partner

I appreciate you reading all this if you've got this far...

Thanks Kerry

This is obvious, I know, but have you tried deep breathing exercises? Its a quick fix sometimes.

i am still trying to figure out alot of the same stuff

this is why i have lion time, several hours daily....

jammie

The only way I can usually deal with is to take a very long walk usually at powerwalking pace, which comes naturally with my autistic dummy spits anyway. The anger does wear off eventually and I find it is terrific exercise.

It's silly but I have an afternoon nap to calm down. I started it when my girls were babies and continued it when I was diagnosed with atypical facial pain (like trigeminal neuralgia). It helps me de-stress from my morning (preparing 2 little Aspies for school!) as well as prepare me for an afternoon alone (well, 3 or more hours) with said Aspies (I'm an Aspie as well). I tend to get overwhelmed easily, which I know now is common but I used to wonder what the heck was wrong with me!

I find after my nap, I can talk to the other parents/teachers when I PU my girls at school, do all the 'normal' social stuff...and I'm much more relaxed doing it. I just need that quiet time. Sometimes even after that I go and lie across my bed for 10 or 15 minutes to 'get away' from all the sounds and stuff.

I just rant about whatever's pissing me off in my blog. Usually helps a little bit.

I'm still trying too. I'm blessed with a nice husband, but withdrawing totally from people for long periods of time which has always been my choice in coping is not working wonders with our relationship. And I would also like to make some friends. All I can suggest is to try what my next plan is. To try to meet and make friends with a few people like me so we can trade ideas.